JUSTIN TIME
In a remarkable display of convenience, coincidence and casting, Chris Harrison finds Ali in her hotel room, and, with no apparent consideration of time zones, calls Canada.
After the Most Dramatic Five Rings Ever, none other than (former Bachelor and current Bachelor Pad contestant) Jessie (Suldaris) answers the phone.
Jessie, who I thought was still on set of The Bachelor Pad, just happens to be sitting at home with Justin's girlfriend, also named Jessica.
Justin, Jessie, Jessica... and wait, there's ANOTHER girlfriend somewhere? What's her name? Jezebel? Why wasn't she in the room too? Maybe because Mike Fleiss can't stand not to embellish the truth?
In a moment of the Sisterhood of the Travelling Two-timer, Ali bonds instantly to the wronged girlfriend and they have a little fake-cry and sympathy moment together. To Justin, Ali shows her aggressive, sarcastic and potty-mouthed side, questioning his very manhood.
At first Justin is sullen, next, he sulks, then attempts to stalk off. This is made difficult by Chris Harrison, Mike Fleiss and several bulky crew members, who have managed to block him so that his only retreat is hopping over hedges and fleeing over fountains.
He hails a cab and gets in, only to discover that the driver is none other than... Kasey, who has trekked back from the glacier to teach Justin a lesson for not guarding and protecting Ali's heart.
Sadly, there is no camera in the cab to record what went on.
TY MASSAGE
Ali gets steamy-ish with southern gentleman Ty.
In a show of remarkable restraint (if one is to compare this to the hallmark "Hot tub Harris" scene with Jillian and Jason), they give each other massages (disappointingly, no one straddles anyone) while Ali tries to figure out if she likes Ty enough to keep him.
A big red flag goes up at dinnertime when Ty speaks out of both sides of his mouth, telling Ali he admires her ambition while his anecdotes of family and married life pay homage to the stay-at-home wife and mother.
Safe bet: Ambitious Ali and Traditional Ty will not be riding off into the sunset.
Still, for now, they are very cosy. Once back in the change room, Ali is surprised to find... Kasey, clutching a fresh pair of bandaids. He is here to guard and protect those nasty blisters Ali has on the back of her ankles.
RAPUNZEL, LET DOWN YOUR HAIR EXTENSIONS
On the group date, the men always have to pretend to search for a hidden Ali. Just follow the trail of the camera crew, guys!
This time, Ali is coyly concealed in a tall Turkish turret. The men call up to her and she lets down her impossibly long extensions for them to climb up.
If you look closely in between the turrets, you can spot Kasey, lurking nearby with a bottle of conditioner, true to his word to guard and protect her... hair.
POP-EYED AND OLIVE OIL
No sooner has Ali gotten rid of one slick wrestler, she now has to face five more!
This time, it's not the smear of scandal, the pommade of perfidy, which is making the bachelors slick, but rather the copious amounts of olive oil with which Ali liberally slathers their chiselled chests while assorted Turkish wrestlers wait nearby.
The men grunt and flail and throw each other to the ground, making eye-popping efforts to win a one-on-one date with Ali.
The least-chiselled man wins.
NO FIREWORKS FOR ALI
Craig loves Ali more than Ali loves Craig.
His expression gets more and more adoring as their date wears on but Ali keeps her distance. He moves in for a kiss; she hugs him back. He leans towards her, she keeps her distance, her hands clasped firmly together.
In the total absence of metaphorical fireworks for Ali, the literal fireworks go entirely to waste.
Luckily, Craig need not worry about one thing: While he is on his date with Ali, back in his corner of the room sits... Kasey, clutching Craig's oily-pants wrestling trophy in order to guard and protect it from Roberto, the oh so close runner up.
BAZAAR BEHAVIOUR
Frank and Ali stroll through a colourful Turkish spice bazaar . Belly-dancer Ali shakes her sequins. Frank a.k.a. The Great Karnak, looks on with wide-eyed appreciation. Bested by a wily salesman, he carries around a cumbersome and overpriced rug for the rest of the day.
After hearing the long list of pastries with pistachoes and various other ingredients, Frank teasingly asks the bakery owner if they happen to have anything with pistachoes. Without blinking an eye, the man patiently begins his demonstration again. Ali is in peals of laughter.
Shades of Jillian and Reid in the Spanish butcher shop, with a touch of "Soy Grande".
Although Frank's previous behaviour has been highly changeable, from obsessive to bitter, from lovestruck to distant, after their holiday postcard day and romantic dinner in a cistern, Ali proclaims that she has her old Frank back.
The gurgling sound you hear in the background is not the water of the cistern but Kasey, hiding in the shadows, agonizing about next week. Kasey's subtitles reveal that he knows that Frank is about to destroy Ali's previously guarded and protected heart.
MAGIC CARPET RIDE?
Frank may have bought a rug but is Ali about to have the rug pulled out from under her?
Is Frank going to disappear as fast as the proverbial fly-by-night carpet salesman, back to a place where he's not just on the fringe, competing with other guys for Ali's attentions? What kind of storyline is Fleiss weaving now? Have we seen this pattern before?
THE MOST DRAMATIC NON-EVENT EVER
Ali's had enough of the drama for one week. She calls off the cocktail party and, in the Speediest Rose Ceremony Ever, she tersely but regretfully bids adieu to a classy but crestfallen Craig.
Kasey, unbeknownst to all, however, has been waiting in the wings with a tray of drinks and for the chance to see Ali and his blood brothers again. Sadly, it is not to be. Kasey is devastated that Chris Harrison did absolutely nothing to guard and protect....the Cocktail Party.
And so, Ali toasts her remaining bachelors and announces the next destination: Portugal.
Kasey excitedly rushes off to his travel agent to make his reservations. He's heard that The Muppets are big in Portugal.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Interesting Article
I copied this from the BB. Thanks Chitown! I hope you don't mind, I think it was one to share here too.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Jake Pavelka: Vienna Girardi's no sex claim is "insane," I dumped her
Jake Pavelka: Vienna Girardi's no sex claim is "insane," I dumped her
By Christopher Rocchio, 06/24/2010
Jake Pavelka has labeled Vienna Girardi's claim that they split because he refused to be intimate with her as "insane."
"That's being dramatic and that's reaching," Pavelka told People in a cover story interview in the magazine's upcoming issue, according to Hollywood Life. "She has me mistaken for somebody else."
The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love couple issued a statement confirming their split on Monday night after Greek actor Gregory Michael said Girardi told him she was single and no longer with Pavelka when they met while attending a children's hospital prom near Los Angeles on Saturday and were subsequently seen kissing at a public beach party event in Santa Monica on Sunday.
It was later reported Pavelka that initiated the split because he felt Girardi was cheating with Michael, however he claims that was not the case.
"That is not what caused the breakup, but it's a factor," he told People. "I'm not going to be in a relationship that I don't fully trust."
While it might not have been the main cause of their split, Pavelka said he feels Girardi was unfaithful -- which she has denied.
"I'm not going to be surprised if more stuff comes out," Pavelka told People about Girardi's alleged infidelity. "I have no idea. I'm just putting my seatbelt on."
Instead, Pavelka claims he split from Girardi -- who has claimed that she was the one to end the relationship, not Pavelka -- because she sold her story to Star magazine, which published a cover story interview with Girardi this week.
"That seriously breaks my trust. I would never do that to her," he told People. "I am beside myself that she would dishonor the relationship like that."
Pavelka presented his final rose and a marriage proposal to Girardi -- and she accepted both during March's The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love finale broadcast, which filmed last fall. The couple subsequently told reporters they "definitely" would wed.
"For the skeptics out there, I followed my heart, and if I had to do it all over again, I would make the same decision over and over," he told People.
"I don't regret what I did."
Girardi's time as one of Pavelka's bachelorettes was a bumpy one -- as she was disliked by most of the season's other women and many viewers while also gaining tabloid attention for allegedly bilking her ex-husband out of thousands of dollars to pay for breast implants while he was deployed in Iraq.
"America couldn't stand that I chose her, and I'd defend her," Pavelka told People.
"For everything to come apart like this, I absolutely feel betrayed. I feel like I don't even know her."
In addition, Pavelka also described Girardi as unmotivated once they were together.
"[I told her] 'Babe, go get your experience, and I will support you.' But sleeping until 10:30 every day is not going to cut it, and it felt like a big load," he explained to People.
"It's not my place as a fiance to financially support somebody. It's been a lack of respect and support on her part."
According to Pavelka, Girardi also became extremely jealous of the post-The Bachelor opportunities that have come his way, which have included participating in Dancing with the Stars' tenth season.
"She was watching these doors fly open for me, and it was causing an intense amount of jealously," he told People.
Pavelka has previously stated he was "saddened" by the split and claimed the two will "remain friends" -- however he told People the romantic aspect of their relationship is finished for the time being.
"In my mind it's over," he said. "I'm never going to say never but I'm not pursuing her, and she's not pursuing me."
By Christopher Rocchio, 06/24/2010
Jake Pavelka has labeled Vienna Girardi's claim that they split because he refused to be intimate with her as "insane."
"That's being dramatic and that's reaching," Pavelka told People in a cover story interview in the magazine's upcoming issue, according to Hollywood Life. "She has me mistaken for somebody else."
The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love couple issued a statement confirming their split on Monday night after Greek actor Gregory Michael said Girardi told him she was single and no longer with Pavelka when they met while attending a children's hospital prom near Los Angeles on Saturday and were subsequently seen kissing at a public beach party event in Santa Monica on Sunday.
It was later reported Pavelka that initiated the split because he felt Girardi was cheating with Michael, however he claims that was not the case.
"That is not what caused the breakup, but it's a factor," he told People. "I'm not going to be in a relationship that I don't fully trust."
While it might not have been the main cause of their split, Pavelka said he feels Girardi was unfaithful -- which she has denied.
"I'm not going to be surprised if more stuff comes out," Pavelka told People about Girardi's alleged infidelity. "I have no idea. I'm just putting my seatbelt on."
Instead, Pavelka claims he split from Girardi -- who has claimed that she was the one to end the relationship, not Pavelka -- because she sold her story to Star magazine, which published a cover story interview with Girardi this week.
"That seriously breaks my trust. I would never do that to her," he told People. "I am beside myself that she would dishonor the relationship like that."
Pavelka presented his final rose and a marriage proposal to Girardi -- and she accepted both during March's The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love finale broadcast, which filmed last fall. The couple subsequently told reporters they "definitely" would wed.
"For the skeptics out there, I followed my heart, and if I had to do it all over again, I would make the same decision over and over," he told People.
"I don't regret what I did."
Girardi's time as one of Pavelka's bachelorettes was a bumpy one -- as she was disliked by most of the season's other women and many viewers while also gaining tabloid attention for allegedly bilking her ex-husband out of thousands of dollars to pay for breast implants while he was deployed in Iraq.
"America couldn't stand that I chose her, and I'd defend her," Pavelka told People.
"For everything to come apart like this, I absolutely feel betrayed. I feel like I don't even know her."
In addition, Pavelka also described Girardi as unmotivated once they were together.
"[I told her] 'Babe, go get your experience, and I will support you.' But sleeping until 10:30 every day is not going to cut it, and it felt like a big load," he explained to People.
"It's not my place as a fiance to financially support somebody. It's been a lack of respect and support on her part."
According to Pavelka, Girardi also became extremely jealous of the post-The Bachelor opportunities that have come his way, which have included participating in Dancing with the Stars' tenth season.
"She was watching these doors fly open for me, and it was causing an intense amount of jealously," he told People.
Pavelka has previously stated he was "saddened" by the split and claimed the two will "remain friends" -- however he told People the romantic aspect of their relationship is finished for the time being.
"In my mind it's over," he said. "I'm never going to say never but I'm not pursuing her, and she's not pursuing me."
Thursday, June 24, 2010
DUELLING ACCOUNTS OF THE JAKE-VIENNA CONFLICT
FROM STAR MAGAZINE:
Star Exclusive: Jake Pavelka Goes Psycho After Split with Vienna Girardi!
June 24, 2010 4:20 PM
Jake Pavelka has said that he and Vienna Girardi will remain friends post-split, but Star has learned that she's currently in hiding after he threatened to attack her!
Jake and Vienna saw each other for the first time since they ended their engagement when they filmed The Bachelor Breakup special for ABC — set to air July 5 — in Los Angeles late last night. And things got real ugly, really fast.
"Vienna was confronting him, exposing all his lies," a source tells Star. "He started screaming at her: 'Shut up! Don't belittle me! Don't question me! Shut up!' And all of a sudden, he literally jumped out of his chair, pulled back his fist and lunged at her! All of the executives were freaking out. They pulled him off of her and rushed them off to separate rooms."
The source continues, "The execs were screaming at him, 'What the heck are you doing?' And the camera people were all like, 'Oh my god, we can't use any of this.'"
Vienna was then shuttled off to an undisclosed location and currently has network representatives with her, making sure she is safe. "Vienna is scared to death," the source says. "She's all alone out there in L.A. and she's upset. She's terrified."
"She's never seen him be that mean," the source adds. "He's been a jerk and belittled her before, like 'You don't know what you're talking about.' And she's put up with it for the last four months, because she did everything she could to make the relationship work. But now she obviously knows she made the right decision. Who knows how ABC will try to splice and dice this and turn it around for their golden boy, making Vienna look bad like they always do. But people have to know what he did!"
Pick up the July 5 issue of Star today for our six-page interview with Vienna. In it she details how Jake stopped being intimate with her just a month into their relationship, how he was emotionally abusive and much more!
