I found this on iGoogle. Here is a link. www.etonline.com/news/2009/08/77350/index.html
Can we please have someone do an clothing intervention? I am amazed that she is still hanging with him amid all the rumours( I spelled it that way in honour of all my Canadian friends. It looks nicer too!). I guess they need to make it look good for the cameras. However I feel it's all about the contract. Just my opinion.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.
Hugs,
HCM
Melanie
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Hi Melanie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for that link. I find it interesting that they put the photo from Chicago with the article about Las Vegas. Why not a photo of them there?? Were they not smiling widely enough, I wonder?
I see that People magazine, which is affiliated with ABC, has put out a 'damage control' type article. Here is the link to that:
http://tvwatch.people.com/2009/08/08/jillian-harris-and-ed-swiderski-enjoy-cozy-night-in-vegas/?cp=all
And here is what I wrote in the People article comments section:
"Why no photo of the ‘loving’ couple in Las Vegas? This accompanying photo is from Sushi Samba in Chicago.
Several blogs reporting a break-up increases the likelihood of some truth behind it. Notice that the People article didn’t deny it, it just said “the duo appeared very much together”. Appearances can deceive, especially when you have the reputation of a show to uphold.
Ed worked so late that they couldn’t go out for dinner until 11 p.m.?? I thought he promised Jillian work wouldn’t come first.
“They want to take things day to day and work on the relationship between them.” I would think so! With Ed’s girlfriends coming out of the woodwork, evidence of his having cheated after his engagement and Jillian admitting to crying about it, their relationship is going to need quite a lot of work.
Las Vegas or not Las Vegas, this is one relationship I wouldn’t bet on."
Mel,
ReplyDeleteMucho soy grande gracias for that article. I am utterly confused. Utterly. First by the article, then by Jillian.
To the article:
As M mentioned, it's an anachronistic pairing. The shot is from a Chicago dinner last week. Reliable sources are few, but myfoxphilly.com broke the story that Jill dumped Ed, citing their dinner reservation cancellation for earlier that evening as evidence to the case. Perhaps, they did eat later to avoid paparazzi. Her myspace & Facebook accounts deliver news that she's "still very much in love with Ed", though, both accounts are thought to be fakes. At the moment, I'm unwilling to accept anything except a comment directly from Jillian that says she's dumped Ed.
Now, to Jillian:
I look at Jill, yes, as a singular entity while still a symbol for the female composite. And, she's in denial. These women were deeply wounded by Ed; there's too much evidence to dispute his duplicitous dealings. His email or text ( I can't keep 'em straight) that tells Lindsey, "When I get home, I'm going to molest you" reminds me of his PI in Maui: something like, "She [Jill] looked so smokin' hot I wanted to attack her." Then, there's his favorite word, "chick" which he regularly uses to refer to Jill, first as "I'm not at all attracted to this chick" only to later call her a "chick" when she's getting dressed in the infamous fantasy suite. That evidence aside, I'll get back to the women.
Perhaps I'm an idealist, but I truly believe that women, when they retailiate against a cheater or player, do so for justice. I do believe that undercutting all the raw emotion lies the motto: Women stick together. I do believe that, regardless of the financial gain from this leak, these women hoped to do some kind of good.
As women, we are tremendously hard on ourselves and even moreso on each other. We compare, some degrade, some compete. Our culture and society push us here, but I really prefer to support other women. Not condone bad behavior as I wouldn't with men either, but support them even if that means telling her the painful truth. Jill's reaction to the girls' admissions shocked me. What would their intention be other than to oust a louse? There's no way that they could have possibly thought that if they drug every skeleton into the light, both their own and Ed's, that any relationship with him could be salvaged. I believe them. I believe who I saw Ed to be as the show progressed. I believe what I read. I believe Jill's in the greatest denial of her life.
Above all, as I do for all women, I want Jill happy and safe. I fear that she'll find neither with Ed.
