I found this among my drafts and now can't even remember if I ever even posted it on the Bachboard. Here, then, for a look back, were my thoughts on this show when they showed the men, ostensibly 'telling all'. It fits in with the discussion Leen started about how contestants are forever changed by having been on the show.
Marianna's Musings: The Men Tell All
The men may have told all they were allowed to tell but the evening definitely belonged to Chris Harrison and Mike Fleiss.
Together, frontman Spin Meister and behind-the-scenes Scheme Meister created a cleverly-pieced promulgation of propaganda. Jillian, the men and any objective presenting of the facts were clearly no match for this formidable duo.
They may have gone from subtly brilliant to slap-in-the-face obvious but let's face facts: all we know of this season, all we saw of this season and all we opined from this season, all this comes completely and utterly through the fickle and factitious filter of Fleiss.
First up, the final 3 bachelors get their 'human, endearing and imperfect' edit. We see athletic Kiptyn missing a step, flailing and straddling the ropes. We see nerdy, serious Ed loosen up after one cocktail too many and slap Jillian's knee, yank at her dress, attempt to touch her nose and assume odd positions in the hotel corridoor. We see poor rhythm-challenged Reid decide not to overthink any dance moves as he throws caution to the wind and attempts some rather unfortunate hula gyrations.
Next on the agenda is Fleiss' not-so-gentle reminder to us that, despite all the drama, true love really is his goal. He trots out Jason and Molly from last season and they are eager to reaffirm their case, salvage their reputation and show us that they are clearing that long-ago overgrown path to lasting love, originally forged by Trista and Ryan.
Momentarily forgetting that this is Jillian's limelight, Chris characterizes Jason's season with his customary superlatives of the 'most... ever' kind. Molly continues this dramatic theme, telling us that they were "ripped to shreds in the media", almost elevating their plight to one approaching world hunger, the economic crisis or the swine flu epidemic. Oh my godness, I guess I just never really realized how awful it's been for them!
But after a few select montages of domestic bliss, albeit only on alternating weekends, Jason and Molly are grinning like a couple of Cheshire cats and the Fleissian message, that tv dating is a viable way to form a long-lasting union, has been none-too-subtly delivered.
And now, for the semblance of spontaneity, the men start sharing their stories. At first, Mike and Michael confess that they really "fell for" Jillian. Jake even calls her a "doll face". But enough sweet talk. Fleiss wants drama and they oblige. Robby is called a drunk; Tanner is called a tattletale; Dave is called a "ticking time bomb".
Then it's time to attack Jake. Dave accuses him of crying like a girl (or a "Mesnick") over the balcony; Jessie calls him "phony" and Sasha, in a flash of irony and perspicaciousness, calls him an "actor in a soap opera." Jake attempts to tarnish his perfect image by swearing at Sasha and later in the show, shares his anguish over Jillian with a highly sympathetic and mostly female audience who cheer him on and boo Dave, who has his own problems trying to justify his actions before wisely deciding to apologize for making Jillian uncomfortable.
Juan is the next victim but this time, Chris Harrison dutifully executes Fleiss' orders to play devil's advocate. There is much discussion of the "Man Code", many descriptions of how different Midwest jocks are from L.A. metrosexuals, and many varied definitions of what it means to tell someone you're going to "kill" them. Jake dismisses it all rather aptly as "alpha-male banter".
The next obvious Fleissian manoeuver is to teach Wes a lesson for not spouting the party line. Pretty much all the men have a field day assassinating Wes' perhaps already dubious character. Not surprisingly, Chris Harrison, who has never bothered to hide his growing contempt for Wes, gleefully leads the troops, calling Wes an "a**hole".
A few men make a feeble attempt to come to Wes' defense, but it is quickly squelched by a video 'tribute to the most-hated contestant in bachelor history", showing Wes' worst bits, edited to within an inch of their lives and accompanied by the soundtrack of his now infamous song. Not yet satisfied, Chris insists on asking Jillian several of the same but reworded questions about how she could have been blind to Wes' ulterior motives and deception.
The show's 'bloopers', however, seem to be a momentary lapse in Fleissian judgment. After all, isn't the very nature of bloopers to show that someone has veered off script? Yes, it's hilarious to see people fall off ski hills but when Jillian is shown reshooting again and again her flubbed line of "the guys keep getting hotter and hotter" and saying she wants to substitute it with the easier to pronounce (perhaps when slightly inebriated?) "better and better looking", then that's when it starts to look a bit like that scripted soap opera that Sasha so guilelessly referred to.
I suspect that this series may have originally started out trying to be a reality show. But reality is not always dramatic, nor its heroes and villains always black and white. And then there is the problem of how to make each season more compelling than the last, in order to draw in the viewers and, consequently, capture those all-important ratings. This is where Fleiss has decided that reality occasionally needs a little kick in the pants.
Actually, some of us viewers need that kick in the pants too. We need to realize that the show is, primarily, about entertainment and that the love story, although undoubtedly present, often ends up playing second fiddle to trumped-up tribulations and contrived contortions of reality. We need to remember that the hapless bachelors and bachelorettes who sign away, if not their lives then certainly their reputations, probably come out of this experience much wiser and, in some cases, quite a bit richer.
But now, on with the storyline. From the previews, next week's show certainly appears to be living up to Chris' promise of "the most emotional finale ever". We see both Ed and Kiptyn in the now classic limo pose, staring pensively at their respective engagement rings. We see a teary Jillian, who is clearly going to be put through the emotional wringer before choosing her Prince Charming. And we see just enough of a glimpse of something that could turn the final 2 premise utterly and completely on its head. We see Reid, ostensibly returning, and we see a ring in his hand too!
Could it be, that our proposal-possessed bachelorette from the last episode now has not one, not two but three promises to ponder?
Nicely done, Fleiss! Next Monday, you'll have us exactly where you want us: glued to our televisions.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
October Book List wrap-up
Two books: old-school Best Sellers
1) The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Part thriller, part social commentary. It's rough in places divulging far-too-much on Sweden's economy, with a few graphic scenes of sexual violence. Regardless, the plot keeps you pushing through. If you want a quick, interesting read, this one's for you, as long as you can block out the violence against women. That was pretty tough for me.
2) Three Cups of Tea, by Greg Mortenson: 1/2 way through. More on it in November :)
1) The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Part thriller, part social commentary. It's rough in places divulging far-too-much on Sweden's economy, with a few graphic scenes of sexual violence. Regardless, the plot keeps you pushing through. If you want a quick, interesting read, this one's for you, as long as you can block out the violence against women. That was pretty tough for me.
2) Three Cups of Tea, by Greg Mortenson: 1/2 way through. More on it in November :)
Behind Melissa's public "humiliation"
For M:
Dumped! Betrayed! Humiliated! For a week now, the reality-TV universe has been obsessed with The Bachelor and its "After the Final Rose" reunion special that many perceived to be little more than an act of public humiliation.
While the show's season finale and reunion special were shown back-to-back on March 2, six weeks had elapsed between the finale — when bachelor Jason Mesnick chose Melissa Rycroft to be his bride —and the reunion special, during which he announced that he had changed his mind and professed feelings for runner-up Molly Malaney. With more than 17 million viewers watching, Rycroft arrived at the reunion special holding — not wearing — her ring, and Mesnick confirmed the suspicions that the engagement was off. (Read "Reality TV Wants to Heal You.")
As Rycroft fought back her tears and Mesnick turned to Malaney, the show's fans took to the Internet in a rage, decrying Mesnick as a "jackass," "playboy" and "bastard." It was clear that this particular chapter of reality TV struck some as a little too real. Yet creator and executive producer Mike Fleiss says the fireworks of March 2 reflected the best, not the worst, of the genre. "I'm not really surprised by this; it's just a sign that the show is working," he tells TIME. "That's really your job, to create television that the whole country will sit down at one time and watch together. But honestly, I really don't see the difference between [Mesnick's]dumping Molly in New Zealand [at the finale] and then dumping Melissa in Glendale [at the special]."
Some would say the difference is that Malaney knew there was a chance she could get kicked off the show during the competition, while Rycroft's departure occurred long after she had been picked as the winner — and purportedly gotten engaged. But Fleiss insists that Mesnick's change of heart hardly came as a shock to the bride-to-be. In the weeks leading up to the reunion special, Fleiss says, he started to hear word from other producers on the show that Rycroft and Mesnick were not getting along. Two weeks before the reunion, Fleiss says, he heard that Mesnick might be interested again in Malaney — whom Fleiss had already approached about taking part in the next season of The Bachelorette.
All of which set the stage for the most unpredictable "After the Final Rose" event in the show's history. Opting to film the show without a live audience for secrecy reasons, and unsure of how Malaney would respond to Mesnick's renewed affections, Fleiss says there was plenty of uncertainty when cameras started rolling — just not when it came to Rycroft. "She knew they were essentially finished before walking out on that stage," he says. "But still, doing it for real and making it official and handing back the ring brought out real emotions."
In various interviews, as well as in e-mails between Mesnick and Rycroft that were leaked to the press, Mesnick has blamed the production crew for some of the emotional fallout surrounding his ultimate choice of Malaney, saying he was obligated to dump Rycroft in front of the cameras. But Fleiss says that's only half the story. "We didn't want Jason to necessarily spill the beans prior to taping, to keep it as real and raw as possible," he says. "But he's a good guy and didn't conceal anything. He let her know before that show that he didn't think this relationship was going to work."
Fleiss seems to be basking in the buzz of the past week ("It's the first time in a long time that people have something to talk about other than the stock market"). He also believes the emotional outcry that has accompanied the show's dénouement points to a passion that a new wave of reality-TV contestants is inspiring. At one time, he says, it was next to impossible to recruit plausible contestants, or even hosts, for reality-TV projects. But as the genre has become increasingly mainstream, producers have been able to find people who are more than mere exhibitionists.
And with this new pool of talent, Fleiss says, the emotions involved have become more complicated — and engaging. "Believe me, I've seen Bachelor couples stay together who really didn't care about each other," he says. "Some of them feel an obligation to the show to try to be a couple, since we spent literally millions of dollars as their matchmakers and sent them all over the world."
But rather than playing to the expectations of producers or viewers, says Fleiss, Mesnick dared to reveal his true emotions and to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that love is not always a programmable enterprise. "More than any other bachelor in history, he was committed to love and to truly following his heart, even though he knew he was going to have to go through hell to do it," Fleiss says. "It's really a romantic notion, that he sacrificed chunks of his popularity to at least try to be with the woman he loved."