AND FROM US WEEKLY:
Exclusive: Vienna Storms Off in Tears During Jake Reunion Special
Thursday – June 24, 2010 – 5:12pm
Things got very heated between Jake Pavelka and ex-fiancee Vienna Girardi when they reunited for the first time since announcing their split at a two-hour ABC taping Thursday.
The two arrived separately at an undisclosed location to film the segment, set to air during The Bachelorette July 5, to discuss their highly publicized split.
Though Internet reports claim Pavelka, 32, raised a fist at Girardi, 24, an insider tells UsMagazine.com: "It did not happen. He was calm and collected."
At one point -- after Girardi kept continually cutting him off -- Pavelka stood up. But the insider says he simply asked, "Will you just let me finish?"
"He couldn't get a word out -- it was very reflective of their relationship," says the source, who adds that host Chris Harrison often had to tell Girardi, "Vienna, let him talk."
"Vienna was on the defense," the source tells Us. "She was trying to play victim."
She ended up storming off the set in tears.
"Jake has lost all respect for her," the source tells Us. "She crossed the line when she sold their relationship to Star."
The blow-up Thursday only reaffirmed that they made the right decision to call it quits, says the insider.
Adds the source, "They couldn’t even have an adult conversation while a mediator was there with them."
*****************************
Where does the truth lie?
Star Exclusive: Jake Pavelka Goes Psycho After Split with Vienna Girardi!
June 24, 2010 4:20 PM
Jake Pavelka has said that he and Vienna Girardi will remain friends post-split, but Star has learned that she's currently in hiding after he threatened to attack her!
Jake and Vienna saw each other for the first time since they ended their engagement when they filmed The Bachelor Breakup special for ABC — set to air July 5 — in Los Angeles late last night. And things got real ugly, really fast.
"Vienna was confronting him, exposing all his lies," a source tells Star. "He started screaming at her: 'Shut up! Don't belittle me! Don't question me! Shut up!' And all of a sudden, he literally jumped out of his chair, pulled back his fist and lunged at her! All of the executives were freaking out. They pulled him off of her and rushed them off to separate rooms."
The source continues, "The execs were screaming at him, 'What the heck are you doing?' And the camera people were all like, 'Oh my god, we can't use any of this.'"
Vienna was then shuttled off to an undisclosed location and currently has network representatives with her, making sure she is safe. "Vienna is scared to death," the source says. "She's all alone out there in L.A. and she's upset. She's terrified."
"She's never seen him be that mean," the source adds. "He's been a jerk and belittled her before, like 'You don't know what you're talking about.' And she's put up with it for the last four months, because she did everything she could to make the relationship work. But now she obviously knows she made the right decision. Who knows how ABC will try to splice and dice this and turn it around for their golden boy, making Vienna look bad like they always do. But people have to know what he did!"
Pick up the July 5 issue of Star today for our six-page interview with Vienna. In it she details how Jake stopped being intimate with her just a month into their relationship, how he was emotionally abusive and much more!
AND FROM US WEEKLY:
Exclusive: Vienna Storms Off in Tears During Jake Reunion Special
Thursday – June 24, 2010 – 5:12pm
Things got very heated between Jake Pavelka and ex-fiancee Vienna Girardi when they reunited for the first time since announcing their split at a two-hour ABC taping Thursday.
The two arrived separately at an undisclosed location to film the segment, set to air during The Bachelorette July 5, to discuss their highly publicized split.
Though Internet reports claim Pavelka, 32, raised a fist at Girardi, 24, an insider tells UsMagazine.com: "It did not happen. He was calm and collected."
At one point -- after Girardi kept continually cutting him off -- Pavelka stood up. But the insider says he simply asked, "Will you just let me finish?"
"He couldn't get a word out -- it was very reflective of their relationship," says the source, who adds that host Chris Harrison often had to tell Girardi, "Vienna, let him talk."
"Vienna was on the defense," the source tells Us. "She was trying to play victim."
She ended up storming off the set in tears.
"Jake has lost all respect for her," the source tells Us. "She crossed the line when she sold their relationship to Star."
The blow-up Thursday only reaffirmed that they made the right decision to call it quits, says the insider.
Adds the source, "They couldn’t even have an adult conversation while a mediator was there with them."
*****************************
Where does the truth lie?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
MARIANNA'S MUSINGS: ALI'S EPISODE 5
AND NOW... THE MOST DRAMATIC MENU EVER
ICED TEAS AND MOLTEN LAVA CAKE
We're in the frozen land and a giggly Ali is in fine, flirty form. Her bundled-up bevy of bachelors are bracing for the ice of the land and the fire of Ali.
(And if she can't quite manage it on her own, there's some hot lava, erupting conveniently nearby).
CHILI CON QUESO
It's very cold out and the bachelors have one hour to make up the cheesiest poems they can about Ali. It is a resounding success.
TOAD IN THE HOLE
Six guys spelunking in a dark cave. What could be more romantic. But which frogs will turn into princes?
TWO PEAS IN A POD
Kirk and Ali don matching sweaters (which Kirk apparently never takes off again), blissfully ignorant of the smirks from locals in downtown Reykjavik.
Later, Ali finds out Kirk's big secret. That he scrapbooks? That he likes patterned sweaters?
No, apparently, he has never been with a woman for longer than a year because once, he got really sick and almost died.
Can you say non sequitur? Failing that, can you say fickle females? Did they all abandon him to cope with his illness asbestos he could on his own?
BANGERS AND MASH
Justin approaches the 2 on 1 date as Rated-R, vowing to knock Kasey right out of the ring.
After being hit on the head with one too many wrestling analogies, viewers everywhere wrestle with this question: Which is more fake, The Bachelorette or a wrestling match?
MIXED NUTS
Getting nuttier by the moment, Kasey rambles and repeats to the camera, to all the bachelors and even to some befuddled Icelanders in shops and in the street that he is Kasey Kahl and he is who he is.
Kasey really knows how to drive a point home. Here are some 'Kasey-isms', quoted verbatim, on this week's episode:
"I love to give; I love to share."
"I am genuine and I am sincere."
"The tattoo stands for my feelings, my emotions."
"I'm going to be myself and be who I am."
" I'm here to guard and protect Ali's heart."
Oh, and one more question. Was Kasey speaking Icelandic or Unicorn when they subtitled him?
GLACIER PUNCH
So Justin gets his cast off but it's Kasey who gets cast off.
An abandoned Kasey is left looking lost and lonely atop a glacier. Don't feel too sorry for him, though; we managed to get a glimpse of the second helicopter, dispatched to collect the doleful guardian of women's hearts everywhere.
SEARED FRANKFURTER
Frank remains a hot (and bothered) dog. Not only is he boiling about having to share Ali on a group date but he keeps furtively spying on her with other guys.
On the plus side, though, he does seem to be Kasey's only friend and confidant. The hug he gives Kasey just before the 2 on 1 date speaks volumes: After all, Frank has seen the tattoo and knows Kasey is going home that night.
Ali does seem very interested in Frank. She chides him for not giving his full effort. But he finally rewards her with "the look I was missing, the look that tells me you want me".
ALPHABET SOUP
Ali forgets her schooling again, as she says "supposably" instead of 'supposedly". Frankly, I am "shooken up" at this poor use of language coming from someone who graduated college with honours.
HOT FUDGE
Roberto fudges the "hot" question with slightly messy results.
Ali wonders aloud if he's too hot for her. Instead of telling her how beautiful SHE is, he feigns humility and manages to insult Ali in a roundabout way by saying "I don't think I'm that hot."
SAN FRANCISCO SOURDOUGH
Chris L. declares that he would gladly make his living dealing with the sour smell of garbage in San Francisco if Ali were to choose him. Ali find this sweet but the spark for her seems to be souring. Could their romance be toast?
NACHO MAN
While the boys are horsing around during the group date, a manly Ty gallops ahead and gains considerable ground in the race for Ali's heart.
An expert equestrian, Ty helps hapless horseman Chris L. This does not escape Ali's attention and admiration and she later rewards Ty, in the Hot Spring of Ardor (TM).
PICKLED PORK
Ali is feeling no pain as she strips down to her bikini and jumps into the steamy lake, giggling and raising the men's...hopes.
HALF MOON PIE
The men put their modesty behind them and strip down at The Blue Lagoon. The moon briefly goes behind a black censorship square.
BEEF STEW
Ali stews about whether she will be loved back. Chris Harrison has a beef with her lack of confidence and counsels her to take a chance on love.
CAT'S TONGUE COOKIES
Poor Chris N. There's no chemistry; he's literally at a loss for words and he doesn't even merit lunch twice a year.
THAT'S A WRAP
On the menu next week: Turkey
ICED TEAS AND MOLTEN LAVA CAKE
We're in the frozen land and a giggly Ali is in fine, flirty form. Her bundled-up bevy of bachelors are bracing for the ice of the land and the fire of Ali.
(And if she can't quite manage it on her own, there's some hot lava, erupting conveniently nearby).
CHILI CON QUESO
It's very cold out and the bachelors have one hour to make up the cheesiest poems they can about Ali. It is a resounding success.
TOAD IN THE HOLE
Six guys spelunking in a dark cave. What could be more romantic. But which frogs will turn into princes?
TWO PEAS IN A POD
Kirk and Ali don matching sweaters (which Kirk apparently never takes off again), blissfully ignorant of the smirks from locals in downtown Reykjavik.
Later, Ali finds out Kirk's big secret. That he scrapbooks? That he likes patterned sweaters?
No, apparently, he has never been with a woman for longer than a year because once, he got really sick and almost died.
Can you say non sequitur? Failing that, can you say fickle females? Did they all abandon him to cope with his illness asbestos he could on his own?
BANGERS AND MASH
Justin approaches the 2 on 1 date as Rated-R, vowing to knock Kasey right out of the ring.
After being hit on the head with one too many wrestling analogies, viewers everywhere wrestle with this question: Which is more fake, The Bachelorette or a wrestling match?
MIXED NUTS
Getting nuttier by the moment, Kasey rambles and repeats to the camera, to all the bachelors and even to some befuddled Icelanders in shops and in the street that he is Kasey Kahl and he is who he is.
Kasey really knows how to drive a point home. Here are some 'Kasey-isms', quoted verbatim, on this week's episode:
"I love to give; I love to share."
"I am genuine and I am sincere."
"The tattoo stands for my feelings, my emotions."
"I'm going to be myself and be who I am."
" I'm here to guard and protect Ali's heart."
Oh, and one more question. Was Kasey speaking Icelandic or Unicorn when they subtitled him?
GLACIER PUNCH
So Justin gets his cast off but it's Kasey who gets cast off.
An abandoned Kasey is left looking lost and lonely atop a glacier. Don't feel too sorry for him, though; we managed to get a glimpse of the second helicopter, dispatched to collect the doleful guardian of women's hearts everywhere.
SEARED FRANKFURTER
Frank remains a hot (and bothered) dog. Not only is he boiling about having to share Ali on a group date but he keeps furtively spying on her with other guys.
On the plus side, though, he does seem to be Kasey's only friend and confidant. The hug he gives Kasey just before the 2 on 1 date speaks volumes: After all, Frank has seen the tattoo and knows Kasey is going home that night.
Ali does seem very interested in Frank. She chides him for not giving his full effort. But he finally rewards her with "the look I was missing, the look that tells me you want me".
ALPHABET SOUP
Ali forgets her schooling again, as she says "supposably" instead of 'supposedly". Frankly, I am "shooken up" at this poor use of language coming from someone who graduated college with honours.
HOT FUDGE
Roberto fudges the "hot" question with slightly messy results.
Ali wonders aloud if he's too hot for her. Instead of telling her how beautiful SHE is, he feigns humility and manages to insult Ali in a roundabout way by saying "I don't think I'm that hot."
SAN FRANCISCO SOURDOUGH
Chris L. declares that he would gladly make his living dealing with the sour smell of garbage in San Francisco if Ali were to choose him. Ali find this sweet but the spark for her seems to be souring. Could their romance be toast?
NACHO MAN
While the boys are horsing around during the group date, a manly Ty gallops ahead and gains considerable ground in the race for Ali's heart.
An expert equestrian, Ty helps hapless horseman Chris L. This does not escape Ali's attention and admiration and she later rewards Ty, in the Hot Spring of Ardor (TM).
PICKLED PORK
Ali is feeling no pain as she strips down to her bikini and jumps into the steamy lake, giggling and raising the men's...hopes.
HALF MOON PIE
The men put their modesty behind them and strip down at The Blue Lagoon. The moon briefly goes behind a black censorship square.
BEEF STEW
Ali stews about whether she will be loved back. Chris Harrison has a beef with her lack of confidence and counsels her to take a chance on love.
CAT'S TONGUE COOKIES
Poor Chris N. There's no chemistry; he's literally at a loss for words and he doesn't even merit lunch twice a year.
THAT'S A WRAP
On the menu next week: Turkey
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Jesse from Jake's season
Just FYI
I don't watch Entertainment Tonight Canada very often but had to check in tonight to hear about Jake/Vienna fallout. Jesse S (can't remember her surname) was a "guest announcer"
Guess I was just surprised, thought she had disappeared into the woodwork.
Just more proof that the only reason these people go on this show is for exposure, and certainly not romance.
I don't watch Entertainment Tonight Canada very often but had to check in tonight to hear about Jake/Vienna fallout. Jesse S (can't remember her surname) was a "guest announcer"
Guess I was just surprised, thought she had disappeared into the woodwork.