Leen,
ReplyDeleteI have been out of circulation for a while, on the road, through the wilds of Oregon, with no internet access. I am finally in Seattle, so here I am on the blog, first thing :-). I have not seen, heard nor read any of the latest revealings, but I assume that they all confirm both the rumors flying around about Ed long before the show even ended, as well as our own uneasy intuitions about him as we watched his behavior and heard his arrogant use of words towards Jillian and others.
Yes, I agree with you, if women come forward to out a man's ill behavior, they do so firstly to avenge themselves against one who has wronged them and secondly, to give fair warning for other women to heed.
The fact that these women timed their revelations for now may be held against them. Why people may ask, did they wait until now? Why do the revelations occur so neatly at this time? Simple. The leaks occurred way back when; tabloids, etc. knew they had a great story here; but it was worth the most in revenues if the story came out AFTER the finsl rose. The shock is greater, the scandal is greater, the press sells the story to a whole continent's worth of people rather than just Bach fans. It is everywhere...the whispers, the rumors, the tittering, on TV, in magazines, at the supermarket checkouts...it is the scandal du jour.
The tabloids promise to pay these women for their story but the women have to stay quiet until the press gives the green light. Makes perfect sense financially; after all gossip is big business. Reality Steve tried hard to get these women to talk to him, he knew who they were, but they wouldn't even respond to any of his requests. Always sounded fishy to me; it seemed a sure case of smoke where there's fire; otherwise, they would have just denied the accusations.
So, of course they're profiting financially from this story, but my goodness, I think one can understand how horrible they felt at being used this way, and if a women is scorned badly, publicly, then it can be easy to not only take revenge, but also to reap at least some personal benefit from the very public humiliation.
Now, Jillian is another story. How is it possible that she who talked about trust first and foremost, partnership, working as a team, best friendship, etc. etc.; how can she not feel exactly the same emotions as the other women? She MUST be feeling them. It is unfathomable to me that she doesn't feel betrayed, feel anger, pain and public humiliation. Of course you are right; if she doesn't act on those feelings now, but chooses to "stand by her man" she will find her distrust in him festering in their relationship, like an open sore. Even if he turns a new leaf (? don't see how that's possible with such base morals?)she will never be able to allow herself to let her guard down around him again. That's best friends? That's an easy, loving, equal partnership? No way. If the woman stays, she will have to be a supreme fool. How sad.
Leen and Nadya,
ReplyDeleteWhat great posts! I agree with every word of them.
"there's too much evidence to dispute his duplicitous dealings."
"oust a louse..."
Leen, your post is practically poetry! :)
Nadya, excellent analysis of the timing of these leaks. I am becoming convinced that Fleiss and his gang have known for some time now about Ed's "duplicitous dealings". I think that may be why he left early in the show.
I also think that the other men may have known about his ways. Remember, Tanner used the plural when he said "some men have girlfriends".
Several of the men (Reid included) have made disparaging comments about Ed. He certainly seems to have gotten a lot of privileges (computer access, coming and going, having his parents flown to Hawaii, etc.) that are unprecedented on this show
Also, Ed left shortly after the girlfriend issue was brought up. Could he have timed his departure so as not to have Jillian meet his parents -- until much later, and even then, his father's cryptic comment of "what the hell are we doing here?" rings in my head. Why say that??
Why did Ed return? Did he want to win, at all costs? Was he offered a lot of money? I fear that it was not for the love of Jillian, as I found him quite wooden with his declarations after he returned.
Remember, Jillian spoke as if she were falling in love with Reid, not Ed. Spain was magical for 'Rilly'; we didn't see the same chemistry with 'Jed'.
So, why, as F1, did Ed get such a poor edit? Jillian told us in her blog that the whole bedroom oil massage and erectile dsyfunction scene was Fleiss' creative editing. Yet, she is shown telling Chris Harrison the next day that something was getting in the way of her intimacy with Ed. Could that have been a reference to the girlfriends and Fleiss decided, after the fact, to make it about erectile dysfunction?
