Happy Friday everyone!
I am starting to feel I can let go a little of Season 5 and it's emotion provoking characters. Thanks to the wise and thoughtful input from all of you, I feel like I can make some sense of it now. I referred to our new community as the BBB (Best of the Bachelorette Boards) to Nadya, when I was attempting to get myself set up here. Now I think it should be BBBB - Best and Brightest!
Jim, I love the thought that this could become a writers group and I would be thrilled to be a part of it. It is such a pleasure to read all the well crafted posts here. This is REAL! and it's so uplifting to find others who are like minded and also so very kind and open and hilarious at times.
So on the theme of moving on... What will we all be doing next Monday night? And how do we feel about who the next Bachelor should be?
I wouldn't mind to watch Reid or Kipton more - who wouldn't? And it would give us a chance to get to know them a bit more perhaps (editing notwithstanding). Would our feelings change? I agree that the Bach/ette seems to end up taking a bit of a backseat to all the wanna be winners. So would we be distracted or more attracted?
I have only seen two previous seasons of this show. The Paris one with the Dr. (Travis?) and Prince Lorenzo in Rome. I was drawn to it for the vicarious experience of the European settings- uber romantic to me. But at the end of both seasons, I found I didn't much like the bachelor and felt he had made the wrong choice. I always cried for the F2. I was so turned off, I gave up on the show, until Jillian. I couldn't resist because she was Canadian and I got hooked immediately.
I have to say I think I prefer the Bachelorette because of the mass of great looking guys. So much eye candy, even if they turn out to be buffoons. I remember cringing a lot at the behavior of many of the young women. Maybe because I could identify with some of them too much - been there, done that!
Kelly, thank you for telling us you were Jillian at one time. I think I may still be in some ways.
So many of you have shared your personal stories and situations, I want to give you a bit of mine. I just turned 51. Never been married. No kids. Many relationships over the years, some serious and long lasting, but I just never married any of them. In hindsight, I have no regrets about those decisions.
The last time I "fell in love" was about 3 years ago and when I ended up heartbroken, it took a while to recover of course. I started a new job and threw myself into that and basically took myself off the market. Recently I have been doing some online dating. Very interesting, lots of work and mostly disappointing. I agree with Heidi that the show can inspire one to hope that there really are some good guys out there. Jim do you have a brother by any chance? :)
I am an interior decorator and do love Art Deco and Art Noveau. Decogirl is my dating site name. I wanted to be just Canadiann here, but am so inept at getting Googlized I can't seem to change it. And now it seems more appropriate to be Deco. I think there is a lot more love on this blog than any dating site!
Thank you all for making me feel welcome and I am excited to have the opportunity of knowing and sharing with you. Its downright romanatic!
Posts
Ann - am I correct?? As with the all the members here you have added to the already great atmosphere. I never watched the Bachelor before until Deanna's season - not that I cared for her at all but WOW what a great collection of eye candy and I loved watching the male interactions. I would see trailers for the previous Bachelor seasons and it just seemed to be a bunch of cat fights so I had zero interest. For that reason I was put off by the previous Bachelorettes.
ReplyDeleteSo I was drawn into the cycle of Deanna, Jason and now Jillian. I was impressed with the conduct of the girls on Jason's season for the most part - leaving the final fiasco alone as with everything I only wish they all find true happiness.
I am pleased we have so many Canadians here and thank you for sharing your story. I need to write mine out full sometime. I realize I have given out bits and pieces but not the complete puzzle that makes up Joanne. Actually if you follow my name you can link to my own blog - its all just mindless rambling, some fun and a few rants for good measure.
In a nutshell I am 53 - soon to be 54 married to the second great love of my life. My first husband was the consumate "bad boy" with a heart of gold. We had one child together - I am still trying to lose my baby fat from having him but he will be 29 in August so I think my battle is over - the fat remains.
After I recovered from my shock of finding myself widowed at the ripe old age of 45 I turned to the internet for dating - I waded through a ton of toads before I found my prince. Actually he was a geeky nerd with no fashion sense, but I saw through it to the man I now love. And even though he now has a great new hair style, glasses and a much improved wardrobe he is still my geeky nerd and I love him. So you never know who is behind that computer screen name.
thanks Joanne! I am off to join a couple of other single 'older' women for the evening but will check in later. I am honored to be invited to your blog and hopefully can figure out how to find it.
ReplyDeleteI love it that we are all learning together - not only about setting up Google accounts etc. but the bigger and more important life lessons. I'm hoping some of you can help me change my pattern of picking charming bad boys, who are emotionally unavailable or unable to commit. Much to explore there!