Just more proof that the only reason these people go on this show is for exposure, and certainly not romance.
Jillian's Revealing Comments
About the Jake/Vienna break up, Jillian tells the media:
“People think that [they] are just reality stars, relationships come and go, or they did it for publicity.
But the truth is someone is hurting here… Maybe [it's] both of them, and that saddens me. Even if everyone thought they ‘weren’t meant to be,’ they wanted to be, or wanted to prove they could be. And it is always heartbreaking when your goals or dreams don’t quite amount up to what you wanted them to be.
I send big hugs to both of them and hope their hearts heal quickly, and people are easy on them. Again, to remind people who are quick to judge — they are just regular people, who really believed in love.”
Sounds like she could be talking about herself and Ed, who are going through a "rough patch" at the moment, apparently exacerbated by alcohol.
Jillian has said she wants to take a break from talking to the world through twitter and facebook but she did tell the media that she and Ed have stopped drinking.
Her priority at the moment? A “healthy lifestyle and focusing on things that make [her] happy.”
“People think that [they] are just reality stars, relationships come and go, or they did it for publicity.
But the truth is someone is hurting here… Maybe [it's] both of them, and that saddens me. Even if everyone thought they ‘weren’t meant to be,’ they wanted to be, or wanted to prove they could be. And it is always heartbreaking when your goals or dreams don’t quite amount up to what you wanted them to be.
I send big hugs to both of them and hope their hearts heal quickly, and people are easy on them. Again, to remind people who are quick to judge — they are just regular people, who really believed in love.”
Sounds like she could be talking about herself and Ed, who are going through a "rough patch" at the moment, apparently exacerbated by alcohol.
Jillian has said she wants to take a break from talking to the world through twitter and facebook but she did tell the media that she and Ed have stopped drinking.
Her priority at the moment? A “healthy lifestyle and focusing on things that make [her] happy.”
Monday, June 21, 2010
JAKE AND VIENNA HAVE BROKEN UP
Jake Pavelka & Vienna Girardi: It’s Over!
June 21st, 2010
Author: Mary Beth Quirk
It seems the fairy tale romance that began for Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi on The Bachelor has come to an end.
A rep for the couple confirms to OK! exclusively that “Jake and Vienna have split and appreciate respect for their privacy at this time.”
The shocking news first came out on Saturday at the Children’s Hospital of Orange County Oncology Prom near L.A., where Vienna confessed to Greek actor Gregory Michael that her engagement was over.
“We hit it off and hung out and danced the night away, ” Gregory explains to OK!, adding, “She made it very clear that it was over with Jake.”
A close source to Jake and Vienna — who got engaged in March after he picked her as the winner of ABC’s reality dating contest — also confirmed the break-up.
A rep for ABC had not responded to our request for comment by the time this story was published.
June 21st, 2010
Author: Mary Beth Quirk
It seems the fairy tale romance that began for Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi on The Bachelor has come to an end.
A rep for the couple confirms to OK! exclusively that “Jake and Vienna have split and appreciate respect for their privacy at this time.”
The shocking news first came out on Saturday at the Children’s Hospital of Orange County Oncology Prom near L.A., where Vienna confessed to Greek actor Gregory Michael that her engagement was over.
“We hit it off and hung out and danced the night away, ” Gregory explains to OK!, adding, “She made it very clear that it was over with Jake.”
A close source to Jake and Vienna — who got engaged in March after he picked her as the winner of ABC’s reality dating contest — also confirmed the break-up.
A rep for ABC had not responded to our request for comment by the time this story was published.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
HOT PHOTOS OF BACHELOR PAD CONTESTANTS
There's something here for everyone.
Koala, Jesse is looking fine in his photo.
Jim, Gia's picture is surely going to please you.
Wes seems to have bulked up for the occasion.
Tenley seems to have shed her Disney image, trying to look sultry, with longer hair (extensions? I can't tell the difference between badly dyed stringy hair and extensions anymore).
Craig is looking menacing and as 'dangerous' as ever, ready to lay into the Weatherman.
The Weatherman (sorry, Jonathan) is, characteristically covering his nether regions under water (either fearing 'shrinkage' or perhaps, protecting himself from violence from Craig?)
Elizabeth (the tease from Jake's season) has hair that's turned quite gold from the restraint of not letting men kiss her until she's good and ready, lol.
Natalie, the stuffed-bear loving girl from Jason's season, (who has been to every Jesse Cscinsak bach party and cruise) is looking as hopeful as ever that she'll finally get her time in the sun. Judging by what I've seen of her in the past, my best advice to her would be to stay out of the sun -- literally.
David Good is looking buff and manly, with the Man Code conveniently tattooed, for easy reference, on one bicep.
There is a surfeit of Jessies: Sulidis from Jake's season, Kovaks from Jillian's season and Beck, freshly rejected from Ali's season. Sadly, no sign of the one Jesse who has worked tirelessly to keep his name and his Bachelor association in the news: DeAnna's Jesse Csincsak.
Juan Barbieri is there, looking nervously over his shoulder to see if Dave Good is coming at him to thrust above-mentioned tattooed bicep in his face.
Nikki Kaapke from Jason's season is there -- also a fixture at the Csincsak parties -- to remind all the implanted woman what real boobs look like.
Michelle from Jason's season is there, hoping to clear her 'crazy' name (which is probably not what Fleiss had in mind when he casted her).
And, surprisingly, Kiptyn is there. Okay, maybe not that surprisingly, as he has participated in many post-show outings. Maybe he's just there to support his bach family. Or maybe he's there because there have been rumours about him and Tenley recently.
Here's the link. Sorry you can't just click on it (Can someone give me easy instructions on how to do that, for future links?) but you can copy and paste:
http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20055177_20394313,00.html
Koala, Jesse is looking fine in his photo.
Jim, Gia's picture is surely going to please you.
Wes seems to have bulked up for the occasion.
Tenley seems to have shed her Disney image, trying to look sultry, with longer hair (extensions? I can't tell the difference between badly dyed stringy hair and extensions anymore).
Craig is looking menacing and as 'dangerous' as ever, ready to lay into the Weatherman.
The Weatherman (sorry, Jonathan) is, characteristically covering his nether regions under water (either fearing 'shrinkage' or perhaps, protecting himself from violence from Craig?)
Elizabeth (the tease from Jake's season) has hair that's turned quite gold from the restraint of not letting men kiss her until she's good and ready, lol.
Natalie, the stuffed-bear loving girl from Jason's season, (who has been to every Jesse Cscinsak bach party and cruise) is looking as hopeful as ever that she'll finally get her time in the sun. Judging by what I've seen of her in the past, my best advice to her would be to stay out of the sun -- literally.
David Good is looking buff and manly, with the Man Code conveniently tattooed, for easy reference, on one bicep.
There is a surfeit of Jessies: Sulidis from Jake's season, Kovaks from Jillian's season and Beck, freshly rejected from Ali's season. Sadly, no sign of the one Jesse who has worked tirelessly to keep his name and his Bachelor association in the news: DeAnna's Jesse Csincsak.
Juan Barbieri is there, looking nervously over his shoulder to see if Dave Good is coming at him to thrust above-mentioned tattooed bicep in his face.
Nikki Kaapke from Jason's season is there -- also a fixture at the Csincsak parties -- to remind all the implanted woman what real boobs look like.
Michelle from Jason's season is there, hoping to clear her 'crazy' name (which is probably not what Fleiss had in mind when he casted her).
And, surprisingly, Kiptyn is there. Okay, maybe not that surprisingly, as he has participated in many post-show outings. Maybe he's just there to support his bach family. Or maybe he's there because there have been rumours about him and Tenley recently.
Here's the link. Sorry you can't just click on it (Can someone give me easy instructions on how to do that, for future links?) but you can copy and paste:
http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20055177_20394313,00.html
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Unicorn Love – A Fantasy Reality Show
(as if there were any other kind)
Inspired by Chris L and Decogirl
The princess-to-be CinderAli stands before a fairytale castle, wringing her hands. A point of light appears above her, growing larger as it descends. It resolves into an elderly fairy.
Fairy God Mother: My dear are you ready to meet your suitors and find true love?
CinderAli: How can I be ready when I’m dressed in rags?
The fairy waves her wand and CinderAli is dressed in a beautiful blue gown. Bluebirds hover above her and tie a blue ribbon in her hair.
CinderAli: This is wonderful! Do you have it in yellow?
The fairy rolls her eyes but obliges her. With another wave of her wand, the dress turns yellow. The bluebirds remove the ribbon. Two canaries replace it with a yellow ribbon.
Fairy God Mother: Hark! Your suitors approach! I best be gone.
The fairy disappears in a ball of light. A dragon carrying a variety of different fantasy creatures lands beside the princess. A small man in a pointed hat and dark robes approaches her. He reaches behind his back and produces a thistle on a long stem.
Prognosticator: Drats! That was supposed to be a rose!
CinderAli: Are you a sorcerer?
Prognosticator: I haven’t got my license yet. I’m a prognosticator.
CinderAli: So you’re a sorcerer’s apprentice?
Prognosticator: I HATE when people call me that!
He starts to cry.
CinderAli: Sorry!
A large ogre carrying a giant club roughly pushes the prognosticator aside.
Prognosticator: Hey! I’d turn you into a frog if I passed Transmutation!
Ogre: You must be CinderAli.
CinderAli: You must be an ogre.
Ogre: You got a problem with that?
An elf appears riding a unicorn.
Elf: Excuse me ogre. Can I steal the princess away?
Ogre: Suit ye’self.
Elf: Why is it you guys all have Scottish accents anyway?
The ogre shakes his head and lumbers off.
Elf: Princess CinderAli, will you ride away with me?
He reaches down and lifts her atop the unicorn in front of him.
CinderAli: Oh my!
A cat in boots and a swashbuckling hat strides up. He speaks in a sexy Spanish accent.
Puss-in-Boots: Elf, I fear that you get ahead of yourself.
The cat draws his sword and cuts the saddle strap on the unicorn. The elf and the princess fall. The cat adroitly catches the princess. He sets her on her feet. She stands and addresses the crowd that has gathered around her.
CinderAli: We’re going to have a wonderful time here! On our group date, I’ll be kidnapped by an evil magician and you will all have to save me. Next, I will be put under a sleep spell and the one whose kiss awakens me will get extra points. Finally, the suitor who can retrieve the Rose of Continuation from the fabled Hot Spring of Ardor will win my heart.
Inspired by Chris L and Decogirl
The princess-to-be CinderAli stands before a fairytale castle, wringing her hands. A point of light appears above her, growing larger as it descends. It resolves into an elderly fairy.
Fairy God Mother: My dear are you ready to meet your suitors and find true love?
CinderAli: How can I be ready when I’m dressed in rags?
The fairy waves her wand and CinderAli is dressed in a beautiful blue gown. Bluebirds hover above her and tie a blue ribbon in her hair.
CinderAli: This is wonderful! Do you have it in yellow?
The fairy rolls her eyes but obliges her. With another wave of her wand, the dress turns yellow. The bluebirds remove the ribbon. Two canaries replace it with a yellow ribbon.
Fairy God Mother: Hark! Your suitors approach! I best be gone.
The fairy disappears in a ball of light. A dragon carrying a variety of different fantasy creatures lands beside the princess. A small man in a pointed hat and dark robes approaches her. He reaches behind his back and produces a thistle on a long stem.
Prognosticator: Drats! That was supposed to be a rose!
CinderAli: Are you a sorcerer?
Prognosticator: I haven’t got my license yet. I’m a prognosticator.
CinderAli: So you’re a sorcerer’s apprentice?
Prognosticator: I HATE when people call me that!
He starts to cry.
CinderAli: Sorry!
A large ogre carrying a giant club roughly pushes the prognosticator aside.
Prognosticator: Hey! I’d turn you into a frog if I passed Transmutation!
Ogre: You must be CinderAli.
CinderAli: You must be an ogre.
Ogre: You got a problem with that?
An elf appears riding a unicorn.
Elf: Excuse me ogre. Can I steal the princess away?
Ogre: Suit ye’self.
Elf: Why is it you guys all have Scottish accents anyway?
The ogre shakes his head and lumbers off.
Elf: Princess CinderAli, will you ride away with me?
He reaches down and lifts her atop the unicorn in front of him.
CinderAli: Oh my!
A cat in boots and a swashbuckling hat strides up. He speaks in a sexy Spanish accent.
Puss-in-Boots: Elf, I fear that you get ahead of yourself.
The cat draws his sword and cuts the saddle strap on the unicorn. The elf and the princess fall. The cat adroitly catches the princess. He sets her on her feet. She stands and addresses the crowd that has gathered around her.
CinderAli: We’re going to have a wonderful time here! On our group date, I’ll be kidnapped by an evil magician and you will all have to save me. Next, I will be put under a sleep spell and the one whose kiss awakens me will get extra points. Finally, the suitor who can retrieve the Rose of Continuation from the fabled Hot Spring of Ardor will win my heart.
Gia's commentary on Episode 4
I finally watched the episode online and discovered that they have one with commentary by Gia. They show messages in a side window that are timed to appear with the referenced events. I would have preferred a separate video showing her make the comments (preferably larger than the show window), but one can’t have everything. The website claims that this comment process will be opened up to everyone. I would guess that some of us will not be invited to participate.
Gia’s comments are not deep or even especially personal (she doesn’t say anything unkind about anyone, even Kasey). But it was Gia! For example, recall that Kasey attempted to wax poetic (Belle, could you give him some lessons, please?) about how Ali left her cocoon and became a butterfly. Gia’s entry was: “Aaaaaaaw Kasey, you are so sweet but that kind of talk hasn't worked with the ladies since the 1800's”.