Why did they choose to leave in Jillian saying: "Ed better not f***ing disappoint me"??
Why did Chris Harrison appear to have talked a clearly distraught and indecisive Jillian into choosing Ed over Reid?
Lastly, why has ABC pulled all the episode videos from their site? In past seasons, those have been up for a very long time -- for example, even after Jesse and DeAnna split, one could continue to watch their 'love story' on clips on ABC's Bachelorette website.
I absolutely believe that, calculated though they were about it, Ed's two ex-girlfriends are telling the truth about him. And, by their actions and words, they seem to want to warn Jillian more than punish Ed. They seem disgusted with themselves for having believed his charming lies.
Part 2 follows.
Part 2:
ReplyDeleteJillian's response to all this has been interesting, in little ways. Although early on in the show, she was talking about the possibility of staying in Vancouver for a while, she has now chosen to pack up and move in with Ed right away. When interviewed from his Chicago loft (he was away at work), she admitted to going through his stuff.
She says she's not been affected by any of this, yet admits to crying about it while talking to her father.
Her appearance on GMA was very telling: all her body language pointed to stress and the beginnings of the "oh my god, what have I done" sort of realization.
I think, deep down, she does not trust him 100%. But hers is not a private relationship where she can retreat to examine her feelings for a while. She invited the public for the ride and now, everything she does is open to scrutiny and criticism. Admitting you've made a mistake or been duped in front of millions of people can be quite daunting.
Plus, every day, there's a fancy, sparkling diamond on your finger and a handsome, charming man to tell you otherwise. It's enough to make the most sensible of girls shake off her misgivings and pour yet another drink to toast her exciting new life.
The only way Jillian can be happy with Ed is if she can be sure that he will break his pattern of cheating once and for all, because he is completely and utterly smitten with her.
How I wish, for her sake, that his body language revealed that. It simply does not.
Watch Ed's face in this video at the bottom of the article. Watch his mouth in particular.
http://www.examiner.com/x-12254-Newark-Reality-TV-Examiner~y2009m8d7-Mike-Fleiss-weighs-in-on-Ed-Swiderski-cheating-rumors-and-hints-at-who-the-new-Bachelor
He has a "tell". And I don't like what he's telling.
M.
The timeline:
ReplyDeleteMarch 25: Ed assures Lindsey who drives him to the airport that he plans to be only the show for only 2 weeks.
March 29: The Bachelorette begins shooting in Los Angeles.
April 12: Ed tells Lindsey that Jillian isn’t his type, saying, ” I love you….Hopefully they’ll get me home tomorrow.”
April 15: In Vancouver, Ed claims his boss wants him back in Chicago and says leaving Jillian is “one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
April 16: Ed and Lindsey spend the night together in Chicago.
April 23: After resuming communication, Ed and Bethany sleep together at this apartment.
April 25: Ed and Lindsey attend a friend’s wedding, were they kiss on the dance floor.
April 29: Ed tells both ladies he’s going to Texas for business. Instead, he flies to L.A., where he tells Jillian he made a mistake and wants to come back.
May 7: While emailing Lindsey to “trust him,” Ed is in Maui, Hawaii, with Jillian, surprising her with a visit from parents.
May 24: On the final day of shooting, Ed proposes saying, “You’re everything I could ever ask for in a woman.” Jillian accepts saying she’s “madly in love” with him.
May 29: Ed returns to Chicago from taping The Bachelorette in Hawaii.
June 3: Ed texts Bethany, “Bring beer and condoms.” Bethany is disgusted.
June 4: Ed tells Lindsey he loves her, and they sleep together. Ed says he has to go to L.A. for re-shoots but really flies back every other week to spend time with Jillian until they can go public.
June 17: Ed and Lindsey meet and when they kiss, she says, “it almost felt like a goodbye.”