Agree about the Canadian content and thought it was interesting that so many posters on the BB felt it important to make a point of identifying themselves. We may be polite, but we are not shy apparently!
Cheers,
Ann
Hi Deco-Ann,
ReplyDeleteI haven't gotten over this season yet; I don't have a strong preference for the next bachelor. If Reid is chosen, I'll definitely watch, although I hope he doesn't accept it for his own sake. Realistically, I'll probably be drawn into the show by all the discussions on this blog. While I'm the only male here so far, the eye candy on these kinds of shows don't typically include my types. I prefer exotic, unusual beauties over classic beauties.
I have two brothers but they are both married. Neither has much in common with me, so you can't go by that anyway. Thanks for the compliment though!
Both Nadya and I have way too much experience with Internet dating. You may have heard that we met online. We can give you advice, if that helps. It's not much fun but it does open one up to a much broader chunk of humanity, both good and bad. I definitely agree that it's better to hold out for the best (or very good) then settle for what you can get. I never married until I married Nadya at 46.
I have yet to visit Paris, although Nadya is trying to get me there. The biggest draws for me are the museums and the Art Nouveau architecture. I have been to Prague twice. Art Nouveau is big there (Alphonse Muche lived there) but so is every other architecture style from Romanesque on. Prague is definitely my favorite city. I recommend it heartily.
Jim
Hi Joanne,
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's coincidental that so many among us are Canadians. My experience has been that Canadians are remarkably nice and I consider that a very good thing! I saw one thread on the board pondering why people bother discuss whether any of the bachelors would join Jillian in Vancouver. The notion that any of them would ever want to leave America was unimaginable. Putting aside the obvious prejudice of those arguments, I wondered what continent she thought Canada resided in. No doubt Mexico was in another hemisphere. How do Canadians feel about our possessiveness of the term "American"?
If you don't mind, I'd like to check out your blog too.
And as for geeky nerds, I was one long before either term was in common use or perhaps even coined. We can indeed be worth knowing!
Jim
Wow -- interesting posts, everyone!
ReplyDeleteI think it's a great idea for us, seeing that we are blogging on 'Romantic Portrayals', to post our own romantic history (or as much as we feel comfortable sharing). I will do that soon in a new post.
Ann: I'm 49 next month and although I have been married almost 25 years, I could easily have been in your position. In my very early 20's, the life I had envisioned for myself including lots of travelling, a post somewhere exotic in diplomatic service of some sort and no husband or kids! I certainly don't regret the path my life has taken but it ended up being quite different from what I thought it'd be. One day soon, I will regale you with stories of all the 'bad boys' I dated (all before I was 25 and married, of course!)
Jim: You and Nadya must go to Paris together. While at its worst, it can be a tourist's nightmare, at its best, there are unbelievable architectural and cultural sights to behold! Then, for a more laid-back, country feeling with excellent but simple peasant food (out of this world), you must stay in Provence. I'm sure Nadya and I will have lots to talk about when we meet, as we seem to have so much background in common.
Now that you mention it, I wonder why Canadians don't identify themselves as North American as much as Americans do. You got me thinking about what the differences are between Americans and Canadians. After all, we come from similar stock, we speak the same language, we read the same literature and listen to the same music. And yet, I feel that we are quite different. Anyone want to start a discussion? I am actually a bit of a cultural chameleon (not a karma chameleon -- poor old Boy George! -- oops dating myself!) since I am such a hybrid and identify with all my various parts.
Joanne: I had a good laugh when I read that you are still carrying your pregnancy fat from your 29 year-old!! My body has never been the same after my daughter was born! I joke about never having shedding the pregnancy pounds from 13 years ago!! Well, I feel quite relieved that I've still got a few more years to keep trying!! I have never been skinny but always very active all my life, doing various sports and going to the gym practically every day. Then, a year ago, I injured my knee (at the gym) and discovered that not only did I have a torn meniscus but also very advanced osteoarthritis (from lots of ignored knee injuries throughout my life doing dance and then sports. So now, awaiting possible surgery and dealing with the arthritis, I have stability issues with my knee which have prevented me from being very active this last year. I hate it and hope one day to return to my old lifestyle. I don't like being unfit. (Notice, I didn't say big -- I think you can be big and fit at the same time).
I love that so many of us are married to "nerdy geeks"!! Long live geekdom! And, speaking of eye candy, to think that before I married, I only dated people who looked like Gilles Marini and Olivier Martinez (sorry-- still my physical type and couldn't be more different than dear old hubby - LOL)
More later,
M.
