Alrighty, I've been re-immersed in Bach'ette-ville since I joined the TeamReid board. It's kinda like stumbling on pics of your old flame. It mercilessly drudged the crap up again. Didn't help that the JED were a double-page spread in People either.
But, I think I've finally reached the point that I'm done trying to figure it out. More important matters pull at my attention currently. To make mental space for them, I'm dumping JED, maybe even Reid. :)
Here goes my final perfect analysis (if you're a TeamReid-er, it's a copy of my last post on that board):
Wes is a little bit bad boy/country guy I’ve always wanted to be with.
I’m attracted to bad guys.
I find that the guys I can’t have I’m not myself around. And the guys I can have like me cuz I’m being myself with them.
I’m nervous around you cuz I like you so much. (to Ed)
I’m ordering him around. (about Ed)
Jill’s improvements to Ed’s bachelor pad
I work hard for my happiness. (to Kip’s mom)
He’ll take care of me; and let me sometimes take care of him (to Jacob about Jesse and about Ed in a PI after their 1:1 date)
Stand by your man. No matter what. (to Kip’s mom)
A little guy who needs extra help (People article; about a special needs dog)
So distracted by Reid and Rilly, I very quickly dismissed an edit that 100% explained Jillian’s character and decision. Choosing Ed—who I think was 2nd to Wes—was the only choice Jill could make. Jillian chose the love she knows. Jill wanted tall, dark, and handsome (?); she wanted someone to take care of her, and in turn, she wanted someone whom she can fix, someone more flawed than her as a way to have the upper hand. Her emphasis on daredevil stunts might be the need to feel alive which mirrors exactly the roller-coaster nature of her relationships. The most tumultuous relationship on the show was her and Ed’s; yet, that’s the one she chooses cuz it most reflects the dysfunction of codependent love that her parents probably had. Despite blatant proof, she stays with a cheater. She wants a dog with issues. Does it mean that Jill has a heart of love? Sure. It's just she only wants to love what's broken. (That's a whole other discussion).
Jill wants exactly what she has right now. Because it's safe. It's sad but safe. She doesn't know any better. But, she did. And it was Reid.
Months out of this mess, I can clearly see that Rilly could never have worked. When Jill said she was scared sitting on that bench across from Reid, I truly believe she was. She was scared of choosing something healthy, something whole. Jill, I’m sure, realized that she was on new ground, possibly—were she to choose Reid—about to embark on a relationship of equality and commitment and personal growth. He wanted someone independent but who could also depend but not too much. In the end, that he stayed true to himself, unwilling to accelerate things to appease her goading, unnerved her. To be with him meant she'd have to change and work on the dark places called her wounds.
Water seeks its own level. The perfect match was made: Jill and Ed. I still hope that it's all a stunt for money. I'm not so sure anymore.
Reid, in his own time, if he hasn’t already, will find a woman with equal intellect, wit, and warmth who can meet him ½ way.
Sigh. I think I'm good and done. It's over. :)
Posts
I replied on the Teamreid board. As long as you are not gone from here, I won't be sad :)
ReplyDeleteShe's bound and determined to make it work. Question of pride as much as anything else, I say.
ReplyDeleteLet's hope he's as committed to their success as she (stupidly) seems to be.
Forget how heavily edited the show was and just look at what has transpired since the show. That alone should have been enough to send any self-respecting woman running in the opposite direction.
M.
Hear, hear!
ReplyDeleteI am sick to death of those two. I consider him a humiliation for men everywhere and her an embarrassment for women everywhere. Every decent guy on that show should thank their lucky stars (or angels) that she didn't pick them. What a train wreck!!!
Reid of course is a living doll (neuroses and all) and I wish him all the best. If he does something on TV, etc. and I have a chance to watch, I will. He is just a naturally entertaining person; such genuine charm. But I think Leen is right; his new found fame has put him as much out of the reach of us regular mortals as if he were Brad Pitt, et, al.
But where there is one, there are more...
Once again Leen you make what was a gigantic jumble a smooth and readable print. "Water finds its own level" how TRUE! I agree that she only wants to love something she can fix. Her self esteem was not able to support a Reid. They would have ended most likely. He very much would have forced her to face herself, and not many of us are prepared to do that. To look at the parts of our psyche that need work, that are wounded, is so hard.
ReplyDelete