I thought the funniest thing she said was about the Lion King duet. First she commented about his ample musculature and how cute he looked in the loincloth. When the rest of the guys expressed their jealousy, she wrote: “Oh stop, you're not jealous that Roberto is spending all of his time with Ali -- you're jealous because you want to wear his little costume.”
During the post-lobster birthday call to his father, Gia became smitten. Her comment: “Chris just jumped to the top of my list. A great guy with a great family.” I noted in a post in the first episode that Chris L seemed suitable to Gia. It seems there may be something to that. If Ali (or Fleiss) doesn’t snatch him up, perhaps Gia will.
Mara, where are you? You’re missing Gia-talk!
Gia’s comments are not deep or even especially personal (she doesn’t say anything unkind about anyone, even Kasey). But it was Gia! For example, recall that Kasey attempted to wax poetic (Belle, could you give him some lessons, please?) about how Ali left her cocoon and became a butterfly. Gia’s entry was: “Aaaaaaaw Kasey, you are so sweet but that kind of talk hasn't worked with the ladies since the 1800's”.
I thought the funniest thing she said was about the Lion King duet. First she commented about his ample musculature and how cute he looked in the loincloth. When the rest of the guys expressed their jealousy, she wrote: “Oh stop, you're not jealous that Roberto is spending all of his time with Ali -- you're jealous because you want to wear his little costume.”
During the post-lobster birthday call to his father, Gia became smitten. Her comment: “Chris just jumped to the top of my list. A great guy with a great family.” I noted in a post in the first episode that Chris L seemed suitable to Gia. It seems there may be something to that. If Ali (or Fleiss) doesn’t snatch him up, perhaps Gia will.
Mara, where are you? You’re missing Gia-talk!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Marianna's Musings: Calling all bachboard peeps!
Yes, this is the right place to find Marianna's Musings. Welcome. Hope you'll stay a while and post your thoughts.
Marianna's Musings Thread: Calling Ocean, Chi, Ironcat, Dreamy, Jul, Ugh, whose, cherrries, kybach, barbu, and so many more!
Hope you googled to find this. Looking forward to you all (and others whom I've temporarily forgotten to mention) will come and post here.
Here we can't be muzzled by the BB mods.
Marianna
Here we can't be muzzled by the BB mods.
Marianna
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Marianna's Musings: Ali's Episode 4
SIX IN THE CITY
Six bachelors go to New York City to watch Roberto hoist Ali up on a high wire and wrap himself around her.
THE LOIN KING
In an unabashed attempt at getting more female (and no doubt some male -- it IS a Broadway show, after all) viewers swooning, the producers have Roberto clad in a fancy loincloth and not much else.
Can you feel his love tonight?
SOMEWHERE, OVER THE RAINBOW
Ali gets acquainted with Chris L.'s parents. Thanks to rainbows and AT&T, he is never too far from mom and dad. Ali hears about wonderful mom and speaks to dad. She is is utterly charmed and touched by the whole family and Chris's chance at F1 just gets better and better.
A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
There Fleiss goes, blatantly ripping off movie scenes again.
Kasey and Ali have a one-on-one date at the American Museum of Natural History. Kasey is so cringingly cheesy that he is one American who will soon naturally be history.
LOVE SICK
Ali must have a propensity to lose her voice when she gets sick. Remember her hoarse whisper as she presented Jake with a peacock feather at the Meet & Greet?
Despite Ali's contagious condition, Frank, Kirk and Chris L. are eager to kiss her, hug her, lie in bed with her and bring her soup. Caution is thrown to the wind and there is much exchanging of germy saliva.
A new virus, the F1N1, (also known as the 'swoon flu') is propagated.
UNICORN LOVE
Chris L. tells Ali the story of a land where Cupid rides a unicorn through fields of flowers, brandishing a sword and a rose and stone-encrusted shield. If we listen carefully, we can hear the chirping of Tenley Molzahn and the bluebirds of happiness. Cute Disney mice freely roam Bachelor mansions and scamper through the fields with the unicorns.
It's a beautiful place. Kasey lives here.
CAPTAIN KIRK
Kirk boldly goes where no man has gone before (this early in the game, anyway). This will now be the second time he and Ali are in or near a bed together.
Last week, he maximized his rolling-around-in-bed time with Ali, even after the director yelled cut. This week, he adroitly escorts an ill Ali to her suite and manages to tuck her into bed (but not before lots of cuddling and caressing).
KRAZY KASEY?
Either Mike Fleiss has outdone himself with editing and provoking the contestants or we really need someone to guard and protect Kasey from himself.
From his bizarre and untimely bouts of singing to his wrist tattoo representing Ali and the eleven remaining men (because she's his true love and the men are his blood brothers for life), Kasey wins the prize for most Krazy Kontestant ever.
GOING TO THE DOGS
Country boy Jesse is rejected by city girl Ali. She chooses Kasey over him and he bounds home happily to his dogs.
ALI MAY BE UNDER THE WEATHER BUT SHE'S OVER THE WEATHERMAN
There is a distinct chill in the air as Ali says goodbye to the weatherman. A possible storm was brewing as Jonathan's face clouded over and there appeared to be a slight chance of precipitation. However, he put up strong front and left, dry-eyed.
The skies are sunny again as the remaining bachelors discover they are next going to Iceland.
Six bachelors go to New York City to watch Roberto hoist Ali up on a high wire and wrap himself around her.
THE LOIN KING
In an unabashed attempt at getting more female (and no doubt some male -- it IS a Broadway show, after all) viewers swooning, the producers have Roberto clad in a fancy loincloth and not much else.
Can you feel his love tonight?
SOMEWHERE, OVER THE RAINBOW
Ali gets acquainted with Chris L.'s parents. Thanks to rainbows and AT&T, he is never too far from mom and dad. Ali hears about wonderful mom and speaks to dad. She is is utterly charmed and touched by the whole family and Chris's chance at F1 just gets better and better.
A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
There Fleiss goes, blatantly ripping off movie scenes again.
Kasey and Ali have a one-on-one date at the American Museum of Natural History. Kasey is so cringingly cheesy that he is one American who will soon naturally be history.
LOVE SICK
Ali must have a propensity to lose her voice when she gets sick. Remember her hoarse whisper as she presented Jake with a peacock feather at the Meet & Greet?
Despite Ali's contagious condition, Frank, Kirk and Chris L. are eager to kiss her, hug her, lie in bed with her and bring her soup. Caution is thrown to the wind and there is much exchanging of germy saliva.
A new virus, the F1N1, (also known as the 'swoon flu') is propagated.
UNICORN LOVE
Chris L. tells Ali the story of a land where Cupid rides a unicorn through fields of flowers, brandishing a sword and a rose and stone-encrusted shield. If we listen carefully, we can hear the chirping of Tenley Molzahn and the bluebirds of happiness. Cute Disney mice freely roam Bachelor mansions and scamper through the fields with the unicorns.
It's a beautiful place. Kasey lives here.
CAPTAIN KIRK
Kirk boldly goes where no man has gone before (this early in the game, anyway). This will now be the second time he and Ali are in or near a bed together.
Last week, he maximized his rolling-around-in-bed time with Ali, even after the director yelled cut. This week, he adroitly escorts an ill Ali to her suite and manages to tuck her into bed (but not before lots of cuddling and caressing).
KRAZY KASEY?
Either Mike Fleiss has outdone himself with editing and provoking the contestants or we really need someone to guard and protect Kasey from himself.
From his bizarre and untimely bouts of singing to his wrist tattoo representing Ali and the eleven remaining men (because she's his true love and the men are his blood brothers for life), Kasey wins the prize for most Krazy Kontestant ever.
GOING TO THE DOGS
Country boy Jesse is rejected by city girl Ali. She chooses Kasey over him and he bounds home happily to his dogs.
ALI MAY BE UNDER THE WEATHER BUT SHE'S OVER THE WEATHERMAN
There is a distinct chill in the air as Ali says goodbye to the weatherman. A possible storm was brewing as Jonathan's face clouded over and there appeared to be a slight chance of precipitation. However, he put up strong front and left, dry-eyed.
The skies are sunny again as the remaining bachelors discover they are next going to Iceland.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Have we come to a JED-end in the road?
On June 09, US Weekly said this about Jill and Ed going through a "rough patch":
"Like any other couple, our life is not perfect," Bachelorette star Jillian Harris tells US about her life with Ed Swiderski, 30. "We still love each other but there have been tiny bumps in the road". (One source of tension: "I like to be a hermit and Ed likes to go out with his friends."
Still, the designer, 30, who lives with her fiance of one year in Chicago says she's proud of how they've worked through their issues by communicating and giving each other space when needed.
And while their planned move to San Francisco is on hold, a wedding is not.
"I don't know when we're going to get married," she says. "But we're still moving forward."
*******
On June 8, the day before the US Weekly article appeared, Ed said this is on his website:
The Break-up
We were contacted last week by some tabloids, then a few messages tipping off some hot news coming in. This happens from time to time, though we have been doing a lot of press lately due to the new season, so it's expected.
Allegedly, Jill and I broke up and I have been seen "partying" and "around other girls." This is completely absurd. I mean, how in the world is this possible that I am seen out late...and I'm in the presence of women? The nerve of these people...just can't believe it!
Wait. Well maybe I can believe it. Last I checked I do not live in a monastery, and I'm definitely a bit of a frat boy at heart. Let's face it, I have fourteen of my college buddies living within two square miles of me. And I went to Michigan State, so these guys don't mess around. Not to mention Chicago is one of the world's largest adult playgrounds (and the most bars per capita in the US -very proud of this one). Don't get me wrong, I'm not out dating strippers and wearing Ed Hardy shirts either.
That said, Jill and I have had a few bumps here and there. Believe it or not, we actually have disagreed a few times too (I know, shocking!). And we are working through these things together. It's definitely not always easy, but we always stay positive.
There will always be rumors I'm sure. And there isn't a whole lot we can do about that. So keep 'em coming so I can restart my 15 minute clock over to the right! :)
******
And here's what Jillian tweeted the day before the article came out:
Good Morning Tabloids! Save your airmiles & your time, your working on a dry story ... @eswiderski & I are still going strong!
5:06 AM Jun 9th via web
And the day the article came out:
Had to laugh...Just read US weekly. It's not so much that I am a hermit... I'm just over so the bar scene. Especially city bars. Bleh
12:39 PM Jun 9th via Twitterrific
and
I do miss him, speculation does not drive actions, can't worry bout what others think, i'd go crazy! Lol thnk u 4 ur concern tho
However, she also tweeted cryptic messages such as these:
Exactly what the doctor ordered
1,276,463,577,000.00 via Twitterrific
and
Thank you, to all of you who have warmed my heart today... You know who you are.
1,276,555,571,000.00 via Twitterrific
and
thank you Gina... I needed to hear that today. Thanks for the reminder to keep it up. Xox
1,276,269,545,000.00 via Twitterrific
Also, she tweeted a link to her most recent interview, where she conspicuously refrains from mentioning Ed or her upcoming wedding at all (once the subject of oh so many tweets).
Check it out:
http://ow.ly/1YSL4
Finally, she appeared on Breakfast Television in Vancouver a day or so ago, waving her hand around, showing that she is not wearing her engagement ring.
What does all this mean? Is JED dead or alive?
"Like any other couple, our life is not perfect," Bachelorette star Jillian Harris tells US about her life with Ed Swiderski, 30. "We still love each other but there have been tiny bumps in the road". (One source of tension: "I like to be a hermit and Ed likes to go out with his friends."
Still, the designer, 30, who lives with her fiance of one year in Chicago says she's proud of how they've worked through their issues by communicating and giving each other space when needed.
And while their planned move to San Francisco is on hold, a wedding is not.
"I don't know when we're going to get married," she says. "But we're still moving forward."
*******
On June 8, the day before the US Weekly article appeared, Ed said this is on his website:
The Break-up
We were contacted last week by some tabloids, then a few messages tipping off some hot news coming in. This happens from time to time, though we have been doing a lot of press lately due to the new season, so it's expected.
Allegedly, Jill and I broke up and I have been seen "partying" and "around other girls." This is completely absurd. I mean, how in the world is this possible that I am seen out late...and I'm in the presence of women? The nerve of these people...just can't believe it!
Wait. Well maybe I can believe it. Last I checked I do not live in a monastery, and I'm definitely a bit of a frat boy at heart. Let's face it, I have fourteen of my college buddies living within two square miles of me. And I went to Michigan State, so these guys don't mess around. Not to mention Chicago is one of the world's largest adult playgrounds (and the most bars per capita in the US -very proud of this one). Don't get me wrong, I'm not out dating strippers and wearing Ed Hardy shirts either.
That said, Jill and I have had a few bumps here and there. Believe it or not, we actually have disagreed a few times too (I know, shocking!). And we are working through these things together. It's definitely not always easy, but we always stay positive.
There will always be rumors I'm sure. And there isn't a whole lot we can do about that. So keep 'em coming so I can restart my 15 minute clock over to the right! :)
******
And here's what Jillian tweeted the day before the article came out:
Good Morning Tabloids! Save your airmiles & your time, your working on a dry story ... @eswiderski & I are still going strong!