P.S. Nadya, where are you? :)
I'll keep this short since I need to get to bed, but I'm glad we've come together here. And I love the suggestion of BBBB. I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteAs for the next bachelor, I would definitely watch if it were Reid or Kiptyn. While I think Reid is too good for this show, if he wants to do it I would support him 1000%.
until tomorrow.
Sheri
(hunters)
Dear Marianna,
ReplyDeleteI'm here! I've just been prowling the bachboards looking for missing people. Where is Cornelia? JakeorReid4me? Island Principessa? None of them have posted in a long. long time. Maybe you can get a hold of them. I, and I'm sure most if not all of us, would love to hear from them here.
The other thing keeping me busy, other than alpaca and dairy goat business, doctor's appointments, and my daughter's freshman orientation at U, has been taking care of responding to emails from our growing list of authors and readers. It has been great fun to talk to people that way, but has taken a little time, because I've been toggling between a few different spots on gmail, blogger, and bachboards. But I checked in here now and then and saw everyone was doing swimmingly. :-)
Now, in response to your comments here: I know everyone pokes fun at poor Boy George, but I remember when Karma Chameleon was tops, it was just the funnest song to dance to (Le Freak, too)...yours truly was the Dancing Queen incarnate. I lived to dance, and in my heydey spent 4-6 hours almost every night in discos, even after a full day of work or classes (oh! for the energy of youth)...anywhere in the world didn't matter, as long as by 9 or 10 pm I was in a disco doing my wild thing. Whenever the subject comes up, I can see the look of alarm on my dear Jim's face, and I hasten to assure him that that girl is long gone, lol.
I'm sorry to hear about your injury/pain. I hear ya'. I've had a real struggle with my health the past year or so as well, and for me, if I can't (or don't) exercise, the pounds pile on quickly. Fortunately, my health is improving, so I hope to start exercising again, and be back to normal by next year. I feel so yucky this way.
One last thing. Marianna, I've noticed your posts about Gilles Marini and every time I've just laughed. 'Cause guess what? Oui, moi aussi! In terms of that, the bachelor I really wanted to see more of and get to "know" better this season was Juan. Definitely more along the lines of my former type than anyone else. But Reid is, for sure, the end all in terms of what we saw. His sense of humor is amazingly sweet.
When I met Jim, I suddenly realized something I had never known before; one of the major missing ingredients in all those dark, handsome, brooding types I was involved with was humor. They take themselves entirely too seriously. And I thought that was "manly" and sexy. Jim made me laugh, and I could make him laugh and I fell in love with the magic of sheer joy for joy's sake. And he's still manly and sexy. Poor Jilly's really missing out.
Hugs,
Nadya
Dear Ann,
ReplyDeleteYou know, I spent about 45 minutes writing this absolute novel as a response to your post, then did something wrong, and lost it all just as I was about to post. AARRRGH! I hate it when that happens. I'm so mad, but too tired to rewrite it. I promise that I will reconstruct it and post it tomorrow.
Sweet dreams to you and all,
Nadya
Morning everyone -- well after another not so hot night I actually was able to sleep so today shouldn't be too bad here.
ReplyDeleteAs far as my blog no invites necessary - just click on my name here or on the side panel. That will take you to my profile page and you will see my other blog "Moving forward at Half Speed". I am actually pondering starting another one after a discussion I had the other day with Marianna. My life on the internet is almost 14 years -- the last eight being very intense and the relationships I have formed in reflection have been incredible. So pondering attempting to remember.
Jim -- as far as Canadians and our feelings about Americans that's actually just a source of bemusement for us. We just feel like the poor relatives that got stuck in the attic. We try not to make a lot of noise and behave ourselves to the best of our abilities. I remember when we would go to New Zealand and one of my brother's in law lived in Australia - it was much the same relationship. Australians looked as New Zealand as this poor country with their only hope of survival was to throw out a big hook and drag it over to Australia. My son said Australians were the most arrogant people he had ever met (he lived down under for a year).
Nadya -- I always remember listening to Joanne Woodward talk about her marriage to Paul Newman - aside from being the sexiest man alive he made her laugh - daily!!! I spent too many years not laughing (now that's a WHOLE other story) and now we laugh all day every day. Maybe I am just blind but Jill laughs with Ed -- you have to watch the outtakes at the end of some of the shows -- it was like Ed knew the cameras weren't on and he was his real self. Like the business with the shorts - he said he couldn't compete with Kip with the abs so he had to show off his *wink* marvelous body some other way -- I guess I saw his subtle humour.
Well later my friends.
