Unicorn Love – A Fantasy Reality Show

(as if there were any other kind)

Inspired by Chris L and Decogirl

The princess-to-be CinderAli stands before a fairytale castle, wringing her hands. A point of light appears above her, growing larger as it descends. It resolves into an elderly fairy.

Fairy God Mother: My dear are you ready to meet your suitors and find true love?

CinderAli: How can I be ready when I’m dressed in rags?

The fairy waves her wand and CinderAli is dressed in a beautiful blue gown. Bluebirds hover above her and tie a blue ribbon in her hair.

CinderAli: This is wonderful! Do you have it in yellow?

The fairy rolls her eyes but obliges her. With another wave of her wand, the dress turns yellow. The bluebirds remove the ribbon. Two canaries replace it with a yellow ribbon.

Fairy God Mother: Hark! Your suitors approach! I best be gone.

The fairy disappears in a ball of light. A dragon carrying a variety of different fantasy creatures lands beside the princess. A small man in a pointed hat and dark robes approaches her. He reaches behind his back and produces a thistle on a long stem.

Prognosticator: Drats! That was supposed to be a rose!

CinderAli: Are you a sorcerer?

Prognosticator: I haven’t got my license yet. I’m a prognosticator.

CinderAli: So you’re a sorcerer’s apprentice?

Prognosticator: I HATE when people call me that!

He starts to cry.

CinderAli: Sorry!

A large ogre carrying a giant club roughly pushes the prognosticator aside.

Prognosticator: Hey! I’d turn you into a frog if I passed Transmutation!

Ogre: You must be CinderAli.

CinderAli: You must be an ogre.

Ogre: You got a problem with that?

An elf appears riding a unicorn.

Elf: Excuse me ogre. Can I steal the princess away?

Ogre: Suit ye’self.

Elf: Why is it you guys all have Scottish accents anyway?

The ogre shakes his head and lumbers off.

Elf: Princess CinderAli, will you ride away with me?

He reaches down and lifts her atop the unicorn in front of him.

CinderAli: Oh my!

A cat in boots and a swashbuckling hat strides up. He speaks in a sexy Spanish accent.

Puss-in-Boots: Elf, I fear that you get ahead of yourself.

The cat draws his sword and cuts the saddle strap on the unicorn. The elf and the princess fall. The cat adroitly catches the princess. He sets her on her feet. She stands and addresses the crowd that has gathered around her.

CinderAli: We’re going to have a wonderful time here! On our group date, I’ll be kidnapped by an evil magician and you will all have to save me. Next, I will be put under a sleep spell and the one whose kiss awakens me will get extra points. Finally, the suitor who can retrieve the Rose of Continuation from the fabled Hot Spring of Ardor will win my heart.