'Bachelor' Jake: Nice Guys Can Finish First
Posted on October 14, 2009
The new Bachelor Jake Pavelka talks to Extra about love
Extra
He lost out on "The Bachelorette," but Jake Pavelka is again ready to look for love on TV. After being announced as the new "Bachelor," Jake sat down with "Extra" to talk about settling down, breaking hearts -- and his celebrity crush.
"I am absolutely ready to settle down," the commercial pilot says. Jake was dismissed by Jillian Harris on "The Bachelorette" and memorably announced, "Nice guys finish last." He's returning to reality TV to find the woman he hopes to marry. "I'm 31 and still single, so I'm doing something wrong out there."
The southern gentleman has had his heart broken in the past and knows it's possible people will get hurt on "The Bachelor" as well. "I've had my heart handed to me. It was my high school sweetheart," Jake recalls. "Boy, you never forget!"
Jake tells "Extra" he has a celebrity crush on former "American Idol" and country star Carrie Underwood and he's afraid of falling in love with more than one girl on "The Bachelor."
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This is the line from the Extra interview which bothers me the most:
ReplyDelete"I'm 31 and still single, so I'm doing something wrong out there."
This idea that 31 is too late and that he's somehow doing something wrong by being a nice guy.
Hmmm....
Well I am going to give him the first episode to convince me but I do know Marianna if you are here musing I will be here commenting - so I guess I will have to watch the entire show to comment with some knowledge.
ReplyDeleteNote to Jake - please be yourself (whoever that is). Note to Fleiss - please give us some quality character females - they do exist.
All I know is my darling didn't find me until he was 42 - sadly for him it meant no children with me - so maybe that is where Jake is coming from - just hope he doesn't bore us to death.
So, let me speak for a minute about "the nice guy/sensitive guy" distinction. From personal experience-both my friends and mine-it's true that (some) women are temporarily drawn to "bad" boys. Perhaps it's cultural or dysfunctional, but most of us try out a bad boy for a bit. He's fast, furious, dripping with masculinity, suave, but the thing is he shares something in common with "the nice guy": both of them are sensitive. The "bad" boy wouldn't have game were he not sensitive. He just doesn't have respect, the distinguishing factor from "the nice guy." Nice guys, like Reid's character, are true gentlemen. Though they're chivalrous, they respect a woman's thoughts and boundaries and goals. The "bad" boy, in the end, he's often only interested in himself. Which is exactly the hook: many women believe they can change him. *shakes her head*
ReplyDeleteHere's the interesting thing: I read an article today that stated that women *think* they want a sensitive man but when they date one, they realize that they don't. Huh? Sure, I'm hoping that he cries less than I do (very infrequently), but what woman, when she finally grows out of the bad boy stage and starts thinking about a long-term relationship, about her children's dad, doesn't want a man who listens and cares and tries and respects and loves her?
I think that eventually nice guys finish first. Most of the nice guys that I knew in college are happily married with kids. And if marriage comes later, than I hope, that the nice guy waited cuz he hadn't met the nice girl. It runs both ways. Plenty of kind, smart, "nice" women wait for the guy who won't be a jerk. Count me among them ;)
Leen, I do believe you hit on something here. You're right that bad boys are sensitive. We all knew they didn't respect women but they wouldn't have a chance of appealing to decent, sensible women if they weren't sensitive.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that the nice guys you have known have are happily married now. That hasn't been my experience. Almost all of my male friends have been nice guys (I can't stomach the bad boys). Most of them have really struggled to meet women. The kind of women I hear declaiming that the men they date are awful won't date the nice guys I've known. They consider nice guys boring. And perhaps we are. Bad boys are not at all boring.
Perhaps this is why Jake is considered so boring: he seems to be a nice guy. Reid is a nice guy that is not boring. He has a charm and wit that are unusually rare among nice guys. Steady, practical types don't tend to be charming and witty. If Jake were an actor, he'd probably be a lot less boring.
Wow some interesting points from Leen and Jim. I agree about the "bad boy" phase. I think its bad boy in the way John Travolta was a bad boy in Grease, that is what most women are THINKING when they want one. That there is this other side to him that they can bring out. But the truth is, more often than not, that guy is just that guy, he truly doesn't care. In Grease he just hid his softer side from the boys, as opposed to not having one. it is a delusion that is definitely perpetuated on TV and in movies. For example 90210 rerun (I watched the remake of it first season) there was a 'bad boy' on the show (Liam), and then in the last episode he was suddenly 'soft' and fell for Naomi. It was complete not believable, I half thought he was joking, and girls everywhere are going to think that hot stud that treats them like crap is going to suddenly see the light and be the awesome boyfriend they idealize. IT NEVER HAPPENS!
ReplyDeleteAs for Jake, I will probably enjoy his season. He is attractive, and sometimes seems fake because he is so benevolent, but he is a sweet guy and I hope they give him nice girls, maybe ones that are slightly naive and innocent.
Marianna - It does disturb me that he thinks he is doing something wrong because he is 31 and single. There is nothing wrong with that! If he is being himself than he will attract the right type of people and eventually it will click for him!