5:06 AM Jun 9th via web
And the day the article came out:
Had to laugh...Just read US weekly. It's not so much that I am a hermit... I'm just over so the bar scene. Especially city bars. Bleh
12:39 PM Jun 9th via Twitterrific
and
I do miss him, speculation does not drive actions, can't worry bout what others think, i'd go crazy! Lol thnk u 4 ur concern tho
However, she also tweeted cryptic messages such as these:
Exactly what the doctor ordered
1,276,463,577,000.00 via Twitterrific
and
Thank you, to all of you who have warmed my heart today... You know who you are.
1,276,555,571,000.00 via Twitterrific
and
thank you Gina... I needed to hear that today. Thanks for the reminder to keep it up. Xox
1,276,269,545,000.00 via Twitterrific
Also, she tweeted a link to her most recent interview, where she conspicuously refrains from mentioning Ed or her upcoming wedding at all (once the subject of oh so many tweets).
Check it out:
http://ow.ly/1YSL4
Finally, she appeared on Breakfast Television in Vancouver a day or so ago, waving her hand around, showing that she is not wearing her engagement ring.
What does all this mean? Is JED dead or alive?
Chris Harrison blogs Ali's Episode 4
Jun 15 2010 01:00 AM ET
Chris Harrison blogs ‘The Bachelorette’: Episode 4
by Chris Harrison
I’ve entitled this week’s episode “Guard and Protect Your Heart.” This was easily the best and yes, most dramatic episode so far. Before we dive in let’s answer some of your questions from last week. I love that somebody mentioned that none of the guys have hair on their chest. This person went on to ask if this is natural. Obviously, the answer is no. Most of the guys trim, shave, or wax their chest hair. I took a very informal poll (I asked one woman) and discovered that if a guy has a great body, then this is preferred. Now I pose this question to you: Is the hairless look preferred by most women, or do you stand by the old adage “Real men have chest hair”? Leave your comments below, and we’ll continue this debate next week.
Another commenter asked where the guys go after they are let go. The short answer is they go home. Obviously, they spend the night wherever we are, but they go home shortly after being eliminated. I know all the talk today around the water cooler (does anybody really ever talk around an actual water cooler?) is about Kasey and his actions this week. I need a minute to gather my thoughts and try to digest all of what I just saw, so let’s start with the other dates and then we’ll build up to Kasey.
The producers and staff know I love them, but I want to once again give major props to all those who create and put these dates together. This particular episode was visually awesome to watch. The Lion King group date on Broadway was unlike any date I’ve seen on this show. It’s incredible that the folks at The Lion King and Minskoff Theater allowed us on their stage for the date, but to actually permit us to be a part of their show is mind-blowing.
The first thing that stood out to me on this date was Jesse. Holy crap dude, you’ve got some vocal chops. Where have those been all season? Jesse’s singing blew everyone away, but it was Roberto who pulled out the smooth move and stole the show, literally. One of the guys brought up a great point about Roberto and Ali. They have shared some crazy moments together. Walking across a tightrope in downtown LA, performing in The Lion King. Those are the types of moments that relationships are built on, and the guys know this, and it’s killing them.
Ali got really sick the night of the Lion King date. She fought it off as long as she could, but the travel and schedule finally caught up with her. She was completely wiped out and lost her voice. She was such a trouper for rallying to celebrate Chris’ birthday with him. What did I tell you from day one about Chris L? I told you that you would fall in love with him. Well, if you haven’t fallen for this guy yet, you’re watching the wrong show. He’s such a solid man. He has good values and puts his family above all else; that’s a quality to be admired, and something I strongly believe in as well.
Okay, I’ve taken a deep breath: Let’s talk about Kasey. I’ve seen it all on this show. Every guy has his own style and his own way of sharing his feelings and love for a woman. Who am I to judge whether it’s right or wrong? So while I won’t say Kasey’s style is wrong, I have to ask, what is up with the singing? Once, okay, I’ll give you that. But four, five times? I loved the look on Ali’s face. She was speechless. It was so incredibly awkward for her. But at the end of that date she just chalked it up to a nervous, sweet guy who was trying too hard. So let me get this straight — a woman tells you to slow down and just relax, show her who you really are, and you go get a tattoo? What the *@#%? Hard to believe, I’m sure, but I am not a tattoo guy. Never had one and never will. With that said, I do know that if you are a tattoo guy, you probably shouldn’t get a permanent tattoo as a token of your love for a girl who’s dating not only you, but 10 other guys, too. Let’s take this a step further and talk about the placement of the tattoo. Again, I’m no expert, but on your wrist? At least Kasey didn’t get it on the small of his back. He explained the tattoo as a shield to protect Ali’s heart with eleven diamonds representing each guy still on the show. I’m pretty positive if Ali had seen this tattoo she wouldn’t have given him a rose. But Frank inadvertently saved Kasey by keeping him from exposing his new artwork to Ali. This ended up costing Jesse and Weatherman another week on the road to love. Eventually, Kasey will show Ali his new tat and we’ll see how she reacts.
Speaking of the road to love, as you heard Ali say, next stop is the land of fire and ice. Thanks to the active volcano, this trip was heavy on the fire. This week’s episode was really good, but fasten your seatbelts: The season is really about to take off.
Before signing off, I’d like to add a quick note about our new show Bachelor Pad. I’d like to officially welcome my friend Melissa Rycroft into the family as she will be helping me out as my co-host for the new show. We’ve just started production, and I can tell you already it’s going to be fantastic and unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. The show will air on ABC on Monday nights beginning August 9, following Ali’s season of The Bachelorette. Keep your comments coming and a quick shout out to the Uncle Julio girls. See, I always keep my word! As always you can find me on Twitter @chrisbharrison and Facebook.
ew.com
Chris Harrison blogs ‘The Bachelorette’: Episode 4
by Chris Harrison
I’ve entitled this week’s episode “Guard and Protect Your Heart.” This was easily the best and yes, most dramatic episode so far. Before we dive in let’s answer some of your questions from last week. I love that somebody mentioned that none of the guys have hair on their chest. This person went on to ask if this is natural. Obviously, the answer is no. Most of the guys trim, shave, or wax their chest hair. I took a very informal poll (I asked one woman) and discovered that if a guy has a great body, then this is preferred. Now I pose this question to you: Is the hairless look preferred by most women, or do you stand by the old adage “Real men have chest hair”? Leave your comments below, and we’ll continue this debate next week.
Another commenter asked where the guys go after they are let go. The short answer is they go home. Obviously, they spend the night wherever we are, but they go home shortly after being eliminated. I know all the talk today around the water cooler (does anybody really ever talk around an actual water cooler?) is about Kasey and his actions this week. I need a minute to gather my thoughts and try to digest all of what I just saw, so let’s start with the other dates and then we’ll build up to Kasey.
The producers and staff know I love them, but I want to once again give major props to all those who create and put these dates together. This particular episode was visually awesome to watch. The Lion King group date on Broadway was unlike any date I’ve seen on this show. It’s incredible that the folks at The Lion King and Minskoff Theater allowed us on their stage for the date, but to actually permit us to be a part of their show is mind-blowing.
The first thing that stood out to me on this date was Jesse. Holy crap dude, you’ve got some vocal chops. Where have those been all season? Jesse’s singing blew everyone away, but it was Roberto who pulled out the smooth move and stole the show, literally. One of the guys brought up a great point about Roberto and Ali. They have shared some crazy moments together. Walking across a tightrope in downtown LA, performing in The Lion King. Those are the types of moments that relationships are built on, and the guys know this, and it’s killing them.
Ali got really sick the night of the Lion King date. She fought it off as long as she could, but the travel and schedule finally caught up with her. She was completely wiped out and lost her voice. She was such a trouper for rallying to celebrate Chris’ birthday with him. What did I tell you from day one about Chris L? I told you that you would fall in love with him. Well, if you haven’t fallen for this guy yet, you’re watching the wrong show. He’s such a solid man. He has good values and puts his family above all else; that’s a quality to be admired, and something I strongly believe in as well.
Okay, I’ve taken a deep breath: Let’s talk about Kasey. I’ve seen it all on this show. Every guy has his own style and his own way of sharing his feelings and love for a woman. Who am I to judge whether it’s right or wrong? So while I won’t say Kasey’s style is wrong, I have to ask, what is up with the singing? Once, okay, I’ll give you that. But four, five times? I loved the look on Ali’s face. She was speechless. It was so incredibly awkward for her. But at the end of that date she just chalked it up to a nervous, sweet guy who was trying too hard. So let me get this straight — a woman tells you to slow down and just relax, show her who you really are, and you go get a tattoo? What the *@#%? Hard to believe, I’m sure, but I am not a tattoo guy. Never had one and never will. With that said, I do know that if you are a tattoo guy, you probably shouldn’t get a permanent tattoo as a token of your love for a girl who’s dating not only you, but 10 other guys, too. Let’s take this a step further and talk about the placement of the tattoo. Again, I’m no expert, but on your wrist? At least Kasey didn’t get it on the small of his back. He explained the tattoo as a shield to protect Ali’s heart with eleven diamonds representing each guy still on the show. I’m pretty positive if Ali had seen this tattoo she wouldn’t have given him a rose. But Frank inadvertently saved Kasey by keeping him from exposing his new artwork to Ali. This ended up costing Jesse and Weatherman another week on the road to love. Eventually, Kasey will show Ali his new tat and we’ll see how she reacts.
Speaking of the road to love, as you heard Ali say, next stop is the land of fire and ice. Thanks to the active volcano, this trip was heavy on the fire. This week’s episode was really good, but fasten your seatbelts: The season is really about to take off.
Before signing off, I’d like to add a quick note about our new show Bachelor Pad. I’d like to officially welcome my friend Melissa Rycroft into the family as she will be helping me out as my co-host for the new show. We’ve just started production, and I can tell you already it’s going to be fantastic and unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. The show will air on ABC on Monday nights beginning August 9, following Ali’s season of The Bachelorette. Keep your comments coming and a quick shout out to the Uncle Julio girls. See, I always keep my word! As always you can find me on Twitter @chrisbharrison and Facebook.
ew.com
Jillian diminishes The Bachelorette in favour of EMHE
From People magazine, June 14, 2010
Jillian Harris Says Extreme Makeover Gig Will Come Naturally
As an interior designer, Jillian Harris used her expertise to help rebuild a home on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Now, the former star of The Bachelorette says she’s going to bring something else to table when she joins the show’s team in its new season — heart.
“I grew up in a really small town, with a mom who always taught me to give back, that it was our responsibility to help others,” she told PEOPLE Friday at the CMA Music Festival in Nashville.
Her new job, she adds, is a far cry from another reality show she participated in. “Bachelor was just something that happened to me. It wasn’t anything I was looking for or wanting. It was a fluke, a lark. It was fun to do,” the Vancouver native says. “I got to travel around the world, work with great people who are still friends, and kiss five guys in one day! But it’s not really who I am.”
She did, of course, get to do The Bachelorette and meet her fiancé Ed Swiderski. Still, Harris insists, “Extreme Makeover is much more who I am.”
Jillian Harris Says Extreme Makeover Gig Will Come Naturally
As an interior designer, Jillian Harris used her expertise to help rebuild a home on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Now, the former star of The Bachelorette says she’s going to bring something else to table when she joins the show’s team in its new season — heart.
“I grew up in a really small town, with a mom who always taught me to give back, that it was our responsibility to help others,” she told PEOPLE Friday at the CMA Music Festival in Nashville.
Her new job, she adds, is a far cry from another reality show she participated in. “Bachelor was just something that happened to me. It wasn’t anything I was looking for or wanting. It was a fluke, a lark. It was fun to do,” the Vancouver native says. “I got to travel around the world, work with great people who are still friends, and kiss five guys in one day! But it’s not really who I am.”
She did, of course, get to do The Bachelorette and meet her fiancé Ed Swiderski. Still, Harris insists, “Extreme Makeover is much more who I am.”
Jesse Csincsak blogs Ali's Episode 4
I don't read any of the spoilers or reality forums about the show no chat rooms, no insiders nothing at all....
THESE ARE SIMPLY MY OPINIONS ABOUT THE SHOW..... NOT FACTS JUST MY OPINIONS FROM MY EXPERIENCES I HAD ON THE SHOW.....
IS IT JUST ME OR SHOULD SOMEBODY CALL AMERICAN IDOL Good lord all of these guys are aspiring singers....
With that being said here we go....
Once the guys leave the house it becomes pretty insane...There is even more people involved with the production watching what you do at all times and the time on lock down is even longer you don't have a Giant Compound to wonder around the yard you are locked up in a Massive hotel room with all the guys on the show... You can only watch so many movies and do so many pushups before you go insane... Even if you are traveling to a place that one of the guys use to live it doesn't matter they aren't gonna let you go anywhere near your house or your friends ITS LOCK DOWN TIME....
Robert from Bachelorette Season #4 Spent over 700 bucks just on movies and room service in one 3 day period... THAT SHOWS HOW BORING IT CAN GET...
The guys that are themselves 24/7 on camera and off are gonna start to do really well on the show at this point and the guys with something to prove or promote are gonna go home... Oh yeah when the guys go on dates and always have flowers and gifts for Ali Its all staged the producers hand that stuff to you when you leave to meet her for your date... WE ARE ON LOCK DOWN WE CAN'T GO TO THE STORE FOR FLOWERS AND SOUP ???? REALLY COME ON !!!!
Ali Said she is under the weather on tonights episode... Well thats because she is having 18 - 20 hour days not sleeping much, Traveling a ton and is under an immense amount of stress.. This Process will seriously take 7 years off your life in 2 months....