Dumped! Betrayed! Humiliated! For a week now, the reality-TV universe has been obsessed with The Bachelor and its "After the Final Rose" reunion special that many perceived to be little more than an act of public humiliation.
While the show's season finale and reunion special were shown back-to-back on March 2, six weeks had elapsed between the finale — when bachelor Jason Mesnick chose Melissa Rycroft to be his bride —and the reunion special, during which he announced that he had changed his mind and professed feelings for runner-up Molly Malaney. With more than 17 million viewers watching, Rycroft arrived at the reunion special holding — not wearing — her ring, and Mesnick confirmed the suspicions that the engagement was off. (Read "Reality TV Wants to Heal You.")
As Rycroft fought back her tears and Mesnick turned to Malaney, the show's fans took to the Internet in a rage, decrying Mesnick as a "jackass," "playboy" and "bastard." It was clear that this particular chapter of reality TV struck some as a little too real. Yet creator and executive producer Mike Fleiss says the fireworks of March 2 reflected the best, not the worst, of the genre. "I'm not really surprised by this; it's just a sign that the show is working," he tells TIME. "That's really your job, to create television that the whole country will sit down at one time and watch together. But honestly, I really don't see the difference between [Mesnick's]dumping Molly in New Zealand [at the finale] and then dumping Melissa in Glendale [at the special]."
Some would say the difference is that Malaney knew there was a chance she could get kicked off the show during the competition, while Rycroft's departure occurred long after she had been picked as the winner — and purportedly gotten engaged. But Fleiss insists that Mesnick's change of heart hardly came as a shock to the bride-to-be. In the weeks leading up to the reunion special, Fleiss says, he started to hear word from other producers on the show that Rycroft and Mesnick were not getting along. Two weeks before the reunion, Fleiss says, he heard that Mesnick might be interested again in Malaney — whom Fleiss had already approached about taking part in the next season of The Bachelorette.
All of which set the stage for the most unpredictable "After the Final Rose" event in the show's history. Opting to film the show without a live audience for secrecy reasons, and unsure of how Malaney would respond to Mesnick's renewed affections, Fleiss says there was plenty of uncertainty when cameras started rolling — just not when it came to Rycroft. "She knew they were essentially finished before walking out on that stage," he says. "But still, doing it for real and making it official and handing back the ring brought out real emotions."
In various interviews, as well as in e-mails between Mesnick and Rycroft that were leaked to the press, Mesnick has blamed the production crew for some of the emotional fallout surrounding his ultimate choice of Malaney, saying he was obligated to dump Rycroft in front of the cameras. But Fleiss says that's only half the story. "We didn't want Jason to necessarily spill the beans prior to taping, to keep it as real and raw as possible," he says. "But he's a good guy and didn't conceal anything. He let her know before that show that he didn't think this relationship was going to work."
Fleiss seems to be basking in the buzz of the past week ("It's the first time in a long time that people have something to talk about other than the stock market"). He also believes the emotional outcry that has accompanied the show's dénouement points to a passion that a new wave of reality-TV contestants is inspiring. At one time, he says, it was next to impossible to recruit plausible contestants, or even hosts, for reality-TV projects. But as the genre has become increasingly mainstream, producers have been able to find people who are more than mere exhibitionists.
And with this new pool of talent, Fleiss says, the emotions involved have become more complicated — and engaging. "Believe me, I've seen Bachelor couples stay together who really didn't care about each other," he says. "Some of them feel an obligation to the show to try to be a couple, since we spent literally millions of dollars as their matchmakers and sent them all over the world."
But rather than playing to the expectations of producers or viewers, says Fleiss, Mesnick dared to reveal his true emotions and to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that love is not always a programmable enterprise. "More than any other bachelor in history, he was committed to love and to truly following his heart, even though he knew he was going to have to go through hell to do it," Fleiss says. "It's really a romantic notion, that he sacrificed chunks of his popularity to at least try to be with the woman he loved."
Reid on local Philly TV news story
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/index
Here's your daily dose of RR from the TR site. When the media player loads, select the #10 video at the bottom of the box "Life After Reality TV".
Happy Halloween!
Friday, October 30, 2009
The Obamas' Marriage
Disclaimer: I apologize to any non-BO fans. However, I thought this topic might allow for very interesting discussions about marriage, everyday stress, and character. A nice change of pace from the recent slew of Reid-love :)
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/01/magazine/01Obama-t.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/01/magazine/01Obama-t.html
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Regis & Kelly`s take on the Bachelor
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/6303106/16355378
A sneak peak from their Halloween show....
A sneak peak from their Halloween show....
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Going public
It seems like we're down to just a handful of regular bloggers. Since most of us seem to be on deck about returning to the public setup, might we make the switch?
I'm getting lost in trying to follow-up comments.
Hugs,
Leen
I'm getting lost in trying to follow-up comments.
Hugs,
Leen
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Happy Birthday, Papa Jim
We love you to bits and pieces. May you be blessed with 50 more years of life and love.
Hugs,
Leen
Hugs,
Leen
Jill Beland of BTv + the guys
Here's an update on the Calgary show. She frequently quotes Reid. I think she has a monster-crush a la Leen. And, for Nash, if she's out there in the ether, guess what song's playing? "It's rainin', oooh, baby, it's rainin'. Come here to me." ;)
http://blogs.btcalgary.ca/jill
http://blogs.btcalgary.ca/jill
New Reid pix
The best I could do right now is to post the Twitter page that has the shots. Just scroll through the page and click on any link that starts with "yfrog".
There are more I'm sure, but they're VERY slow coming in.
http://twitter.com/MollyFaraday
There are more I'm sure, but they're VERY slow coming in.
http://twitter.com/MollyFaraday
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Another attendant's account of Reid
Patti from the DH thread did major PI on this event. Here's a report from someone she connected with who attended the event.
Keeva October 25 at 12:27am Report
yeah he does want to return to a normal life. he was asked if he was approached to be the next bachelor and he said he was but he turned it down because the fame is just getting tremendously hard to deal with and he said he doesnt want that forever and the bachelor just wasnt for him. he was sort of quiet he blamed it on his hangover haha. they basically were just goofing around the whole time not being toooo serios but he said he has some other things in the works, wont do any more reality tv but he has some projects having to do with real estate on the go . He was asked if there was any improper portrayel of his character on the show and he said that he wished he didnt look so readily available to get down on one knee but that the bachelorette did a really good job of speeding up the dating process by isolating you from the world so you're feeling those types of feelings in 8 weeks but to them it seems like a year. he said he saw jillian once in NY and it was really awkward but turned out ok but he hasnt kept in touch with her since then. i think thats all i remember ! ill e-mail u the pics tommorow !
Keeva October 25 at 12:27am Report
yeah he does want to return to a normal life. he was asked if he was approached to be the next bachelor and he said he was but he turned it down because the fame is just getting tremendously hard to deal with and he said he doesnt want that forever and the bachelor just wasnt for him. he was sort of quiet he blamed it on his hangover haha. they basically were just goofing around the whole time not being toooo serios but he said he has some other things in the works, wont do any more reality tv but he has some projects having to do with real estate on the go . He was asked if there was any improper portrayel of his character on the show and he said that he wished he didnt look so readily available to get down on one knee but that the bachelorette did a really good job of speeding up the dating process by isolating you from the world so you're feeling those types of feelings in 8 weeks but to them it seems like a year. he said he saw jillian once in NY and it was really awkward but turned out ok but he hasnt kept in touch with her since then. i think thats all i remember ! ill e-mail u the pics tommorow !
Reid, Kiptyn, Jesse and Michael up close in Calgary
Wish I could have met them today when they were in Calgary to make an appearance at the Calgary Women's Show. Instead, I've copied and pasted a post from someone named "M" (!) in Calgary. She met them today and this is what she posted on the Bachboard. Interesting observations.
"I just got back from Calgary's Women Show and had the chance to meet the "boys". I must say that they are four very ordinary looking men, they are all about 5'9, Kiptyn just a little taller maybe 5'10. Not gorgeous or anything like that.
Michael is really funny and a chatter box, and so is Jesse. Reid and Kiptyn...not so much. Reid was asked why he turned down The Bachelor and he said that he couldn't see himself being "that guy" for the rest of his life, he did say however, that being on the Bachelorette was a PR bonanza for his business and that he is enjoying his 15 minutes but looking forward to returning to a more normal life. He is still single!
Kiptyn was offered the Bachelor but the "negotiations broke down", whatever that means. He said that he couldn't elaborate due to contractual reasons. Reid, Kiptyn and Michael went on the show to find love...Jesse "for the experience". If you ask me he went on the show for publicity for his winery.
Michael said that he might marry Holly Hurst and that he is crazy in love. They are loving Calgary so much that they cancelled their trip to Banff tomorrow so that they could spend another night partying here. Michael said when Jillian found out they were coming to Calgary, she put them in touch with her friends here and they have been taking care of them and that they were awesome.
Reid and Kiptyn came across as really shy and very careful about what they said, Jesse and Michael just "let it all hung out"! They were telling stories that were quite off colour and they were both making fun of Jake. Reid and Kiptyn were kinder and more generous when they were asked about Jake."
"I just got back from Calgary's Women Show and had the chance to meet the "boys". I must say that they are four very ordinary looking men, they are all about 5'9, Kiptyn just a little taller maybe 5'10. Not gorgeous or anything like that.
Michael is really funny and a chatter box, and so is Jesse. Reid and Kiptyn...not so much. Reid was asked why he turned down The Bachelor and he said that he couldn't see himself being "that guy" for the rest of his life, he did say however, that being on the Bachelorette was a PR bonanza for his business and that he is enjoying his 15 minutes but looking forward to returning to a more normal life. He is still single!
Kiptyn was offered the Bachelor but the "negotiations broke down", whatever that means. He said that he couldn't elaborate due to contractual reasons. Reid, Kiptyn and Michael went on the show to find love...Jesse "for the experience". If you ask me he went on the show for publicity for his winery.
Michael said that he might marry Holly Hurst and that he is crazy in love. They are loving Calgary so much that they cancelled their trip to Banff tomorrow so that they could spend another night partying here. Michael said when Jillian found out they were coming to Calgary, she put them in touch with her friends here and they have been taking care of them and that they were awesome.
Reid and Kiptyn came across as really shy and very careful about what they said, Jesse and Michael just "let it all hung out"! They were telling stories that were quite off colour and they were both making fun of Jake. Reid and Kiptyn were kinder and more generous when they were asked about Jake."
Friday, October 23, 2009
A movie I saw by accident... and loved!