July 24: Jillian and Ed appear as a couple in public. Ed says, “We’re certainly going to get married within the next 12 months.”
I really need to think more on the wonderful responses to this thread. But, I'll add to M's timeline Chris H's latest article on the JED controversy.
ReplyDeleteChris Harrison August 10
Hmmmm
Thanks Mariana for compiling that timeline and for doing the sleuthing required. I've seen bits and pieces here and there, but hadn't put it all together so succinctly.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of you that Lindsey and Bethany are not liars. The moment the rumors moved from the BB etc. to the national tabloids, I believed them. I agree that money alone would not be enough to motivate them to come forward. They have been humiliated and hurt by Ed and must feel very strongly to retaliate publicly.
As much as it makes me shudder, I can see how Jillian has chosen to close her eyes and ears and keep on sailing down the river of De Nile. After all she has been through, publicly, she would be desperate to save face. No matter if Chris Harrison or Fleiss had something to do with her choice, ultimately she has to take responsibility for it. There is no going back. "Ooops, can I have a do over please?" She has a lot invested in Ed. It might seem like everything to her actually. The prospect of her future if she were to dump him, would seem worse than telling herself he truly loves her. How much longer she can continue will be interesting to see.
I don't believe for an instant that he does love her, but what is his motivation in all of this? Why did he come back? I know we all believe he is a player and was in it to 'win'. I can't remember what the BB said about payouts for the final 3 or 4 bachelors, but you wouldn't think it would be enough to tempt him to go to these lengths.
His status as a 'celebrity' would be dubious at best, and apparently he was pre-warned by Lindsey that she intended to go public with her story. Of course, that would be after he'd proposed to Jillian. Now he is merely notorious and not in a good way.
Jill has said he has told her everything; she's seen the texts and emails etc. I wonder when he divulged all that? Makes me wonder what she might have been saying and doing with Kip and Reid (beyond what we saw), that would allow her to be ok with the evidence of Ed's behavior. She has said and wants to think that nothing matters except what happened after the proposal, as if that diamond somehow cleans the slate for both of them. I doubt she'd have a ring from Ed if he'd had to pay for it himself. Regarding Lindsey's assertion that she slept with Ed post-engagement, Jill says it's "her word against his" and she's choosing to believe Ed. He says they are being targeted because they are happy. Huh?
Throughout her 'journey' on the show, we all wondered why she was so focused on an engagement, when it seemed so completely unrealistic. Remember the "Easy on the H word Chris." Yet in the end, it seemed she chose Ed because he was the only one willing to say he'd marry her. Her Dad said "Jillian wants to get married".
ReplyDeleteKip's proposal seemed more to be an offer to put the provided ring on her finger and see how it went from there. (He picked the nicer ring IMO). No wonder he was checking for it in his pocket on the way out!
We've discussed at length here, why she let Reid go - twice. At this point, I am just glad for him. I hope he doesn't decide to be the next Bachelor.
Ultimately, they will fade from the "lime light" and I can only hope that Jillian will gain the confidence to face up to her reality in private. Who knows, maybe they deserve one another, but I wouldn't wish that on any woman.
To me, Jillian personifies the 'in love' state we can all identify with, but has yet to find out what really 'loving' means. I am referencing Jim's and Marianna's comments here.
No doubt, many couples start a marriage in this state and find a way to work through it, but with Ed's apparent immaturity, deceitfulness and arrogance (to say the least) the odds don't seem good.
As to the manipulations of Fleiss and all the questions about how Ed was able to access email, leave and come back etc., it only makes me wonder about our culture and our need to believe in 'true romance'. We want to buy this BS and do.
It reminds me of when Princess Diana died. The question was, did the paparazzi ultimately cause her demise or were the readers of their publications, with their endless thirst for news of her, responsible implicitly.
I look forward to more insights from all of you BBBB survivors.