Notice that you almost never see Logos or brand names on the show they are always covered in Black tape... But when you do they promote the crap out of them...Tonights was the Andaz Hotel- Everytime they promote a Logo or Brand is because they are doing a trade Agreement with that Company.. So while they were in NYC they Stayed at the Andaz hotel for free of course cause that's how the trade works... When you can give a companies Logo Prime time TV coverage thats worth LOTS & LOTS OF MONEY !
There seems to be more and more Helicopter dates on this show but one thing you almost never see is that to do a Helicopter date there has to be two helicopters.... One is for the Bachelor/ette and his or her date and the other is to get all the cool arial camera shots for the show... Tonight we got to see a glimpse of the second heli as the first one was landing to pick up Ali and Kasey...
So for me when I watch the show I am always looking for RED FLAGS or Body Language that most people don't know how to not hide tonight I saw a red flag and it was from Ali... When the male hair dresser in the red Plaid shirt asked Ali if she felt like she was gonna end up with one of the guys that was here trying to win her heart SHE TOTALLY HESITATED and that was a red flag for me ....
OK Now onto the Guys:
KASEY: Singing ??? Ali said it ( CHEESEY ) !!! The Look on Alis face was priceless... She cant even hide that the producers are keeping this guy here at this point just for his drama factor... She wants him gone so bad she can taste it... My advice is if your not gonna sing to a girl everyday when you are dating her don't do it... Be yourself don't do anything you wouldn't normally do... Then he has the balls to say I SNUCK OUT TO GET A TATTOO ??? REALLY BRO - You really snuck out to get a tattoo camera crew, producers and all WOW... YOU ARE SNEAKY .... WOW I think he forgot 15 million people were gonna watch and Analyze or he wouldn't have said that ?? That was sooooo PRODUCED it wasn't even funny..
ROBERTO: This guy is very Genuine He's Just being himself... That gos along way especially with the guys.. You cant hate a guy for being a rad guy.. Hes kinda like the Kiptyn Locke of the season.. I loved when he said ( You cant describe what these experiences are like in words ) Hes totally right and thats why all of us cast members love to get together and compare stories Because we can all Relate...
FRANK: This Guy is Funny I love his Commentary making fun of the other guys its hilarious... He kinda reminds me of my Boy Jason Mesnick a little bit... Both Very Genuine Dudes...
KIRK: WELL DONE MAN ! First he let her know it was ok to go to bed early because she was sick then offers to walk her to her room... WELL PLAYED.. PS: Again if you are watching it on TV THEN THEY ARE NOT ALONE !!!! There were probably 2 -3 Camera crews in that room with them so probably around 8 -10 people there with them watching the whole thing unravel...
CHRIS L: This guy is also great dude... I love how family oriented he is ... You can see it when he talks about his mom or dad... Ali even dropped a little hint after talking to his dad on the phone she said I would love to marry into a family like that... I could see Ali ending up with him he is like an East Coast version of her life... San Fran is on the water just like Cape Cod... They have Alot in common I could see them ending up together...Nice work on the rose buddy...
JUSTIN: I LOVED when he said I am going on record to call him a fibber ! THERE ARE CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BRO.... Everything is on record did you forget your filming a TV SHOW ? Stop trying to get other guys in trouble and just DO YOU... Rated R got his man hahhahahahahahahah Right.....
JESSE: Loved how REAL he was when he got kicked off he said I can't wait to go home and see my dogs... Cool guy... Call me anytime bro we can grab a drink...
WEATHERMAN: Loved the shot of you watching Ali and Craig R on their 1 on 1 time hahhahaha Then you butted in and didn't even follow through with the steal ??? Dude Again Confidence is KEY... SUNNY SKIES Are in your future bro JUST DO YOU.... Cant wait to see you on Bachelor Pad bro Good luck...
NEXT WEEK ICELAND...
THESE ARE SIMPLY MY OPINIONS ABOUT THE SHOW..... NOT FACTS JUST MY OPINIONS FROM MY EXPERIENCES I HAD ON THE SHOW.....
IS IT JUST ME OR SHOULD SOMEBODY CALL AMERICAN IDOL Good lord all of these guys are aspiring singers....
With that being said here we go....
Once the guys leave the house it becomes pretty insane...There is even more people involved with the production watching what you do at all times and the time on lock down is even longer you don't have a Giant Compound to wonder around the yard you are locked up in a Massive hotel room with all the guys on the show... You can only watch so many movies and do so many pushups before you go insane... Even if you are traveling to a place that one of the guys use to live it doesn't matter they aren't gonna let you go anywhere near your house or your friends ITS LOCK DOWN TIME....
Robert from Bachelorette Season #4 Spent over 700 bucks just on movies and room service in one 3 day period... THAT SHOWS HOW BORING IT CAN GET...
The guys that are themselves 24/7 on camera and off are gonna start to do really well on the show at this point and the guys with something to prove or promote are gonna go home... Oh yeah when the guys go on dates and always have flowers and gifts for Ali Its all staged the producers hand that stuff to you when you leave to meet her for your date... WE ARE ON LOCK DOWN WE CAN'T GO TO THE STORE FOR FLOWERS AND SOUP ???? REALLY COME ON !!!!
Ali Said she is under the weather on tonights episode... Well thats because she is having 18 - 20 hour days not sleeping much, Traveling a ton and is under an immense amount of stress.. This Process will seriously take 7 years off your life in 2 months....
Notice that you almost never see Logos or brand names on the show they are always covered in Black tape... But when you do they promote the crap out of them...Tonights was the Andaz Hotel- Everytime they promote a Logo or Brand is because they are doing a trade Agreement with that Company.. So while they were in NYC they Stayed at the Andaz hotel for free of course cause that's how the trade works... When you can give a companies Logo Prime time TV coverage thats worth LOTS & LOTS OF MONEY !
There seems to be more and more Helicopter dates on this show but one thing you almost never see is that to do a Helicopter date there has to be two helicopters.... One is for the Bachelor/ette and his or her date and the other is to get all the cool arial camera shots for the show... Tonight we got to see a glimpse of the second heli as the first one was landing to pick up Ali and Kasey...
So for me when I watch the show I am always looking for RED FLAGS or Body Language that most people don't know how to not hide tonight I saw a red flag and it was from Ali... When the male hair dresser in the red Plaid shirt asked Ali if she felt like she was gonna end up with one of the guys that was here trying to win her heart SHE TOTALLY HESITATED and that was a red flag for me ....
OK Now onto the Guys:
KASEY: Singing ??? Ali said it ( CHEESEY ) !!! The Look on Alis face was priceless... She cant even hide that the producers are keeping this guy here at this point just for his drama factor... She wants him gone so bad she can taste it... My advice is if your not gonna sing to a girl everyday when you are dating her don't do it... Be yourself don't do anything you wouldn't normally do... Then he has the balls to say I SNUCK OUT TO GET A TATTOO ??? REALLY BRO - You really snuck out to get a tattoo camera crew, producers and all WOW... YOU ARE SNEAKY .... WOW I think he forgot 15 million people were gonna watch and Analyze or he wouldn't have said that ?? That was sooooo PRODUCED it wasn't even funny..
ROBERTO: This guy is very Genuine He's Just being himself... That gos along way especially with the guys.. You cant hate a guy for being a rad guy.. Hes kinda like the Kiptyn Locke of the season.. I loved when he said ( You cant describe what these experiences are like in words ) Hes totally right and thats why all of us cast members love to get together and compare stories Because we can all Relate...
FRANK: This Guy is Funny I love his Commentary making fun of the other guys its hilarious... He kinda reminds me of my Boy Jason Mesnick a little bit... Both Very Genuine Dudes...
KIRK: WELL DONE MAN ! First he let her know it was ok to go to bed early because she was sick then offers to walk her to her room... WELL PLAYED.. PS: Again if you are watching it on TV THEN THEY ARE NOT ALONE !!!! There were probably 2 -3 Camera crews in that room with them so probably around 8 -10 people there with them watching the whole thing unravel...
CHRIS L: This guy is also great dude... I love how family oriented he is ... You can see it when he talks about his mom or dad... Ali even dropped a little hint after talking to his dad on the phone she said I would love to marry into a family like that... I could see Ali ending up with him he is like an East Coast version of her life... San Fran is on the water just like Cape Cod... They have Alot in common I could see them ending up together...Nice work on the rose buddy...
JUSTIN: I LOVED when he said I am going on record to call him a fibber ! THERE ARE CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BRO.... Everything is on record did you forget your filming a TV SHOW ? Stop trying to get other guys in trouble and just DO YOU... Rated R got his man hahhahahahahahahah Right.....
JESSE: Loved how REAL he was when he got kicked off he said I can't wait to go home and see my dogs... Cool guy... Call me anytime bro we can grab a drink...
WEATHERMAN: Loved the shot of you watching Ali and Craig R on their 1 on 1 time hahhahaha Then you butted in and didn't even follow through with the steal ??? Dude Again Confidence is KEY... SUNNY SKIES Are in your future bro JUST DO YOU.... Cant wait to see you on Bachelor Pad bro Good luck...
NEXT WEEK ICELAND...
Monday, June 14, 2010
OKAY! THE BLOG IS OPEN FOR ANYONE TO POST NOW
Welcome everyone new and old. Feel free to post comments or your own original posts. This blog is now open to all. All you need is to make up a google email address, if you don't already have one. (whatever name you want @ gmail.com)
Hope to see you on here.
Marianna
Hope to see you on here.
Marianna
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Important message for all the Bach Board members who have come on here
Hi everyone,
I have just been made aware that if you were not among the original ones to sign up on this blog, you cannot post anything at the moment.
I have a message in to our friend (tall oak) Papa Jim to see if this can be changed.
How nice it would be to have our own blog here to discuss the show and all those other topics that come up -- away from the board mods capricious deleting habits!
So... hang in there; be patient and keep trying. I hope soon you all will be able to post here.
I will post my musings here each week from now on.
Marianna
I have just been made aware that if you were not among the original ones to sign up on this blog, you cannot post anything at the moment.
I have a message in to our friend (tall oak) Papa Jim to see if this can be changed.
How nice it would be to have our own blog here to discuss the show and all those other topics that come up -- away from the board mods capricious deleting habits!
So... hang in there; be patient and keep trying. I hope soon you all will be able to post here.
I will post my musings here each week from now on.
Marianna
Marianna's Musings: Final exam from Jake's season
Now that the season finale and ATFR have aired, it's time for you all to take your final exam. Pens and paper, everyone. Winner gets a free fondue pot and a year's supply of cheese.
1. At the St. Lucia outdoor market with Gia, why did Jake suddenly start bending his knees and swivelling ?
a) He wanted to celebrate his love for Gia
b) He was trying to relieve a wedgie
c) He was auditioning for Dancing With The Stars
2. Why did Jake's pants seem to get shorter and shorter this episode?
a) He got higher lifts leading up to the proposal scene
b) He was preparing for the inevitable flood of tears
c) He was working towards an eventual mankini
3. Why did Jake's parents, brothers and sisters-in-law all show up in St. Lucia?
a) They missed their daily family dog piles with Jake
b) Fleiss got a six-for-one coupon deal on a hotel room
c) They promised to provide free dental care to cast and crew
4. Why was Jake's dad crying so much?
a) His all-time favourite movie is "The Little Mermaid"
b) He'd found a copy of the script and saw the ending
c) He realized Fliess doesn't floss regularly
5. What's the best lesson Jake's family ever taught him?
a) No 'dog-piling' on a girl before marriage
b) Women are the glue; men just come unglued
c) Always wear drip-dry clothing when around pools
6. What's the best lesson Vienna's parents ever taught her?
a) Don't talk badly about others with your mouth full at the table
b) Trade pink cubic zirconia for Neil Lane diamonds every time
c) Your Bic razor can last a long time if you use it sparingly
7. Who also got a free trip to St. Lucia?
a) Jeffrey Osbourne
b) Rozlyn's producer's ex-wife
c) Tenley's ex-husband
8. What is the official food of the show?
a) Vienna sausage
b) Uncured ham
c) Cheese Whiz
9. Why did Jake's family change their initial impression of Vienna?
a) Fliess threatened to stick them with their hotel bill
b) Vinnie Girardi had some guys come by to 'talk' to them
c) They'd never seen such big teeth before
10. Why did the show take a trip to the mud baths?
a) Hot tubs and massage beds are so last season
b) Vienna wanted to try out Jake's future chest tattoo
c) Having practised it all season, the show wanted to sling mud for real
11. Which Disney creatures guided Tenley on her boating date with Jake?
a) Mermaids
b) Dolphins
c) Bluebirds
12. What was your favourite product placement on this episode?
a) Neil Lane diamonds
b) St. Lucia Tourism
c) Disney Corporation
13. What does Jake especially love about Tenley?
a) Her values and temperament
b) Her voice and dancing
c) That little hint of a mustache
14. What does Tenley especially love about Jake?
a) How good he always smells
b) How thoroughly he soaps his chest
c) How he never flubs his lines
15. What does Jake especially love about Vienna?
a) Her impeccable grammar
b) Her naturally long, blond hair
c) Her refreshing immaturity
16. On the ATFR episode, what did Jake call Vienna?
a) My bungee baby
b) My Hooter's honey
c) My Viennese vixen
17. What was the most suprising transformation of the ATFR show?
a) Ali quickly gets over her love for Jake in anticipation of 50 new guys
b) Vienna addresses the roots of her problems and gets a makeover
c) The audience, at first skeptical of the whole thing, warms up after a few cocktails