It came out in December 2008 and didn't attract my attention. Then, just the other day, I happened to see it playing on my HBO movie channel and decided to watch.
At first glance, it's about as far away from the type of movie I like. But "The Wrestler" with Mickey Rourke (last movie of his I saw was "9 1/2 Weeks" in the '80s) and Marisa Tomei (hugely underrated, in my opinion), made me chuckle, made me cry, made me feel.
If you've already seen it, let me know what you thought. If you haven't, find it on the movie channel or rent the DVD. It's worth it.
Here's what EW magazine (who gave it an 'A' rating) had to say about it. I quite agree:
"Certain movies about losers have a special, desperately moving appeal. By showing us men whose lives have fallen dramatically short of their dreams, they speak to — and for — all of us.
Darren Aronofsky’s "The Wrestler", with Mickey Rourke as a broken-down professional wrestling star still clinging to his glory days from the 1980s, could touch a chord in audiences the way On the Waterfront and Rocky did. It has that kind of lyrical humanity.
Aronofsky doesn't speak a sentimental cinematic language. Shooting in a grainy, bare-bones naturalistic style, full of jump cuts and raw light and a handheld camera whooshing about, the director of "Requiem for a Dream" and "The Fountain" now strips away all frills, tapping a classic Hollywood myth — a has-been looking for redemption — and, at the same time, transcending that myth. The Wrestler is like Rocky made by the Scorsese of Mean Streets.
It's the rare movie fairy tale that's also a bravura work of art."
At first glance, it's about as far away from the type of movie I like. But "The Wrestler" with Mickey Rourke (last movie of his I saw was "9 1/2 Weeks" in the '80s) and Marisa Tomei (hugely underrated, in my opinion), made me chuckle, made me cry, made me feel.
If you've already seen it, let me know what you thought. If you haven't, find it on the movie channel or rent the DVD. It's worth it.
Here's what EW magazine (who gave it an 'A' rating) had to say about it. I quite agree:
"Certain movies about losers have a special, desperately moving appeal. By showing us men whose lives have fallen dramatically short of their dreams, they speak to — and for — all of us.
Darren Aronofsky’s "The Wrestler", with Mickey Rourke as a broken-down professional wrestling star still clinging to his glory days from the 1980s, could touch a chord in audiences the way On the Waterfront and Rocky did. It has that kind of lyrical humanity.
Aronofsky doesn't speak a sentimental cinematic language. Shooting in a grainy, bare-bones naturalistic style, full of jump cuts and raw light and a handheld camera whooshing about, the director of "Requiem for a Dream" and "The Fountain" now strips away all frills, tapping a classic Hollywood myth — a has-been looking for redemption — and, at the same time, transcending that myth. The Wrestler is like Rocky made by the Scorsese of Mean Streets.
It's the rare movie fairy tale that's also a bravura work of art."
Book suggestion: The Magician's Elephant, by Kate DiCamillo
I LOVE children's literature. It's instructive while never losing imagination and understanding.
With the holiday season upon us, perhaps I'll leave some cool gift ideas for kids as I stumble upon them.
This book is definitely one of them:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113968070
With the holiday season upon us, perhaps I'll leave some cool gift ideas for kids as I stumble upon them.
This book is definitely one of them:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113968070
Jillain on Jake as The Bachelor
Bachelorette Jillian Harris has claimed that former suitor Jake Pavelka will make an "interesting" Bachelor.
ABC recently confirmed that the Dallas pilot will front the new season of the show when it returns next year.
Speaking to People, she said:"I think he's going to make an interesting Bachelor. He's definitely got a lot of emotion so I think he'll be very fun to watch."
Harris rejected Pavelka during her stint on The Bachelorette last year in favour of fellow contestant and current fiancé Ed Swiderski.
"We're obviously so supportive of anyone who's a part of that whole family," she added. "But it's very strange.
"You don't think of them as exes but it's also a bit sensitive. I think everyone that was there was there looking for something different but I think they all genuinely deserved to find somebody special."
Leen writes:
Huh, what will she think when Reid and Kip move on given that she seemed to forge a much deeper bond with them than compared to Jake?
At least they drank the Tequila!
Seems JED is being invited to appear at promotional events in Chicago these days.
When recently at the opening of a Victoria Secret, they both, rather gauchely, proclaimed that "no bra, no panties" was the preferred dress code.
A bit of a slap in the face to the huge women's lingerie chain they were supposedly there to promote.
Shortly after that, they were seen at a party hosted by Corzo restaurant. Apparently, they didn't have any trouble enjoying the promotional products this time: tempura and tequila.
The two articles from People magazine are below:
Bachelorette’s Jillian & Ed: Panty-Free Is the Way to Be!
October 22, 2009
The Bachelorette’s Jillian Harris and her fiancé Ed Swiderski stepped out Wednesday to pick up some sexy unmentionables at the new Victoria’s Secret store on Chicago’s Michigan Avenue because, she says, “I feel like I’m a little down on my lingerie collection.”
Not that Ed is complaining. When asked what he thinks is the sexiest thing a woman could wear, he responded, “No panties.” Jillian gave a similar answer, claiming she thought “no bra” was the sexiest way to go.
Caught in the Act!
Friday October 23, 2009
Ed Swiderski and Jillian Harris
Even after other dinner guests started to trickle out, Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski stuck around late at new Chicago Asian eatery Sunday drinking tequila and chatting with the restaurant's owner. The couple attended a Corzo-hosted private party – in the restaurant's back room – and shared sushi and rock shrimp tempura with their friends. Earlier this week, Harris and Swiderski celebrated the opening of a new Victoria's Secret store on Chicago's Michigan Avenue.
When recently at the opening of a Victoria Secret, they both, rather gauchely, proclaimed that "no bra, no panties" was the preferred dress code.
A bit of a slap in the face to the huge women's lingerie chain they were supposedly there to promote.
Shortly after that, they were seen at a party hosted by Corzo restaurant. Apparently, they didn't have any trouble enjoying the promotional products this time: tempura and tequila.
The two articles from People magazine are below:
Bachelorette’s Jillian & Ed: Panty-Free Is the Way to Be!
October 22, 2009
The Bachelorette’s Jillian Harris and her fiancé Ed Swiderski stepped out Wednesday to pick up some sexy unmentionables at the new Victoria’s Secret store on Chicago’s Michigan Avenue because, she says, “I feel like I’m a little down on my lingerie collection.”
Not that Ed is complaining. When asked what he thinks is the sexiest thing a woman could wear, he responded, “No panties.” Jillian gave a similar answer, claiming she thought “no bra” was the sexiest way to go.
Caught in the Act!
Friday October 23, 2009
Ed Swiderski and Jillian Harris
Even after other dinner guests started to trickle out, Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski stuck around late at new Chicago Asian eatery Sunday drinking tequila and chatting with the restaurant's owner. The couple attended a Corzo-hosted private party – in the restaurant's back room – and shared sushi and rock shrimp tempura with their friends. Earlier this week, Harris and Swiderski celebrated the opening of a new Victoria's Secret store on Chicago's Michigan Avenue.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Jason is engaged
In case anyone cares Jason is engaged to Molly. Melissa was on GMA today talking about her wedding. I guess everyone has moved on and is happy. I wish all of them well.
HCM
Mel
HCM
Mel
Monday, October 19, 2009
Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)
How sex works
An expert's guide to the birds and the bees
By Tom Spears, The Ottawa Citizen newspaper, Oct 2009
Evolution has done odd things to humans in the name of continuing the species. It makes us go through emotional agony, act like fools, and spend huge amounts of time, effort and money chasing after prospective partners. And even finding Mr. or Ms. Right doesn't end the comedy of errors.
Sharon Moalem, a Canadian physiologist with a specialty in neurogenetics and evolutionary medicine, now practising in New York, has chased down the reasons for all the sexual things humans do. In fact, the title could equally have been "Why Sex Works" rather than "How." After all, if, for the benefit of some visitor from another planet, you wrote down the things men and women do, the alien's first question might well be: "Why?"
"You want to know what the magic ingredient to a good sex life is? Understanding," Moalem writes.
His goal (Sharon is a man's name in this case) is to lead the reader through the current state of research on sex and its many facets: Why many women report increased enjoyment of orgasms during pregnancy; why babies of women with HIV are more often born without the infection; how birth control pills work; why sperm cells are tiny models of amazing biological efficiency; how important cranberries are. (Short answer on cranberries: Very. If you don't get this, ask a woman.)
The start may be a bit slow to some. Moalem doesn't lead off with the newest revelations. Instead, he goes through a sort of academic boot camp: Laying down the groundwork, breaking up any misconceptions the reader may have had through two chapters on human sexual machinery (one chapter on women, one on men). In particular, how the machines work, and what sometimes breaks down, or even breaks apart, literally. This is not all fun stuff.
So fine, you have a lecture from an authority on how body parts form, mature and work.
You might be pardoned for getting to the point where nitrogen oxide works as a vasodilator to make blood flow change in passionate moments and thinking: Is that it? A book on physiology?
Luckily, it is much more.
Sex is perhaps the oldest preoccupation for humans, but there has been a great deal of discovery about it in modern times. Those willing to give Moalem time to warm to the subject are in for some revelations. Much of it deals with the mysterious, subconscious features that have evolved in humans to persuade us to go forth and multiply. For example:
- Women behave differently during ovulation. In a psychology experiment, volunteers were asked to look through photos of women, and determine which of them were trying hardest to look attractive. The faces in the photos were blanked out; all they had to go on was clothing, jewelry, and body language. Yet the volunteers -- men and women alike -- consistently decided that the women trying to look attractive were the ones who in fact had been ovulating when the photos were shot.
Oh, and women are more likely to cheat on a partner when they're ovulating.
"It's almost as if women are looking to mate when they're ovulating, but (looking) for a mate when they're not," Moalem concludes.
So why should we want to know this? To understand how evolution plays with our brains and bodies, he argues. "What you want may not be entirely up to you. But what you do about it is."
- Smell is an area of research in the sex business. Scientists ask volunteers to sniff clothing worn by men or women, gay or straight, and tell which smells they find attractive. I'm skipping the methodology, but one fact that emerges from this is that the man or woman who smells attractive to us is often the one whose genes differ from our own.
This matters to our health. Small groups of people who mix the same genes over and over develop gene pools that lack robustness. Shuffling the genetic deck is essential to humans. It may be what sex is for, mainly. And it turns out that we tend not to like the smell of someone with genes that resemble our own. Our noses are waving a red flag saying: Keep away, for the sake of your babies' health; in particular, for the sake of their immune systems.