Hi Joanne,
ReplyDeleteNadya and I can feel for you in the heat. Our air conditioner broke down last week and we've had similar temperatures. This is fairly normal summer weather for here. Fortunately, the temperature really drops at night, so we were able to get the house cool in the morning. By the evening we had pools of molten cats scattered about the tile floor. The air conditioner was fixed yesterday and the cats have rejoined us on the furniture and in our laps.
As for American/Canadian terminology, part of the problem is that there is no adequate word to describe a citizen of the United States apart from "American". Canadians are forced to use that term or use a more derogatory term as is done in Mexico.
There is no shortage of arrogance in this country but I think the real problem is ignorance. Studies always show that we are the most ignorant of developed countries. This has been the case nationally for over a generation. In California, it's been almost two generations. Thus, our ignorance is expanding since even our teachers are ignorant.
This level of ignorance breeds complacency and self-centeredness. Surely you noticed a wide variety of BB posters who wrote outrageously stupid or irrational comments and then claimed that they were logical? A lifetime of ignorance breeds such thinking. It's scary, actually.
I taught high school in the '80s. A study came out at the time that showcased the disturbing level of ignorance in the U.S. One of the worst areas was in geography. Being the curious scientist that I am, I gave me students a blank map of the world and asked them to fill in all the countries they knew. The classes were advanced physics (very high achievers) and remedial science (very low achievers).
The results were stunning. The best students did little better than the worst students. Many of the former could not locate more than five countries in the entire world. The only high-scoring tests came from exchange students from other countries and a few Americans who had some overseas education.
The aftermath was also stunning. My advanced students BEGGED me to teach them geography! I had a world map posted beside them all year (covered during the test). Most didn't know it was there. After the test, they studied that map in small groups. I gave them a crash course in world geography and then they retook the test (at their insistence). They scored about five times better. Even today, they probably still know more geography than most Americans.
If so many of us come off as stupid, it's not entirely our fault. As a current elementary school teacher, Nadya could tell you far more than I can about the problems of education in this country.
I welcome other perspectives!
Jim
Jim -- sorry about your A/C going out. We always depend on the lower temperatures at night and we haven't had those in this heat wave. Just coping now -- feel for my poor mom she is a prisoner in her condo, but she has a portable A/C unit we moved into her TV room.
ReplyDeleteWell we could get into the whole American vs Canadian discussion. I think sadly you nailed it with the education. The children of the US are not given the chance to learn about this world. I think for that reason most of my American relatives and friends are not well travelled. They don't realize there is something beyond even some of their own backyards. I am having a heck of a time dragging a friend of mine from Brooklyn anywhere east of PA. My aunt and uncle in Florida have never travelled off the east coast (they moved from NJ to FL). I love her to pieces but her lack of knowledge of the rest of the world is amazing. My son grew up travelling and learning about the world and most of his friends have done just as much travelling as he has.
Not sure if its available on YouTube but there is a comedian in Canada - Rick Mercer and he produced a show several years ago called Talking to American's -- we found it hilarious but also sad.
I think that is what I love about the group that has found its way here. All extremely intelligent open minded and humour people. I remember once several months ago I was on a game playing site where chat runs beside. Two people came on and started conversing in French. They were not saying anything secret - one of them was just talking about how sick they had been and I would guess they just didn't think to go to private chat. Next thing all these "people" started chat screaming at them to speak English, that this is a US site and other languages are not allowed. I had to speak up and say - that was Canadian and I guess I wasn't welcome. They blustered back that I was ok because I spoke English - crap its just a silly chat board. And trust me there are small minded people here in Canada too (we call them Albertans - just kidding to any AB people here LOL)
Oh I know why I signed on - I just sent a not to Island Pricipessa asking her if she wants to join in. Nadya - I might need the invite again if she says yes.
J
PS Jim I guess the only way to edit is to copy old comment - then delete - make changes and post back as new comment - not very user friendly.
Joanne,
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree that there were many times that Jillian laughed with Ed. As a matter of fact, it seemed that they could be downright silly together, which is always a good thing. So, you're right, Jillian did feel that she had that ingredient with Ed as well as with Reid. Thank you so much for pointing that out. That's why I love you guys...you always challenge a person to think things through properly. :-)
Nadya,
ReplyDeleteI am honored that you spent so much time last night writing a novel in response to my post, and so sorry it blew up! Glad these things don't just happen to me.
I always appreciate your comments and would love your input whenever you feel inspired and have some time.
Having so much fun here - Thank You!
Ann
One thing's for sure: This American LOVES Canada. Seriously. Like, maybe even more than she loves Reid ;) She cried maybe even a little more when the show left Canada than when Reid first left. Maybe.
ReplyDeleteOk, not really, but I. LOVE. Canada.