18. Where are Jake and Vienna going to call home for the next while?
a) Papa Vinnie's garage, so he can be close to his princess
b) As far away from Ali as humanly possible
c) Somewhere in L.A., close to DWTS studios
19. Who has formed the strongest pact?
a) Ali against Vienna, dragging the other bachelorettes along
b) Vienna against Ali, dragging Jake and the tabloids along
c) Fleiss against the thinking public, dragging Chris Harrison along
20. Arrange the following in the correct chronological order:
a) Ali leaves the show
b) Ali tries to come back to Jake
c) Ali get offered the role of new bachelorette
1. At the St. Lucia outdoor market with Gia, why did Jake suddenly start bending his knees and swivelling ?
a) He wanted to celebrate his love for Gia
b) He was trying to relieve a wedgie
c) He was auditioning for Dancing With The Stars
2. Why did Jake's pants seem to get shorter and shorter this episode?
a) He got higher lifts leading up to the proposal scene
b) He was preparing for the inevitable flood of tears
c) He was working towards an eventual mankini
3. Why did Jake's parents, brothers and sisters-in-law all show up in St. Lucia?
a) They missed their daily family dog piles with Jake
b) Fleiss got a six-for-one coupon deal on a hotel room
c) They promised to provide free dental care to cast and crew
4. Why was Jake's dad crying so much?
a) His all-time favourite movie is "The Little Mermaid"
b) He'd found a copy of the script and saw the ending
c) He realized Fliess doesn't floss regularly
5. What's the best lesson Jake's family ever taught him?
a) No 'dog-piling' on a girl before marriage
b) Women are the glue; men just come unglued
c) Always wear drip-dry clothing when around pools
6. What's the best lesson Vienna's parents ever taught her?
a) Don't talk badly about others with your mouth full at the table
b) Trade pink cubic zirconia for Neil Lane diamonds every time
c) Your Bic razor can last a long time if you use it sparingly
7. Who also got a free trip to St. Lucia?
a) Jeffrey Osbourne
b) Rozlyn's producer's ex-wife
c) Tenley's ex-husband
8. What is the official food of the show?
a) Vienna sausage
b) Uncured ham
c) Cheese Whiz
9. Why did Jake's family change their initial impression of Vienna?
a) Fliess threatened to stick them with their hotel bill
b) Vinnie Girardi had some guys come by to 'talk' to them
c) They'd never seen such big teeth before
10. Why did the show take a trip to the mud baths?
a) Hot tubs and massage beds are so last season
b) Vienna wanted to try out Jake's future chest tattoo
c) Having practised it all season, the show wanted to sling mud for real
11. Which Disney creatures guided Tenley on her boating date with Jake?
a) Mermaids
b) Dolphins
c) Bluebirds
12. What was your favourite product placement on this episode?
a) Neil Lane diamonds
b) St. Lucia Tourism
c) Disney Corporation
13. What does Jake especially love about Tenley?
a) Her values and temperament
b) Her voice and dancing
c) That little hint of a mustache
14. What does Tenley especially love about Jake?
a) How good he always smells
b) How thoroughly he soaps his chest
c) How he never flubs his lines
15. What does Jake especially love about Vienna?
a) Her impeccable grammar
b) Her naturally long, blond hair
c) Her refreshing immaturity
16. On the ATFR episode, what did Jake call Vienna?
a) My bungee baby
b) My Hooter's honey
c) My Viennese vixen
17. What was the most suprising transformation of the ATFR show?
a) Ali quickly gets over her love for Jake in anticipation of 50 new guys
b) Vienna addresses the roots of her problems and gets a makeover
c) The audience, at first skeptical of the whole thing, warms up after a few cocktails
18. Where are Jake and Vienna going to call home for the next while?
a) Papa Vinnie's garage, so he can be close to his princess
b) As far away from Ali as humanly possible
c) Somewhere in L.A., close to DWTS studios
19. Who has formed the strongest pact?
a) Ali against Vienna, dragging the other bachelorettes along
b) Vienna against Ali, dragging Jake and the tabloids along
c) Fleiss against the thinking public, dragging Chris Harrison along
20. Arrange the following in the correct chronological order:
a) Ali leaves the show
b) Ali tries to come back to Jake
c) Ali get offered the role of new bachelorette
Marianna's Musings: Ali's Premiere Episode
Ali's Well That Ends Well:
It's a kinder, gentler Ali we find as the show opens.
It seems she's washed that man Jake right out of her hair extensions. She's waxed philosophical about a job vs. true love and she's ready to prance about in cute outfits or fr0lic in the surf (sans leather boots this time) and meet her men.
Ain't love grand? Thanks to the miracle of reality television, one week, you can be collapsing in hotel hallways; the next, you are a pretty yellow flower (okay, she wore a black dress but be ready for more yellow) with men buzzing around you like bees.
Ali, as Queen Bee, was as charming and fun as a hostess could get. The cattiness and the pacts against Vienna were but a distant memory and Ali seemed nervous but effusive as she welcomed her men.
The Forecast? It's Raining Men (Hallelujah)
In honour of the weather man, let's try our hands at a sort of forecast. Who will be let go and who will go far in the competition?
(And the most important question of all: how many times will the phrase "for the right reasons" be uttered before all is said and done? -- the count is already at eight, after only one episode).
Frank: While his caption says "Retail Manager", Frank tells us he left a lucrative career in mergers and acquisitions and is now a living-in-the-parents'-basement type aspiring screenwriter. Uh oh. Is he here for... wait for it... the right reasons or does he just want his script read by some tv producers?
Or could he be this season's Mike Stag? He leaps, he bounds, he climbs tall limos. He declares his love for Ali even before meeting her. A bit... premature, isn't it? (Are we sure he's not the real ... er... 'shooter'?)
Craig M. aka 'the toupee man': Is that his own hair? Only his hairdresser knows for sure. Craig and his hair have attitude. From his first words to Ali, "wow, I'm so happy you're not Vienna", to his clashes with Kyle the wrestler, Craig managed singlehandedly to destroy the stereotype of the polite Canadian. He (and his hair) will be interesting to watch.
John C: Don't know how much romantic chemistry there is between Ali and him but he caught my attention with his clever spoof of "the proposal". Genuine fake cubic zirconia ring in hand, he got down on bended knee and took a few jabs at the silliness of this show. He got points for that in my book. Ali seemed to enjoy it too. He'll be 'the friend'.
Kyle the outdoorsman: Despite her declarations that she just LIVES to fish, Ali did a quick job of catch and release on this one.
Can we blame her? After giving us a taxidermic tour of all the cute critters he's slaughtered, Kyle offers us this compelling creed: It's lonely out there. No women, just trees. I need a woman." And just when we thought he couldn't get any weirder, he offers to eat the First Impression rose, so that it'll stay part of him forever.
Jonathan the weatherman: He's going to use his secret weapon: humour. Only problem, we didn't get to see much of it during the first episode. May be too early to judge but I sense some arrogance with a chance of a snowjob here.
Chris L: Now here's a genuine guy. A former high school math teacher, he left work to be with his dying mother. And he didn't even try to use the sympathy card by telling Ali about it on the first night.
But he is sensitive. How do I know? Why, because he obviously watches the show, recounting with alarming attention to detail, Ali's distressful "Jake or job" moment. All kidding aside, hope he goes far.
Justin 'Rated-R' the wrestler: A study in contrasts. Is he a ladies' man and so reviled by his peers that the overwhelming majority attempted to vote him off the island? Or is he the family-oriented sweetheart, kissing his grandma with promises to bring her home a nice wife (but not too pretty, 'cause the pretty ones are trouble, says grandma).
Ty the recently divorced one: Sure, he's charming; he's fun with a guitar and Ali likes his accent but is he this season's Tenley? On the rebound from his ex-wife? Let's see...
Jesse: Nice touch, to carve Ali a wooden heart. Not at all peculiar, even for a Peculiar man.
Roberto, of the 'hot sauce' dance: Ali is smitten and who can blame her. He so utterly charmed Ali that she couldn't even distinguish what his name was when he pronounced it the Latino way.
On the other hand, maybe it was just nerves. I'd be slightly unnerved too, if those soulful chocolate eyes were looking at me. It was such a magical moment that I almost forgot about the blatant stereotyping. Of course, not one of the white guys knows how to salsa dance, right? (Actually, having watched Jake dance with Gia in St. Lucia, maybe it's not such a stereotype after all...)
Kasey: Shades of "Fatal Attraction"? Mr. Intense, still reeling from the shock of his parents' divorce and of his father's infidelity (this happened when he was twelve), he tells Ali, within a few seconds of meeting her, ''I want you to know I will always be there to protect and guard your heart."
Later, we see him with his wrists bandaged while ambulances are in the background. Now all this may just be Fleissian fabrication but I'll bet he's been cast as the intense and slightly loopy one. Jake's Michelle. Jason's Tooth Nazi.
Oh, the marvels of editing. Thank goodness they all eagerly signed on the dotted line beside "we can (and will) besmirch your reputation at every turn."
Kirk: He's cute. And artsy. First he makes Ali a rose out of his red pocket puff. But wait, there's more. He also made her a scrapbook. And, from the looks of the teasers, he goes far.
I'm all for it. Scrapbooking in a man brings out his sensitive side, don't you think? Perhaps next he'll crochet her a doily. The possibilities are endless.
Derrick a.k.a. 'Shooter': Well, what can I say? He left, rather prematurely.
It's a kinder, gentler Ali we find as the show opens.
It seems she's washed that man Jake right out of her hair extensions. She's waxed philosophical about a job vs. true love and she's ready to prance about in cute outfits or fr0lic in the surf (sans leather boots this time) and meet her men.
Ain't love grand? Thanks to the miracle of reality television, one week, you can be collapsing in hotel hallways; the next, you are a pretty yellow flower (okay, she wore a black dress but be ready for more yellow) with men buzzing around you like bees.
Ali, as Queen Bee, was as charming and fun as a hostess could get. The cattiness and the pacts against Vienna were but a distant memory and Ali seemed nervous but effusive as she welcomed her men.
The Forecast? It's Raining Men (Hallelujah)
In honour of the weather man, let's try our hands at a sort of forecast. Who will be let go and who will go far in the competition?
(And the most important question of all: how many times will the phrase "for the right reasons" be uttered before all is said and done? -- the count is already at eight, after only one episode).
Frank: While his caption says "Retail Manager", Frank tells us he left a lucrative career in mergers and acquisitions and is now a living-in-the-parents'-basement type aspiring screenwriter. Uh oh. Is he here for... wait for it... the right reasons or does he just want his script read by some tv producers?
Or could he be this season's Mike Stag? He leaps, he bounds, he climbs tall limos. He declares his love for Ali even before meeting her. A bit... premature, isn't it? (Are we sure he's not the real ... er... 'shooter'?)
Craig M. aka 'the toupee man': Is that his own hair? Only his hairdresser knows for sure. Craig and his hair have attitude. From his first words to Ali, "wow, I'm so happy you're not Vienna", to his clashes with Kyle the wrestler, Craig managed singlehandedly to destroy the stereotype of the polite Canadian. He (and his hair) will be interesting to watch.
John C: Don't know how much romantic chemistry there is between Ali and him but he caught my attention with his clever spoof of "the proposal". Genuine fake cubic zirconia ring in hand, he got down on bended knee and took a few jabs at the silliness of this show. He got points for that in my book. Ali seemed to enjoy it too. He'll be 'the friend'.
Kyle the outdoorsman: Despite her declarations that she just LIVES to fish, Ali did a quick job of catch and release on this one.
Can we blame her? After giving us a taxidermic tour of all the cute critters he's slaughtered, Kyle offers us this compelling creed: It's lonely out there. No women, just trees. I need a woman." And just when we thought he couldn't get any weirder, he offers to eat the First Impression rose, so that it'll stay part of him forever.
Jonathan the weatherman: He's going to use his secret weapon: humour. Only problem, we didn't get to see much of it during the first episode. May be too early to judge but I sense some arrogance with a chance of a snowjob here.
Chris L: Now here's a genuine guy. A former high school math teacher, he left work to be with his dying mother. And he didn't even try to use the sympathy card by telling Ali about it on the first night.
But he is sensitive. How do I know? Why, because he obviously watches the show, recounting with alarming attention to detail, Ali's distressful "Jake or job" moment. All kidding aside, hope he goes far.
Justin 'Rated-R' the wrestler: A study in contrasts. Is he a ladies' man and so reviled by his peers that the overwhelming majority attempted to vote him off the island? Or is he the family-oriented sweetheart, kissing his grandma with promises to bring her home a nice wife (but not too pretty, 'cause the pretty ones are trouble, says grandma).
Ty the recently divorced one: Sure, he's charming; he's fun with a guitar and Ali likes his accent but is he this season's Tenley? On the rebound from his ex-wife? Let's see...
Jesse: Nice touch, to carve Ali a wooden heart. Not at all peculiar, even for a Peculiar man.
Roberto, of the 'hot sauce' dance: Ali is smitten and who can blame her. He so utterly charmed Ali that she couldn't even distinguish what his name was when he pronounced it the Latino way.
On the other hand, maybe it was just nerves. I'd be slightly unnerved too, if those soulful chocolate eyes were looking at me. It was such a magical moment that I almost forgot about the blatant stereotyping. Of course, not one of the white guys knows how to salsa dance, right? (Actually, having watched Jake dance with Gia in St. Lucia, maybe it's not such a stereotype after all...)
Kasey: Shades of "Fatal Attraction"? Mr. Intense, still reeling from the shock of his parents' divorce and of his father's infidelity (this happened when he was twelve), he tells Ali, within a few seconds of meeting her, ''I want you to know I will always be there to protect and guard your heart."