An exception: Your family members generally don't smell repulsive to you. They may even smell reassuring, pleasant, safe. But they don't smell attractive in a sexual way.
- Penises can break, though rarely. Penile fracture, it's called. Seems easy enough to diagnose: "There can be a loud cracking or popping sound, and serious pain." The doctor ran across his first case when a man tried to get excited with a vacuum cleaner that was, and this is not a metaphor, turned on. Had trouble urinating afterward, let alone getting excited.
- Orgasm in women seems to have more to do with the mind than the body. It's "not just an automatic bodily response to sexual stimulation," say the researchers. It's emotional, and as closely connected to a woman's feelings for her partner as to her body.
- Some forms of attraction cross all cultural barriers. A surprising one: The more symmetrical a face is, the more the people will be attracted to it. Which makes evolutionary sense, since symmetry in a face is often linked with good health, and choosing a healthy partner is good for survival of the species.
- And a shocker: Women can have fraternal (non-identical) twins by different fathers. A woman who releases two eggs cells at once, and has sex with two men, can find that the two egg cells are fertilizes by different men. Genetically, these kids are half-siblings.
"One paper suggested that one in 400 pairs of fraternal twins born to white married women in the United States may actually have different fathers," he notes.
- Other topics: Teledildonics allows a person to manipulate a distant partner's sex toy via the Internet.
- Women ejaculate too.
- Pubic lice become rare in countries where Brazilian-style waxing is in vogue.
- There's a reason for women to prefer dark men: They're less like to have sperm damage from UV light.
- Breast-feeding can act as birth control, but it's risky.
- One in five American high school girls don't know how HIV is transmitted.
Moalem is used to writing for general audiences, so don't let that PhD deter you. The tone here is mostly serious but simple, down-to-earth, as conversational as a good family doctor, even though the content is rigorously academic. Moalem is used to writing for general media, and appearing on TV. It shows; he is not flippant but highly readable.
This is still a book to make us uncomfortable at times. Sex is not a simple world, and politics is not the only field that sees strange bedfellows. Yet most of us have seldom had access to learning of this kind. If we think we know the latest details on sexually transmitted infections, or pheromones, or hormones, or subconscious desires and choices, we're most likely wrong.
In light of that, it could be time for a refresher course.
An expert's guide to the birds and the bees
By Tom Spears, The Ottawa Citizen newspaper, Oct 2009
Evolution has done odd things to humans in the name of continuing the species. It makes us go through emotional agony, act like fools, and spend huge amounts of time, effort and money chasing after prospective partners. And even finding Mr. or Ms. Right doesn't end the comedy of errors.
Sharon Moalem, a Canadian physiologist with a specialty in neurogenetics and evolutionary medicine, now practising in New York, has chased down the reasons for all the sexual things humans do. In fact, the title could equally have been "Why Sex Works" rather than "How." After all, if, for the benefit of some visitor from another planet, you wrote down the things men and women do, the alien's first question might well be: "Why?"
"You want to know what the magic ingredient to a good sex life is? Understanding," Moalem writes.
His goal (Sharon is a man's name in this case) is to lead the reader through the current state of research on sex and its many facets: Why many women report increased enjoyment of orgasms during pregnancy; why babies of women with HIV are more often born without the infection; how birth control pills work; why sperm cells are tiny models of amazing biological efficiency; how important cranberries are. (Short answer on cranberries: Very. If you don't get this, ask a woman.)
The start may be a bit slow to some. Moalem doesn't lead off with the newest revelations. Instead, he goes through a sort of academic boot camp: Laying down the groundwork, breaking up any misconceptions the reader may have had through two chapters on human sexual machinery (one chapter on women, one on men). In particular, how the machines work, and what sometimes breaks down, or even breaks apart, literally. This is not all fun stuff.
So fine, you have a lecture from an authority on how body parts form, mature and work.
You might be pardoned for getting to the point where nitrogen oxide works as a vasodilator to make blood flow change in passionate moments and thinking: Is that it? A book on physiology?
Luckily, it is much more.
Sex is perhaps the oldest preoccupation for humans, but there has been a great deal of discovery about it in modern times. Those willing to give Moalem time to warm to the subject are in for some revelations. Much of it deals with the mysterious, subconscious features that have evolved in humans to persuade us to go forth and multiply. For example:
- Women behave differently during ovulation. In a psychology experiment, volunteers were asked to look through photos of women, and determine which of them were trying hardest to look attractive. The faces in the photos were blanked out; all they had to go on was clothing, jewelry, and body language. Yet the volunteers -- men and women alike -- consistently decided that the women trying to look attractive were the ones who in fact had been ovulating when the photos were shot.
Oh, and women are more likely to cheat on a partner when they're ovulating.
"It's almost as if women are looking to mate when they're ovulating, but (looking) for a mate when they're not," Moalem concludes.
So why should we want to know this? To understand how evolution plays with our brains and bodies, he argues. "What you want may not be entirely up to you. But what you do about it is."
- Smell is an area of research in the sex business. Scientists ask volunteers to sniff clothing worn by men or women, gay or straight, and tell which smells they find attractive. I'm skipping the methodology, but one fact that emerges from this is that the man or woman who smells attractive to us is often the one whose genes differ from our own.
This matters to our health. Small groups of people who mix the same genes over and over develop gene pools that lack robustness. Shuffling the genetic deck is essential to humans. It may be what sex is for, mainly. And it turns out that we tend not to like the smell of someone with genes that resemble our own. Our noses are waving a red flag saying: Keep away, for the sake of your babies' health; in particular, for the sake of their immune systems.
An exception: Your family members generally don't smell repulsive to you. They may even smell reassuring, pleasant, safe. But they don't smell attractive in a sexual way.
- Penises can break, though rarely. Penile fracture, it's called. Seems easy enough to diagnose: "There can be a loud cracking or popping sound, and serious pain." The doctor ran across his first case when a man tried to get excited with a vacuum cleaner that was, and this is not a metaphor, turned on. Had trouble urinating afterward, let alone getting excited.
- Orgasm in women seems to have more to do with the mind than the body. It's "not just an automatic bodily response to sexual stimulation," say the researchers. It's emotional, and as closely connected to a woman's feelings for her partner as to her body.
- Some forms of attraction cross all cultural barriers. A surprising one: The more symmetrical a face is, the more the people will be attracted to it. Which makes evolutionary sense, since symmetry in a face is often linked with good health, and choosing a healthy partner is good for survival of the species.
- And a shocker: Women can have fraternal (non-identical) twins by different fathers. A woman who releases two eggs cells at once, and has sex with two men, can find that the two egg cells are fertilizes by different men. Genetically, these kids are half-siblings.
"One paper suggested that one in 400 pairs of fraternal twins born to white married women in the United States may actually have different fathers," he notes.
- Other topics: Teledildonics allows a person to manipulate a distant partner's sex toy via the Internet.
- Women ejaculate too.
- Pubic lice become rare in countries where Brazilian-style waxing is in vogue.
- There's a reason for women to prefer dark men: They're less like to have sperm damage from UV light.
- Breast-feeding can act as birth control, but it's risky.
- One in five American high school girls don't know how HIV is transmitted.
Moalem is used to writing for general audiences, so don't let that PhD deter you. The tone here is mostly serious but simple, down-to-earth, as conversational as a good family doctor, even though the content is rigorously academic. Moalem is used to writing for general media, and appearing on TV. It shows; he is not flippant but highly readable.
This is still a book to make us uncomfortable at times. Sex is not a simple world, and politics is not the only field that sees strange bedfellows. Yet most of us have seldom had access to learning of this kind. If we think we know the latest details on sexually transmitted infections, or pheromones, or hormones, or subconscious desires and choices, we're most likely wrong.
In light of that, it could be time for a refresher course.
Are all men potential rapists? Come on!!!
Vancouver sex attack leads to debate over men in society
By Ethan Baron, The Province newspaper, October 19, 2009
Are all men potential rapists?
That’s a claim by Aurea Flynn, speaking for Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter, in the wake of a brutal sexual attack this weekend on a 24-year-old woman in Vancouver’s upscale West Point Grey.
I spent about 20 minutes Monday talking to Flynn about rape, and agreed with nearly everything she said.
Rape is about power and control, domination by a man over a woman — check.
Sexual assault is so widespread that one in four Canadian women will experience it — check. Men need to speak out against violence against women, because our gender is to blame — check.
But I am not a potential rapist, and I don’t think Flynn’s claim is in any way helpful.
Painting all men with the same brush greatly hampers the co-operation between genders that’s needed to properly address our epidemic sexual violence.
I get where Flynn is coming from.
The fact that the threat of male violence restricts the freedom of women, and keeps them living with a constant undercurrent of fear is profoundly unjust.
Sexual attacks cause life-long damage. And far too many of my gender believe that women are lesser beings than men, that their rights in every area are somehow subservient to ours.
We should all be as angry as Flynn.
But the approach of Stephanie Reifferscheid of Vancouver’s Women Against Violence Against Women Rape Crisis Centre makes a great deal more sense.
“All men have the capacity to be loving, caring, respectful human beings,” Reifferscheid says. Sadly, many men fail to exercise that capacity.
Rapes by acquaintances, and sexual violence within relationships occur much more frequently than stranger attacks such as the one Sunday in which the man repeatedly punched then sexually assaulted a woman out walking.
But all varieties of sexual violence reflect “a sense of entitlement towards women and women’s bodies,” Reifferscheid says.
It was only in the 1980s that it became illegal for Canadian men to rape their wives, she notes. Sexualization of women in the media leads them to be valued as objects of male gratification, rather than for the intellectual and professional abilities they share equally with men.
Not only does this devaluation hinder social and economic equality, it helps turn women into potential victims of the ultimate male power trip: rape.
Reifferscheid points out that while men commonly commit random physical, non-sexual attacks against other men, when a man is randomly attacking a woman, the violence is often sexual. The man is hitting her where, in his mind, her value rests: in her sexuality.
Men need to start paying more attention to the value we and our friends and associates put on women, and ensure that our words and actions do not reinforce the inequality between the sexes.
At a broader level, says Reifferscheid, politicians and policymakers must make women’s equality a central focus of governance, to set societal standards that put women on the same level as men. We men are not all potential rapists.
But we owe it to women to give them the value that is their due, as equals to men in every way — except perhaps when it comes to arm-wrestling and peeing your name in the snow.
By Ethan Baron, The Province newspaper, October 19, 2009
Are all men potential rapists?
That’s a claim by Aurea Flynn, speaking for Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter, in the wake of a brutal sexual attack this weekend on a 24-year-old woman in Vancouver’s upscale West Point Grey.
I spent about 20 minutes Monday talking to Flynn about rape, and agreed with nearly everything she said.
Rape is about power and control, domination by a man over a woman — check.
Sexual assault is so widespread that one in four Canadian women will experience it — check. Men need to speak out against violence against women, because our gender is to blame — check.
But I am not a potential rapist, and I don’t think Flynn’s claim is in any way helpful.
Painting all men with the same brush greatly hampers the co-operation between genders that’s needed to properly address our epidemic sexual violence.
I get where Flynn is coming from.
The fact that the threat of male violence restricts the freedom of women, and keeps them living with a constant undercurrent of fear is profoundly unjust.
Sexual attacks cause life-long damage. And far too many of my gender believe that women are lesser beings than men, that their rights in every area are somehow subservient to ours.
We should all be as angry as Flynn.
But the approach of Stephanie Reifferscheid of Vancouver’s Women Against Violence Against Women Rape Crisis Centre makes a great deal more sense.
“All men have the capacity to be loving, caring, respectful human beings,” Reifferscheid says. Sadly, many men fail to exercise that capacity.
Rapes by acquaintances, and sexual violence within relationships occur much more frequently than stranger attacks such as the one Sunday in which the man repeatedly punched then sexually assaulted a woman out walking.
But all varieties of sexual violence reflect “a sense of entitlement towards women and women’s bodies,” Reifferscheid says.
It was only in the 1980s that it became illegal for Canadian men to rape their wives, she notes. Sexualization of women in the media leads them to be valued as objects of male gratification, rather than for the intellectual and professional abilities they share equally with men.
Not only does this devaluation hinder social and economic equality, it helps turn women into potential victims of the ultimate male power trip: rape.
Reifferscheid points out that while men commonly commit random physical, non-sexual attacks against other men, when a man is randomly attacking a woman, the violence is often sexual. The man is hitting her where, in his mind, her value rests: in her sexuality.
Men need to start paying more attention to the value we and our friends and associates put on women, and ensure that our words and actions do not reinforce the inequality between the sexes.
At a broader level, says Reifferscheid, politicians and policymakers must make women’s equality a central focus of governance, to set societal standards that put women on the same level as men. We men are not all potential rapists.
But we owe it to women to give them the value that is their due, as equals to men in every way — except perhaps when it comes to arm-wrestling and peeing your name in the snow.
public vs. private
Is anyone against going public again just so we can reactivate that "recent comments" function on our gmail? Checking up on the entire list of the month's entries is wicked much to manage.
I'm up for going public again.
Post a comment with your opinion.
I'm up for going public again.
Post a comment with your opinion.
oranges
I couldn't resist how adorable they were. This vid makes me laugh and smile..BIG!
http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=14m6xsh&s=3
Sigh :)
http://tinypic.com/player.php?v=14m6xsh&s=3
Sigh :)
Sunday, October 18, 2009
What Women Want
What Women Want Now
By NANCY GIBBS, Time Magazine, Oct 2009
If you were a woman reading this magazine 40 years ago, the odds were good that your husband provided the money to buy it. That you voted the same way he did. That if you got breast cancer, he might be asked to sign the form authorizing a mastectomy. That your son was heading to college but not your daughter. That your boss, if you had a job, could explain that he was paying you less because, after all, you were probably working just for pocket money.
It's funny how things change slowly, until the day we realize they've changed completely. It's expected that by the end of the year, for the first time in history the majority of workers in the U.S. will be women — largely because the downturn has hit men so hard. This is an extraordinary change in a single generation, and it is gathering speed: the growth prospects, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, are in typically female jobs like nursing, retail and customer service. More and more women are the primary breadwinner in their household (almost 40%) or are providing essential income for the family's bottom line. Their buying power has never been greater — and their choices have seldom been harder.
It is in this context that the Rockefeller Foundation, in collaboration with TIME, conducted a landmark survey of gender issues to assess how individual Americans are reacting. Is the battle of the sexes really over, and if so, did anyone win? How do men now view female power? How much resentment or confusion or gratitude is there for the forces that have rearranged family life, rewired the economy and reinvented gender roles? And what, if anything, does everyone agree needs to happen to make all this work? The study found that men and women were in broad agreement about what matters most to them; gone is the notion that women's rise comes at men's expense. As the Old Economy dissolves and pressures on working parents grow, they share their fears about what this means for their children and their frustration with institutions that refuse to admit how much has changed. In the new age, the battles we fight together are the ones that define us.
A Quiet Revolution
In the spring of 1972, TIME devoted a special issue of the magazine to assessing the status of women in the throes of "women's lib." At a time when American society was racing through change like a reckless teenager, feminism had sputtered and stalled. Women's average wages had actually fallen relative to men's; there were fewer women in the top ranks of civil service (under 2%) than there were four years before. No woman had served in the Cabinet since the Eisenhower Administration; there were no female FBI agents or network-news anchors or Supreme Court Justices. The nation's campuses were busy hosting a social revolt, yet Harvard's tenured faculty of 421 included only six women. Of the Museum of Modern Art's 1,000 one-man shows over the previous 40 years, five were by women. Headhunters lamented that it was easier to put a man on the moon than a woman in a corner office. "There is no movement," complained an activist who resigned her leadership position in the National Organization for Women two years after it was founded. "Movement means 'going someplace,' and the movement is not going anywhere. It hasn't accomplished anything." (Read TIME's 1972 cover story "Where She Is and Where She's Going.")
That was cranky exaggeration; many changes were felt more than seen, a shift in hopes and expectations that cracked the foundations of patriarchy. "In terms of real power — economic and political — we are still just beginning," Gloria Steinem admitted. "But the consciousness, the awareness — that will never be the same."
So it's worth stopping to look at what happened while we were busy ending the Cold War and building a multicultural society and enjoying the longest economic expansion in history. In the slow-motion fumblings of family life, it was easy just to keep going along, mark the milestones, measure the kids on the kitchen door and miss the movement. In 1972 only 7% of students playing high school sports were girls; now the number is six times as high. The female dropout rate has fallen in half. College campuses used to be almost 60-40 male; now the ratio has reversed, and close to half of law and medical degrees go to women, up from fewer than 10% in 1970. Half the Ivy League presidents are women, and two of the three network anchors soon will be; three of the four most recent Secretaries of State have been women. There are more than 145 foundations designed to empower women around the world, in the belief that this is the greatest possible weapon against poverty and disease; there was only one major foundation (the Ms. Foundation) for women in 1972. For the first time, five women have won Nobel Prizes in the same year (for Medicine, Chemistry, Economics and Literature). We just came through an election year in which Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, Tina Fey and Katie Couric were lead players, not the supporting cast. And the President of the United States was raised by a single mother and married a lawyer who outranked and outearned him.
It is still true that boardrooms and faculty clubs and legislatures and whole swaths of professions like, say, hedge-fund management remain predominantly male; women are about 10% of civil engineers and a third of physicians and surgeons but 98% of kindergarten teachers and dental assistants, and they still earn 77 cents on the dollar compared with men. They are charged higher premiums for health insurance yet still have greater out-of-pocket expenses for things as basic as contraception and maternity care. At times it seems as if the only women effortlessly balancing their jobs, kids, husbands and homes are the ones on TV.
Now the recession raises the stakes and shuffles the deck. Poll after poll finds women even more anxious than men about their family's financial security. While most workers have seen their wages stall or drop, women's earnings fell 2% in 2008, twice as much as men's. Women are 32% more likely than men to have subprime mortgages, leaving them more vulnerable in the housing crisis. The Guttmacher Institute found that the downturn has affected the most basic decisions in family life. Nearly half of women surveyed in households earning less than $75,000 want to delay pregnancy or limit the number of children they have. At the same time, women are poised to emerge from the downturn with even greater relative economic power as the wage gap narrows. A new survey by GfK Roper for NBC Universal gives a whole new meaning to the power of the purse: 65% of women reported being their family's chief financial planner, and 71% called themselves the family accountant. According to a Mediamark Research & Intelligence survey, they make 75% of the buying decisions in American homes. Together, women control more wealth than ever in history.
Progress is seldom simple; it comes with costs and casualties, even challenges about whether a change represents an advance or a retreat. The TIME survey provides evidence of both. At the most basic level, the argument over where women belong is over; the battle of the sexes becomes a costume drama, like Middlemarch or Mad Men. Large majorities, across ages and incomes and ideologies, view women's growing role in the workforce as good for both the economy and society in general. More than 8 in 10 say mothers are just as productive at work as fathers or childless workers are. Even more, some 84% affirm that husbands and wives negotiate the rules, relationships and responsibilities more than those of earlier generations did; roughly 7 in 10 men say they are more comfortable than their fathers were with women working outside the home, while women say they are less financially dependent on their spouse than their mother was.
This is not to say there's nothing left to argue about. More than two-thirds of women still think men resent powerful women, yet women are more likely than men to say female bosses are harder to work for than male ones. Men are much more likely to say there are no longer any barriers to female advancement, while a majority of women say men still have it better in life. People are evenly split over whether the "mommy wars" between working and nonworking mothers are finally over.
But just as striking is how much men and women agree on issues that divided them a generation ago. "It happened so fast," writes Gail Collins in her new book, When Everything Changed, "that the revolution seemed to be over before either side could really find its way to the barricades." It's as though sensible people are too busy to bother bickering about who takes out the garbage or who deserves the corner office; many of the deepest conflicts are now ones that men and women share. Especially in the absence of social supports, flexible work arrangements and affordable child care, it's hardly surprising that a majority of both men and women still say it is best for children to have a father working and a mother at home. Among the most dramatic changes in the past generation is the detachment of marriage and motherhood; more men than women identified marriage as "very important" to their happiness. Women no longer view matrimony as a necessary station on the road to financial security or parenthood. The percentage of children born to single women has leaped from 12% to 39%. Whereas a majority of children in the mid-1970s were raised by a stay-at-home parent, the portion is now less than a third, and nearly two-thirds of people say this has been a negative for American society.