Later, we see him with his wrists bandaged while ambulances are in the background. Now all this may just be Fleissian fabrication but I'll bet he's been cast as the intense and slightly loopy one. Jake's Michelle. Jason's Tooth Nazi.
Oh, the marvels of editing. Thank goodness they all eagerly signed on the dotted line beside "we can (and will) besmirch your reputation at every turn."
Kirk: He's cute. And artsy. First he makes Ali a rose out of his red pocket puff. But wait, there's more. He also made her a scrapbook. And, from the looks of the teasers, he goes far.
I'm all for it. Scrapbooking in a man brings out his sensitive side, don't you think? Perhaps next he'll crochet her a doily. The possibilities are endless.
Derrick a.k.a. 'Shooter': Well, what can I say? He left, rather prematurely.
Marianna's Musings: Ali's Episode 2
SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF THE BACHELORETTE: EPISODE TWO
Craig R., complaining about too much guitar-playing on The Bachelorette: The sound of chihuahuas everywhere, yapping in protest.
The classic car breaking down: The sound of over-exaggerated and fake sounds of a car breaking down.
Ali and Frank darting through busy highway traffic (presumably with several cameramen in tow): The sight of hundreds of personal injury lawyers around the country, reaching for their business cards.
Craig M.'s eyes darting and scowling, while his tongue flicks in and out: The sight of an obvious Fleissian villain.
Ali and Frank, standing by the iconic Hollywood sign: The sound of their showbiz career aspirations, symbolically snapping into place.
Ali's unclean fingernails: The sight of a girl who may have clawed in too much dirt.
Frank telling Ali he spent a month and a half in Paris without picking up any French: The sound of a screenwriter lost in translation.
Jesse, changing into only the second suit of his life and, no doubt, first, cufflinks: The sound of hundreds of housewives, booking their direct flights to Peculiar, Ohio.
Ali, at the wheel of a speeding red Ferrari: The sound of the blood of many male viewers, rushing somewhere important.
Justin the wrestler, complaining about all the stairs he has to hobble up and down: The sight of a certain Spanish avian creature, bobbing in sympathy on one appendage.
Jonathan the speedo-clad weatherman, berating his shortcomings: The sight of insecure men everywhere, wincing at the embarrassment of swimsuit shrinkage.
The calendar poses of Men in Mankinis: The sight of Ed smirking in satisfaction at the Bachelorette trend he's created.
Above-mentioned calendar men posing with cigars and telescopes: The sound of six million viewers being hit on the head with phallic symbols.
Frank telling Ali she feels like his girlfriend: The sound of irony ringing in the ears of those who follow spoilers.
Ali saying to Justin, "I like you. I hope you like me": The sight of viewers' brains atrophying for want of an intelligent conversation.
Chris L telling Ali about his family ties, saying "they are who I am": The sight of millions of women ticking off yet another box on their list of 'husband material' requirements.
Jonathan classifying Craig M. as a "category 6 a-hole": The sound of hurricanes everywhere, roaring in agreement.
Ali with Roberto: The sight of a woman, giggling and blushing and utterly smitten by a Latin lover with an exotic-sounding name.
Jonathan declaring that he will deny the existence of the Almighty if Craig M. gets a rose: The sound of smiting from the heavens.
Craig M.'s garbled attempt to answer Ali's question about how he feels about her: The sound of many empty bottles of booze, clinking.
Jonathan wearing a rose before he actually got one: The sight of discerning viewers everywhere, cringing at the poor production values of this show.
Craig M.'s outtakes, as he's quinting and mocking Justin the 'Rated R' wrestler: The sound of relieved laughter from us all, as one villain leaves without hurting the heroine, perhaps ceding his position to the real villain of the season?
Craig R., complaining about too much guitar-playing on The Bachelorette: The sound of chihuahuas everywhere, yapping in protest.
The classic car breaking down: The sound of over-exaggerated and fake sounds of a car breaking down.
Ali and Frank darting through busy highway traffic (presumably with several cameramen in tow): The sight of hundreds of personal injury lawyers around the country, reaching for their business cards.
Craig M.'s eyes darting and scowling, while his tongue flicks in and out: The sight of an obvious Fleissian villain.
Ali and Frank, standing by the iconic Hollywood sign: The sound of their showbiz career aspirations, symbolically snapping into place.
Ali's unclean fingernails: The sight of a girl who may have clawed in too much dirt.
Frank telling Ali he spent a month and a half in Paris without picking up any French: The sound of a screenwriter lost in translation.
Jesse, changing into only the second suit of his life and, no doubt, first, cufflinks: The sound of hundreds of housewives, booking their direct flights to Peculiar, Ohio.
Ali, at the wheel of a speeding red Ferrari: The sound of the blood of many male viewers, rushing somewhere important.
Justin the wrestler, complaining about all the stairs he has to hobble up and down: The sight of a certain Spanish avian creature, bobbing in sympathy on one appendage.
Jonathan the speedo-clad weatherman, berating his shortcomings: The sight of insecure men everywhere, wincing at the embarrassment of swimsuit shrinkage.
The calendar poses of Men in Mankinis: The sight of Ed smirking in satisfaction at the Bachelorette trend he's created.
Above-mentioned calendar men posing with cigars and telescopes: The sound of six million viewers being hit on the head with phallic symbols.
Frank telling Ali she feels like his girlfriend: The sound of irony ringing in the ears of those who follow spoilers.
Ali saying to Justin, "I like you. I hope you like me": The sight of viewers' brains atrophying for want of an intelligent conversation.
Chris L telling Ali about his family ties, saying "they are who I am": The sight of millions of women ticking off yet another box on their list of 'husband material' requirements.
Jonathan classifying Craig M. as a "category 6 a-hole": The sound of hurricanes everywhere, roaring in agreement.
Ali with Roberto: The sight of a woman, giggling and blushing and utterly smitten by a Latin lover with an exotic-sounding name.
Jonathan declaring that he will deny the existence of the Almighty if Craig M. gets a rose: The sound of smiting from the heavens.
Craig M.'s garbled attempt to answer Ali's question about how he feels about her: The sound of many empty bottles of booze, clinking.
Jonathan wearing a rose before he actually got one: The sight of discerning viewers everywhere, cringing at the poor production values of this show.
Craig M.'s outtakes, as he's quinting and mocking Justin the 'Rated R' wrestler: The sound of relieved laughter from us all, as one villain leaves without hurting the heroine, perhaps ceding his position to the real villain of the season?
Marianna's Musings: Ali's Episode 3
GIVE 'EM WHAT THEY NEED
For heaven's sake, give Ali some self-confidence so that she can stop asking herself if Roberto thinks she's pretty enough. You're the bachelorette, honey; the men are actually here for you (okay, some are not, but still, stop second-guessing yourself).
Give Frank some aloe vera to calm his burning cheek after being slapped silly by Ali. And while we're at it, how about something to calm his burning anxiety at seeing other men get physical with 'his girlfriend'.
AND NOW, TONIGHT'S WEATHER FORECAST
Unsettled, with a chance of tears falling if asked to kiss a girl in public.
THE ANTITHESIS OF A 'HOT-TUB HARRIS' MOMENT
Ali and Hunter are in the hot tub where Ali suddenly has the irresistible urge to get out and go make s'mores. Sadly, Hunter doesn't get some, let alone s'more.
MOTHERHOOD AND APPLE PIE
Chris L. talks about tatooing his mother's signature over his heart. Oh, what's the point of continuing on with the show now. What guy can top that?! Go straight to F1.
COME ON, FLEISS! YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE: MOST OBVIOUS LINES THIS EPISODE
Kirk says: "Things really solidified in the hot tub." ( I'll bet they did, Kirk).
Jonathan, after Ali kisses him, says: "I blew up like a rocket ship". (What, Fleiss? No erupting volcano imagery? Remember, he's a weatherman and not an astronaut).
Justin: I'd give up wrestling in a second for Ali. (Forget Rated R. This one is Rated B.S.)
Ali and Roberto to each other on the tightrope: "Are you ready for fall for me? (Currently rivalling "for the right reasons" as the most sickeningly overused line in Bachelor history).
VOULEZ-VOUS?
Apparently Roberto took some high school French, in addition to being fluent in his native Spanish and getting by in Italian. This pushes Ali further teetering over the edge; thankfully, Roberto's bushy eyebrows are nearby to hold onto for safety.
CAN YOU HELP HER, MAKS?
Now we know why we didn't see Ali dancing during Jake's season. Based on her laughably disjointed moves while dancing to the Barenaked Ladies, could you just imagine the scene if Jake had danced with her at the outdoor market in Saint Lucia?
SEE? THAT'S WHY HE'S A SCREENWRITER AND WE'RE NOT
Frank immediately sees the parallel between The Barenaked Ladies song "You run away" and the situation on The Bachelorette. And I was stupid enough to wonder why he was still living in his parents' basement.
THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD
Justin's oh-so-scripted trek to see Ali at her house, complete with fake sweat and 'surprise' entrance while Ali just happened to be talking to the camera. If you look carefully in the shot, you can just about see the taxi driver who followed behind, carrying Justin's family photo albums and some portly crew members.
WHAT A WASTE
Steve applying chapstick on lips which Ali will never kiss.
Hunter cooking fifteen hotdogs on a date for two. (Wait! Maybe Jill and Ed will be over later).
A perfectly good Barenaked Ladies song ruined by that ridiculous music video.
CAST YOUR VOTE HERE FOR THE CASTED CRY BY THE CASTED GUY
Okay, everybody. Who fake-cries the best? Is it Jason over a balcony? Jake over a railing? Or Justin, sitting pensively in the dark on the stone patio?
BURNING QUESTIONS
Why did that mouse look so cartoon-like?
Did Fleiss spend so much on roses, candles and travel that he can't now afford a housekeeper to come and vacuum the mansion once in a while?
Are the Barenaked Ladies really going to use that music video?
Were Kirk and Ali instructed to keep rolling around in bed even after the fake director yelled "cut"?
Does Kasey have a helium addiction?
For heaven's sake, give Ali some self-confidence so that she can stop asking herself if Roberto thinks she's pretty enough. You're the bachelorette, honey; the men are actually here for you (okay, some are not, but still, stop second-guessing yourself).
Give Frank some aloe vera to calm his burning cheek after being slapped silly by Ali. And while we're at it, how about something to calm his burning anxiety at seeing other men get physical with 'his girlfriend'.
AND NOW, TONIGHT'S WEATHER FORECAST
Unsettled, with a chance of tears falling if asked to kiss a girl in public.
THE ANTITHESIS OF A 'HOT-TUB HARRIS' MOMENT
Ali and Hunter are in the hot tub where Ali suddenly has the irresistible urge to get out and go make s'mores. Sadly, Hunter doesn't get some, let alone s'more.
MOTHERHOOD AND APPLE PIE
Chris L. talks about tatooing his mother's signature over his heart. Oh, what's the point of continuing on with the show now. What guy can top that?! Go straight to F1.
COME ON, FLEISS! YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE: MOST OBVIOUS LINES THIS EPISODE
Kirk says: "Things really solidified in the hot tub." ( I'll bet they did, Kirk).
Jonathan, after Ali kisses him, says: "I blew up like a rocket ship". (What, Fleiss? No erupting volcano imagery? Remember, he's a weatherman and not an astronaut).
Justin: I'd give up wrestling in a second for Ali. (Forget Rated R. This one is Rated B.S.)
Ali and Roberto to each other on the tightrope: "Are you ready for fall for me? (Currently rivalling "for the right reasons" as the most sickeningly overused line in Bachelor history).
VOULEZ-VOUS?
Apparently Roberto took some high school French, in addition to being fluent in his native Spanish and getting by in Italian. This pushes Ali further teetering over the edge; thankfully, Roberto's bushy eyebrows are nearby to hold onto for safety.
CAN YOU HELP HER, MAKS?
Now we know why we didn't see Ali dancing during Jake's season. Based on her laughably disjointed moves while dancing to the Barenaked Ladies, could you just imagine the scene if Jake had danced with her at the outdoor market in Saint Lucia?
SEE? THAT'S WHY HE'S A SCREENWRITER AND WE'RE NOT
Frank immediately sees the parallel between The Barenaked Ladies song "You run away" and the situation on The Bachelorette. And I was stupid enough to wonder why he was still living in his parents' basement.
THE LONG AND WINDING ROAD
Justin's oh-so-scripted trek to see Ali at her house, complete with fake sweat and 'surprise' entrance while Ali just happened to be talking to the camera. If you look carefully in the shot, you can just about see the taxi driver who followed behind, carrying Justin's family photo albums and some portly crew members.
WHAT A WASTE
Steve applying chapstick on lips which Ali will never kiss.
Hunter cooking fifteen hotdogs on a date for two. (Wait! Maybe Jill and Ed will be over later).
A perfectly good Barenaked Ladies song ruined by that ridiculous music video.
CAST YOUR VOTE HERE FOR THE CASTED CRY BY THE CASTED GUY
Okay, everybody. Who fake-cries the best? Is it Jason over a balcony? Jake over a railing? Or Justin, sitting pensively in the dark on the stone patio?
BURNING QUESTIONS
Why did that mouse look so cartoon-like?
Did Fleiss spend so much on roses, candles and travel that he can't now afford a housekeeper to come and vacuum the mansion once in a while?
Are the Barenaked Ladies really going to use that music video?
Were Kirk and Ali instructed to keep rolling around in bed even after the fake director yelled "cut"?
Does Kasey have a helium addiction?
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