Among the most confounding changes of all is the evidence, tracked by numerous surveys, that as women have gained more freedom, more education and more economic power, they have become less happy. No tidy theory explains the trend, notes University of Pennsylvania economist Justin Wolfers, a co-author of The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness. "We looked across all sectors — young vs. old, kids or no kids, married or not married, education, no education, working or not working — and it stayed the same," he says of the data. "But there are a few ways to look at it," he adds. "As Susan Faludi said, the women's movement wasn't about happiness." It may be that women have become more honest about what ails them. Or that they are now free to wrestle with the same pressures and conflicts that once accounted for greater male unhappiness. Or that modern life in a global economy is simply more stressful for everyone but especially for women, who are working longer hours while playing quarterback at home. "Some of the other social changes that have happened over the last 35 years — changes in family, in the workplace — may have affected men differently than women," Wolfers says. "So maybe we're not learning about changes due to the women's movement but changes in society."
All the shapes in the puzzle are shifting. If there is anything like consensus on an issue as basic as how we live our lives as men and women, as lovers, parents, partners, it's that getting the pieces of modern life to fit together is hard enough; something has to bend. Equal numbers of men and women report frequent stress in daily life, and most agree that government and businesses have failed to adjust to the changes in the family. As the Old Economy dissolves before our eyes, men and women express remarkably similar life goals when asked about the importance of money, health, jobs and family. If male jobs keep vanishing, if physical strength loses its workplace value, if the premium shifts ever more to education, in which achievement is increasingly female, then we will soon be having parallel conversations: What needs to be done to free American men to realize their full potential? You can imagine the whole conversation flipping in a single generation.
It's no longer a man's world. Nor is it a woman's nation. It's a cooperative, with bylaws under constant negotiation and expectations that profits be equally shared.
By NANCY GIBBS, Time Magazine, Oct 2009
If you were a woman reading this magazine 40 years ago, the odds were good that your husband provided the money to buy it. That you voted the same way he did. That if you got breast cancer, he might be asked to sign the form authorizing a mastectomy. That your son was heading to college but not your daughter. That your boss, if you had a job, could explain that he was paying you less because, after all, you were probably working just for pocket money.
It's funny how things change slowly, until the day we realize they've changed completely. It's expected that by the end of the year, for the first time in history the majority of workers in the U.S. will be women — largely because the downturn has hit men so hard. This is an extraordinary change in a single generation, and it is gathering speed: the growth prospects, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, are in typically female jobs like nursing, retail and customer service. More and more women are the primary breadwinner in their household (almost 40%) or are providing essential income for the family's bottom line. Their buying power has never been greater — and their choices have seldom been harder.
It is in this context that the Rockefeller Foundation, in collaboration with TIME, conducted a landmark survey of gender issues to assess how individual Americans are reacting. Is the battle of the sexes really over, and if so, did anyone win? How do men now view female power? How much resentment or confusion or gratitude is there for the forces that have rearranged family life, rewired the economy and reinvented gender roles? And what, if anything, does everyone agree needs to happen to make all this work? The study found that men and women were in broad agreement about what matters most to them; gone is the notion that women's rise comes at men's expense. As the Old Economy dissolves and pressures on working parents grow, they share their fears about what this means for their children and their frustration with institutions that refuse to admit how much has changed. In the new age, the battles we fight together are the ones that define us.
A Quiet Revolution
In the spring of 1972, TIME devoted a special issue of the magazine to assessing the status of women in the throes of "women's lib." At a time when American society was racing through change like a reckless teenager, feminism had sputtered and stalled. Women's average wages had actually fallen relative to men's; there were fewer women in the top ranks of civil service (under 2%) than there were four years before. No woman had served in the Cabinet since the Eisenhower Administration; there were no female FBI agents or network-news anchors or Supreme Court Justices. The nation's campuses were busy hosting a social revolt, yet Harvard's tenured faculty of 421 included only six women. Of the Museum of Modern Art's 1,000 one-man shows over the previous 40 years, five were by women. Headhunters lamented that it was easier to put a man on the moon than a woman in a corner office. "There is no movement," complained an activist who resigned her leadership position in the National Organization for Women two years after it was founded. "Movement means 'going someplace,' and the movement is not going anywhere. It hasn't accomplished anything." (Read TIME's 1972 cover story "Where She Is and Where She's Going.")
That was cranky exaggeration; many changes were felt more than seen, a shift in hopes and expectations that cracked the foundations of patriarchy. "In terms of real power — economic and political — we are still just beginning," Gloria Steinem admitted. "But the consciousness, the awareness — that will never be the same."
So it's worth stopping to look at what happened while we were busy ending the Cold War and building a multicultural society and enjoying the longest economic expansion in history. In the slow-motion fumblings of family life, it was easy just to keep going along, mark the milestones, measure the kids on the kitchen door and miss the movement. In 1972 only 7% of students playing high school sports were girls; now the number is six times as high. The female dropout rate has fallen in half. College campuses used to be almost 60-40 male; now the ratio has reversed, and close to half of law and medical degrees go to women, up from fewer than 10% in 1970. Half the Ivy League presidents are women, and two of the three network anchors soon will be; three of the four most recent Secretaries of State have been women. There are more than 145 foundations designed to empower women around the world, in the belief that this is the greatest possible weapon against poverty and disease; there was only one major foundation (the Ms. Foundation) for women in 1972. For the first time, five women have won Nobel Prizes in the same year (for Medicine, Chemistry, Economics and Literature). We just came through an election year in which Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, Tina Fey and Katie Couric were lead players, not the supporting cast. And the President of the United States was raised by a single mother and married a lawyer who outranked and outearned him.
It is still true that boardrooms and faculty clubs and legislatures and whole swaths of professions like, say, hedge-fund management remain predominantly male; women are about 10% of civil engineers and a third of physicians and surgeons but 98% of kindergarten teachers and dental assistants, and they still earn 77 cents on the dollar compared with men. They are charged higher premiums for health insurance yet still have greater out-of-pocket expenses for things as basic as contraception and maternity care. At times it seems as if the only women effortlessly balancing their jobs, kids, husbands and homes are the ones on TV.
Now the recession raises the stakes and shuffles the deck. Poll after poll finds women even more anxious than men about their family's financial security. While most workers have seen their wages stall or drop, women's earnings fell 2% in 2008, twice as much as men's. Women are 32% more likely than men to have subprime mortgages, leaving them more vulnerable in the housing crisis. The Guttmacher Institute found that the downturn has affected the most basic decisions in family life. Nearly half of women surveyed in households earning less than $75,000 want to delay pregnancy or limit the number of children they have. At the same time, women are poised to emerge from the downturn with even greater relative economic power as the wage gap narrows. A new survey by GfK Roper for NBC Universal gives a whole new meaning to the power of the purse: 65% of women reported being their family's chief financial planner, and 71% called themselves the family accountant. According to a Mediamark Research & Intelligence survey, they make 75% of the buying decisions in American homes. Together, women control more wealth than ever in history.
Progress is seldom simple; it comes with costs and casualties, even challenges about whether a change represents an advance or a retreat. The TIME survey provides evidence of both. At the most basic level, the argument over where women belong is over; the battle of the sexes becomes a costume drama, like Middlemarch or Mad Men. Large majorities, across ages and incomes and ideologies, view women's growing role in the workforce as good for both the economy and society in general. More than 8 in 10 say mothers are just as productive at work as fathers or childless workers are. Even more, some 84% affirm that husbands and wives negotiate the rules, relationships and responsibilities more than those of earlier generations did; roughly 7 in 10 men say they are more comfortable than their fathers were with women working outside the home, while women say they are less financially dependent on their spouse than their mother was.
This is not to say there's nothing left to argue about. More than two-thirds of women still think men resent powerful women, yet women are more likely than men to say female bosses are harder to work for than male ones. Men are much more likely to say there are no longer any barriers to female advancement, while a majority of women say men still have it better in life. People are evenly split over whether the "mommy wars" between working and nonworking mothers are finally over.
But just as striking is how much men and women agree on issues that divided them a generation ago. "It happened so fast," writes Gail Collins in her new book, When Everything Changed, "that the revolution seemed to be over before either side could really find its way to the barricades." It's as though sensible people are too busy to bother bickering about who takes out the garbage or who deserves the corner office; many of the deepest conflicts are now ones that men and women share. Especially in the absence of social supports, flexible work arrangements and affordable child care, it's hardly surprising that a majority of both men and women still say it is best for children to have a father working and a mother at home. Among the most dramatic changes in the past generation is the detachment of marriage and motherhood; more men than women identified marriage as "very important" to their happiness. Women no longer view matrimony as a necessary station on the road to financial security or parenthood. The percentage of children born to single women has leaped from 12% to 39%. Whereas a majority of children in the mid-1970s were raised by a stay-at-home parent, the portion is now less than a third, and nearly two-thirds of people say this has been a negative for American society.
Among the most confounding changes of all is the evidence, tracked by numerous surveys, that as women have gained more freedom, more education and more economic power, they have become less happy. No tidy theory explains the trend, notes University of Pennsylvania economist Justin Wolfers, a co-author of The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness. "We looked across all sectors — young vs. old, kids or no kids, married or not married, education, no education, working or not working — and it stayed the same," he says of the data. "But there are a few ways to look at it," he adds. "As Susan Faludi said, the women's movement wasn't about happiness." It may be that women have become more honest about what ails them. Or that they are now free to wrestle with the same pressures and conflicts that once accounted for greater male unhappiness. Or that modern life in a global economy is simply more stressful for everyone but especially for women, who are working longer hours while playing quarterback at home. "Some of the other social changes that have happened over the last 35 years — changes in family, in the workplace — may have affected men differently than women," Wolfers says. "So maybe we're not learning about changes due to the women's movement but changes in society."
All the shapes in the puzzle are shifting. If there is anything like consensus on an issue as basic as how we live our lives as men and women, as lovers, parents, partners, it's that getting the pieces of modern life to fit together is hard enough; something has to bend. Equal numbers of men and women report frequent stress in daily life, and most agree that government and businesses have failed to adjust to the changes in the family. As the Old Economy dissolves before our eyes, men and women express remarkably similar life goals when asked about the importance of money, health, jobs and family. If male jobs keep vanishing, if physical strength loses its workplace value, if the premium shifts ever more to education, in which achievement is increasingly female, then we will soon be having parallel conversations: What needs to be done to free American men to realize their full potential? You can imagine the whole conversation flipping in a single generation.
It's no longer a man's world. Nor is it a woman's nation. It's a cooperative, with bylaws under constant negotiation and expectations that profits be equally shared.
"Nice guys finish last": Is Jake planning to act differently on his show?
'Bachelor' Jake: Nice Guys Can Finish First
Posted on October 14, 2009
The new Bachelor Jake Pavelka talks to Extra about love
Extra
He lost out on "The Bachelorette," but Jake Pavelka is again ready to look for love on TV. After being announced as the new "Bachelor," Jake sat down with "Extra" to talk about settling down, breaking hearts -- and his celebrity crush.
"I am absolutely ready to settle down," the commercial pilot says. Jake was dismissed by Jillian Harris on "The Bachelorette" and memorably announced, "Nice guys finish last." He's returning to reality TV to find the woman he hopes to marry. "I'm 31 and still single, so I'm doing something wrong out there."
The southern gentleman has had his heart broken in the past and knows it's possible people will get hurt on "The Bachelor" as well. "I've had my heart handed to me. It was my high school sweetheart," Jake recalls. "Boy, you never forget!"
Jake tells "Extra" he has a celebrity crush on former "American Idol" and country star Carrie Underwood and he's afraid of falling in love with more than one girl on "The Bachelor."
Posted on October 14, 2009
The new Bachelor Jake Pavelka talks to Extra about love
Extra
He lost out on "The Bachelorette," but Jake Pavelka is again ready to look for love on TV. After being announced as the new "Bachelor," Jake sat down with "Extra" to talk about settling down, breaking hearts -- and his celebrity crush.
"I am absolutely ready to settle down," the commercial pilot says. Jake was dismissed by Jillian Harris on "The Bachelorette" and memorably announced, "Nice guys finish last." He's returning to reality TV to find the woman he hopes to marry. "I'm 31 and still single, so I'm doing something wrong out there."
The southern gentleman has had his heart broken in the past and knows it's possible people will get hurt on "The Bachelor" as well. "I've had my heart handed to me. It was my high school sweetheart," Jake recalls. "Boy, you never forget!"
Jake tells "Extra" he has a celebrity crush on former "American Idol" and country star Carrie Underwood and he's afraid of falling in love with more than one girl on "The Bachelor."
"The Bachelor Is Full of S----"
Wes Hayden: The Bachelor Is "Full of S---"
US Magazine, Wednesday – October 14, 2009
Wes Hayden wishes his former Bachelorette costar Jake Pavelka the best of luck in his quest to find love as the new Bachelor.
"I hope he finds somebody and gets married because that show is full of s--t," he told Usmagazine.com Tuesday at the Fox Reality Channel's Reality Awards in L.A. "One marriage in 18 seasons? I mean, come on!"
Hayden said it's "absolutely impossible to find love" on the ABC show.
"Call me old fashioned and say that my moral compass is off, but is it OK for one woman to make out with 30 guys and in eight weeks dwindle it down to someone she is going to spend the rest of her life with?" he said.
"Look, love is a decision. You decide to love somebody, and it doesn’t happen overnight and that's what they are trying to do," he added. "That's why there has never been a marriage except for Ryan and Trista, and I heard they were already a couple before the show started. That's what I heard from the past contestants when I was off the show."
Hayden, who was accused of having a girlfriend on last season's Bachelorette, said he was upset with the way he was portrayed on the show.
"I saw one episode, and it was the very first one, and I was so upset that I didn't watch any other episodes," he said. "I mean, look at me! I'm sleeved out with tattoos! I've got the spiky hair!"
He said he didn't even want to do the show in the first place.
"In all honesty, my 17-year-old sister signed me up for the show, and I did it for her basically," he said. "I fell into something bigger than me that I didn't know anything about. I'll tell you one thing, I have people looking at me for other TV shows, and I know exactly what to do and what not to do the second time around."
As for the future of Bachelorette Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski?
"I love Jillian and I talk to her all the time on Facebook still," Hayden said. "If she gets married and has lots of babies and lives the American Dream, great. But honestly, I don't think that is going to happen."
US Magazine, Wednesday – October 14, 2009
Wes Hayden wishes his former Bachelorette costar Jake Pavelka the best of luck in his quest to find love as the new Bachelor.
"I hope he finds somebody and gets married because that show is full of s--t," he told Usmagazine.com Tuesday at the Fox Reality Channel's Reality Awards in L.A. "One marriage in 18 seasons? I mean, come on!"
Hayden said it's "absolutely impossible to find love" on the ABC show.
"Call me old fashioned and say that my moral compass is off, but is it OK for one woman to make out with 30 guys and in eight weeks dwindle it down to someone she is going to spend the rest of her life with?" he said.
"Look, love is a decision. You decide to love somebody, and it doesn’t happen overnight and that's what they are trying to do," he added. "That's why there has never been a marriage except for Ryan and Trista, and I heard they were already a couple before the show started. That's what I heard from the past contestants when I was off the show."
Hayden, who was accused of having a girlfriend on last season's Bachelorette, said he was upset with the way he was portrayed on the show.
"I saw one episode, and it was the very first one, and I was so upset that I didn't watch any other episodes," he said. "I mean, look at me! I'm sleeved out with tattoos! I've got the spiky hair!"
He said he didn't even want to do the show in the first place.
"In all honesty, my 17-year-old sister signed me up for the show, and I did it for her basically," he said. "I fell into something bigger than me that I didn't know anything about. I'll tell you one thing, I have people looking at me for other TV shows, and I know exactly what to do and what not to do the second time around."
As for the future of Bachelorette Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski?
"I love Jillian and I talk to her all the time on Facebook still," Hayden said. "If she gets married and has lots of babies and lives the American Dream, great. But honestly, I don't think that is going to happen."
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Returning to Love Happens
Last weekend Nadya and I finally had the opportunity to see a movie again and we saw Love Happens. We hoped to see this when we first heard about it, and we were further encouraged by Leen's compelling review. I feel like Leen really nailed it in her description of the movie, its strengths and its appeal. I agree with Leen that the movie is definitely worth seeing.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Back and trying to catch up
Hi ALL!!! Not sure what's up with my blogger - none of my usual methods of seeing if there are new posts are not working *so sad* I thought for a couple of days that there had been no postings whatsoever and was I was quite upset about that. Joy of joys here you are and I have lots to catch up with. Off to read and comment but if anyone is interested here is the web page to my goofy blog about our trip. There is a romantic picture so I will call it appropriate for this site.
http://joanne55.blogspot.com/2009/10/once-upon-time-not-so-long-ago.html
http://joanne55.blogspot.com/2009/10/once-upon-time-not-so-long-ago.html
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
ABC press release for The Bachelor 14: On the Wings of Love with Jake Pavelka
Here's the official press release about Jake.
http://www.abcmedianet.com/web/showpage/showpage.aspx?program_id=002346&type=lead
and, of course, the more cynical, sarcastic Reality Steve
www.realitysteve.com
http://www.abcmedianet.com/web/showpage/showpage.aspx?program_id=002346&type=lead
and, of course, the more cynical, sarcastic Reality Steve
www.realitysteve.com
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Men Prefer Fit and Curvy Women
Men prefer fit and curvy women
By Jari Love, Calgary
I have been in the fitness industry for over 30 years and I have always been intrigued by the link between sex and fitness.
However, it wasn't until recently that I really started thinking about the desires of men and women.
What mainly got me thinking about this was that I started to meet so many women smart, beautiful and successful women who were all single! I couldn't wrap my brain around it.
How could it be that these women, who seemingly have everything going for them can't find a partner?
And maybe it was because I started thinking so much about this, but then I started to notice single men everywhere.
Why weren't these people finding each other? What exactly are men and women looking for?
That's when I created the Jari Love Sex and Fitness survey that asked these questions.
We got over 600 responses from married and single men and women.
I know we don't like to admit it, but let's be honest ladies, how many of us kill ourselves at the gym and constantly watch what we eat in the hopes of turning the heads of a man or two, or just to appease the man we married in hopes that he still thinks we are hot?
And how many of us beat ourselves up both internally and physically, feeling our thighs and tummy after indulging in our favourite chocolate dessert because of what it will do to our figure?
I know many of us do, and -- with the media bombarding us with images of ultra slim models and celebrities with super toned muscles telling us if they can do it, so should we! -- is it surprising we feel the pressure?
But, are these images what men want? Are men most attracted to these body types?
Surprisingly what my survey revealed was an overwhelming no! Seventy four per cent of men said that their ideal body type was not "slender" or "athletic and toned" but "fit and curvy".
In fact the majority selected Beyonce over either a Paris Hilton or Madonna type.
They may be slim and willowy, but that is not what turns most men on.
While fitness is important, men do prefer women with a softness around the middle.
But, this left me confused. If men aren't interested in super defined muscles or super slender waistlines, who exactly are we women trying to please with all the hours spent in the gym and dieting?
Thinking back--wasn't Marilyn Monroe considered to be the greatest sex symbol of all time? Guess what? Her average size was 14 to 16!
When I train women of all shapes and sizes, one of their top requests is to get that sixpack ab look. To achieve that six-pack look your body fat would have to be under 12 per cent, and this is considered unhealthy and dangerous!
Hold onto that thought because NOT one man listed abs as a preferred body part--you heard me right ladies, not one!
In fact, based on the survey, which body type do you think was the favourite among men -- was it the chest, legs, arms, abs or butt -- can you guess? Almost 50% of all men chose the 'bootie' as the favourite body part among the women with legs and chest following behind.
By Jari Love, Calgary
I have been in the fitness industry for over 30 years and I have always been intrigued by the link between sex and fitness.
However, it wasn't until recently that I really started thinking about the desires of men and women.
What mainly got me thinking about this was that I started to meet so many women smart, beautiful and successful women who were all single! I couldn't wrap my brain around it.
How could it be that these women, who seemingly have everything going for them can't find a partner?
And maybe it was because I started thinking so much about this, but then I started to notice single men everywhere.
Why weren't these people finding each other? What exactly are men and women looking for?
That's when I created the Jari Love Sex and Fitness survey that asked these questions.
We got over 600 responses from married and single men and women.
I know we don't like to admit it, but let's be honest ladies, how many of us kill ourselves at the gym and constantly watch what we eat in the hopes of turning the heads of a man or two, or just to appease the man we married in hopes that he still thinks we are hot?
And how many of us beat ourselves up both internally and physically, feeling our thighs and tummy after indulging in our favourite chocolate dessert because of what it will do to our figure?
I know many of us do, and -- with the media bombarding us with images of ultra slim models and celebrities with super toned muscles telling us if they can do it, so should we! -- is it surprising we feel the pressure?
But, are these images what men want? Are men most attracted to these body types?
Surprisingly what my survey revealed was an overwhelming no! Seventy four per cent of men said that their ideal body type was not "slender" or "athletic and toned" but "fit and curvy".
In fact the majority selected Beyonce over either a Paris Hilton or Madonna type.
They may be slim and willowy, but that is not what turns most men on.
While fitness is important, men do prefer women with a softness around the middle.
But, this left me confused. If men aren't interested in super defined muscles or super slender waistlines, who exactly are we women trying to please with all the hours spent in the gym and dieting?
Thinking back--wasn't Marilyn Monroe considered to be the greatest sex symbol of all time? Guess what? Her average size was 14 to 16!
When I train women of all shapes and sizes, one of their top requests is to get that sixpack ab look. To achieve that six-pack look your body fat would have to be under 12 per cent, and this is considered unhealthy and dangerous!
Hold onto that thought because NOT one man listed abs as a preferred body part--you heard me right ladies, not one!
In fact, based on the survey, which body type do you think was the favourite among men -- was it the chest, legs, arms, abs or butt -- can you guess? Almost 50% of all men chose the 'bootie' as the favourite body part among the women with legs and chest following behind.
"Keep Curvy Women Off Catwalk", says Karl Lagerfeld
Keep curvy women off catwalk: Lagerfeld
Agence France-Presse, Oct 13, 2009
Curvy women have no place on the catwalk, iconic German fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld was quoted as saying Sunday, after a magazine said it was banning skinny models in favour of "real women."
"No one wants to see curvy women," Lagerfeld was quoted as saying on the website of news magazine Focus.
"You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly," he added.
The world of fashion is about "dreams and illusions," he said, dismissing as "absurd" the debate prompted by Brigitte magazine, which said it would no longer feature professional models on its pages.
Brigitte, one of Germany's top women's magazines, said last week it would only publish photographs of "real women" after readers complained they could not identify with the models depicted.
Agence France-Presse, Oct 13, 2009
Curvy women have no place on the catwalk, iconic German fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld was quoted as saying Sunday, after a magazine said it was banning skinny models in favour of "real women."
"No one wants to see curvy women," Lagerfeld was quoted as saying on the website of news magazine Focus.
"You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly," he added.
The world of fashion is about "dreams and illusions," he said, dismissing as "absurd" the debate prompted by Brigitte magazine, which said it would no longer feature professional models on its pages.
Brigitte, one of Germany's top women's magazines, said last week it would only publish photographs of "real women" after readers complained they could not identify with the models depicted.
And there you have it....
....worst kept secret in TV history. Jake will be the next Bachelor. I still held out hope that it would be anyone else until I just saw him in the audience with CH at DWTS tonight. How unpleasant :(
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canucks!
To my American pals, sorry you have to work tomorrow ☺
Hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend!
Remmi
Hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend!
Remmi
Monday, October 5, 2009
Harper with Yo-Yo Ma
http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOt2Qp0H9G8
Our Prime Minister at the NAC in Ottawa (my hometown) on the weekend. I don't think we want to discuss politics on this blog but thought you might like to see the leader of our country perform at our National Arts Centre. Who knew he could sing!?!
Our Prime Minister at the NAC in Ottawa (my hometown) on the weekend. I don't think we want to discuss politics on this blog but thought you might like to see the leader of our country perform at our National Arts Centre. Who knew he could sing!?!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Dumping JED
Alrighty, I've been re-immersed in Bach'ette-ville since I joined the TeamReid board. It's kinda like stumbling on pics of your old flame. It mercilessly drudged the crap up again. Didn't help that the JED were a double-page spread in People either.
But, I think I've finally reached the point that I'm done trying to figure it out. More important matters pull at my attention currently. To make mental space for them, I'm dumping JED, maybe even Reid. :)
Here goes my final perfect analysis (if you're a TeamReid-er, it's a copy of my last post on that board):
But, I think I've finally reached the point that I'm done trying to figure it out. More important matters pull at my attention currently. To make mental space for them, I'm dumping JED, maybe even Reid. :)
Here goes my final perfect analysis (if you're a TeamReid-er, it's a copy of my last post on that board):
I’m attracted to bad guys.
Jill’s improvements to Ed’s bachelor pad
Months out of this mess, I can clearly see that Rilly could never have worked. When Jill said she was scared sitting on that bench across from Reid, I truly believe she was. She was scared of choosing something healthy, something whole. Jill, I’m sure, realized that she was on new ground, possibly—were she to choose Reid—about to embark on a relationship of equality and commitment and personal growth. He wanted someone independent but who could also depend but not too much. In the end, that he stayed true to himself, unwilling to accelerate things to appease her goading, unnerved her. To be with him meant she'd have to change and work on the dark places called her wounds.
Water seeks its own level. The perfect match was made: Jill and Ed. I still hope that it's all a stunt for money. I'm not so sure anymore.
Reid, in his own time, if he hasn’t already, will find a woman with equal intellect, wit, and warmth who can meet him ½ way.
Sigh. I think I'm good and done. It's over. :)
Saturday, October 3, 2009
THE RECESSION AND REALITY TV
Late last year, Nene Leakes was evicted from her five-bedroom, 5,000-square-foot house in Duluth, Ga. According to the legal notice, she and her husband agreed to leave because they couldn't afford the rent. That would put her in good company, but the eviction was especially damaging to Leakes, because for her, living in an expensive home isn't a choice. It's a job requirement.
Leakes is a star of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, the Bravo show that chronicles the petty squabbles of Atlanta's high society. When the show began its second season, Leakes was deciding how to decorate her new home—but carefully avoided mentioning why she left her old one. Bravo has built its brand around aspirational reality shows, among them The Millionaire Matchmaker and Million Dollar Listing. Even in a recession, the network is staying the course. Watching these shows now is like watching some alternate universe in which wealth is constant and bubbles never burst. If the ratings for Housewives are any indication, ignorance truly is bliss: it was the most-watched cable show for three weeks running.
This could mean trouble for the folks in a different neighborhood—network TV. Reality has set in on shows such as Desperate Housewives, where Lynette (Felicity Huffman) recently had to deal with the family pizzeria going under, and Grey’s Anatomy, where the hospital can barely afford Band-Aids.
This season, financial fallout isn't a story, it's the story. ABC has Hank, which stars Kelsey Grammer as an ousted CEO who must downsize his family to his dilapidated childhood home. (Typical punch line: Hank reflexively calling out for the live-in maid who no longer works for him. Hilarious!) BET just debuted Pay It Off, a game show in which contestants can win cash to manage their massive debts. These are in addition to the more-useful-than-ever tips-and-tricks shows of HGTV and the Food Network, like Bought & Sold and Ten Dollar Dinners.
This downmarket trend is hardly surprising: TV always adapts quickly. But sometimes in pop culture, the best response is not to respond. Remember all those Iraq War movies no one went to see? Americans like escapist entertainment.
From the October 2009 issue of Newsweek magazine
Leakes is a star of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, the Bravo show that chronicles the petty squabbles of Atlanta's high society. When the show began its second season, Leakes was deciding how to decorate her new home—but carefully avoided mentioning why she left her old one. Bravo has built its brand around aspirational reality shows, among them The Millionaire Matchmaker and Million Dollar Listing. Even in a recession, the network is staying the course. Watching these shows now is like watching some alternate universe in which wealth is constant and bubbles never burst. If the ratings for Housewives are any indication, ignorance truly is bliss: it was the most-watched cable show for three weeks running.
This could mean trouble for the folks in a different neighborhood—network TV. Reality has set in on shows such as Desperate Housewives, where Lynette (Felicity Huffman) recently had to deal with the family pizzeria going under, and Grey’s Anatomy, where the hospital can barely afford Band-Aids.
This season, financial fallout isn't a story, it's the story. ABC has Hank, which stars Kelsey Grammer as an ousted CEO who must downsize his family to his dilapidated childhood home. (Typical punch line: Hank reflexively calling out for the live-in maid who no longer works for him. Hilarious!) BET just debuted Pay It Off, a game show in which contestants can win cash to manage their massive debts. These are in addition to the more-useful-than-ever tips-and-tricks shows of HGTV and the Food Network, like Bought & Sold and Ten Dollar Dinners.
This downmarket trend is hardly surprising: TV always adapts quickly. But sometimes in pop culture, the best response is not to respond. Remember all those Iraq War movies no one went to see? Americans like escapist entertainment.
From the October 2009 issue of Newsweek magazine
Update: Next Bachelor
According to TeamReid, Reid is 100% not the next Bachelor. One board member supposedly Facebook chatted with Reid (several of TeamReid board members are his Facebook friends) who told her himself that he was not the bachelor. Some doubt that post just cuz Reid's Twitter and FB have been hacked, but the board administrator followed it up with a Twitter from a Philly photog who corroborated the news.
Tons of leaks are out there; given the Fort-Knox-like contracts on Bachelor actors, I'm not sure how people can leak inside info without threat of a lawsuit, but I'll take it.
All signs point to Jake.
Tons of leaks are out there; given the Fort-Knox-like contracts on Bachelor actors, I'm not sure how people can leak inside info without threat of a lawsuit, but I'll take it.
All signs point to Jake.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Whip It
Saw the movie "Whip It" tonight. Love, love, loved it! For those who enjoy a little quirky comedy now and again, I highly recommend it. "Juno" darling, Ellen Page was absolutely precious as the misfit daughter to a former beauty queen, played by Marcia Gay Harden. Her attempts to fulfill her Mom's former pageant fantasies are admirable but social outcast Bliss discovers her secret passion is actually Roller Derby. Daniel Stern plays her Dad who's suffered decades of son-less sports envy to a house full of girlie girls and girlie imposters.
An impressive team of wacky and wild wheeling derby girls, a surprise appearance by the unknown Wilson brother, Andrew (Owen and Luke's brother) as the team coach and a scene stealing Jimmy Fallon as the derby MC, rounds out this zany cast. Add in the token first love and one of the best BFF's ever, it was definitely a character driven film with a spectacular performance by Ellen, AKA "Babe Ruthless".
Like I have previously mentioned, I like all genre's of film except horror. This little gem warmed my heart and kept a smile on my face for the duration. Hope you like it too if you get the chance to see it!!
Have a fabulous weekend!
Remmi ♥
An impressive team of wacky and wild wheeling derby girls, a surprise appearance by the unknown Wilson brother, Andrew (Owen and Luke's brother) as the team coach and a scene stealing Jimmy Fallon as the derby MC, rounds out this zany cast. Add in the token first love and one of the best BFF's ever, it was definitely a character driven film with a spectacular performance by Ellen, AKA "Babe Ruthless".
Like I have previously mentioned, I like all genre's of film except horror. This little gem warmed my heart and kept a smile on my face for the duration. Hope you like it too if you get the chance to see it!!
Have a fabulous weekend!
Remmi ♥
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