Oh, and here's a link to an article in the Calgary Herald today.
http://www.calgaryherald.com/entertainment/Bachelorette+Harris+weathers+storm/1876367/story.html
Sometimes, don’t you just hate it when you’re right? Kelly and Nadya in particular appear to be completely right about Ed. And my worst fears about Jillian appear to be all too true.
ReplyDeleteThe link in Ann’s message includes the following from Jillian: "I was falling in love with two other guys two days before we got engaged," she told People magazine. "That's a double standard. If he had feelings for these two other girls while he was on the show, that's normal."
I read this as confirmation that even she knows that the rumors are true. But much worse, she’s okay with the truth. This is a far cry from her reaction when Tanner told her that some of the guys had girlfriends. At that time she felt betrayed. She announced that she was on the show for true, unconditional love and any man who dared to have a girlfriend while on the show was unworthy of her.
Every one of the ideals that Jillian claimed for herself in her quest for love has been thrown out the window. Trust, faithfulness, partnership, honesty, best-friendship; there is no hint of these left between them. Who is she fooling, really, when she claims that he loves her now so all of the betrayals don’t matter? She really doesn’t mind that he lied to her about everything, even his claim that he wanted only her for the next 30 years when he betrayed that commitment in 30 hours?
We wondered why the producers of The Bachelorette made Jillian look like a fool. By all accounts she truly is a fool. The many bachelors who fell for her must be shaking their heads, saying aloud “What the hell was I thinking?” What example does this set for women who admire her? It’s acceptable if a man betrays them and lies to them provided he hands out an insincere proposal and a ring he didn’t pay for?
The worst is that Jillian appears to have learned nothing from all of this. When she discovered the truth, if she sent him packing we would feel for her. But she cares nothing for her dignity, only for the appearance of her dignity. She cares more for the appearance of love than the real thing. She cares more to pretend that she was not foolish than to learn from it and become wiser. She will go to any length, perhaps even to marry the betrayer, before she admits that she was wrong.
I don’t suppose their relationship will endure long enough for a wedding. Her pride will likely tire of daily challenges by an unforgiving audience. Every public appearance will reopen fresh wounds. If and when they part, a dozen new Eds will come forward to console such an easy and willing target.
I wish things had turned out differently, but given the personalities I’m not sure how they could have turned out well.
Jim
Someone on the ABC board made this comment (paraphrased): Typically, when a couple goes kaput, they withdraw from the limelight, as it was with Travis and his pick, Tessa and Andy, Jesse and Deanna, only later to have their break-up released in an announcement.
ReplyDeleteI'm, sad to say, hoping for this outcome.
Fleiss never hid Jill's insecurities this season. The Jill that pulled us to watch the Bachelorette, as Jim said, morphed throughout this season. On this side of the season, Jill and Ed's edits now make sense. Fleiss gave us the proof--in Ed's mankini, his inappropriate comments, his FS date, his drunkenness--to raise suspicion. It'd be difficult for any of us to believe such allegations were they about Reid. Fleiss also stoked our suspicions by showing us a fickle Jillian, ruled by her passions, her eye on a proposal, motivated by insecurity in her appearance, her ability, her judge of character, who very well could not only choose an Ed because he is her equal but remain loyal to him in the face of gross lies.
I do empathize and sympathize and have compassion for her. We are all insecure about something, if not many things. We all have our masks. Even the strongest, even the best of us. We're human.
Jill's humanity just happens to be smeared all over TV and magazines right now. By her own choosing.
That being said, I'm frustrated with her, just like I'd be frustrated with myself and with my girlfriends (or guy friends) were they to stay with someone less than good for them. But, I've also had to sit with myself and with my girlfriends and with my guy friends as they stayed with someone less than good for them. Because you cannot change anyone. You can only support them as they try to figure out who they are. And, as Ann wrote, if Jill's "in love", I might have ulcers on my butt from sitting by the end of this fiasco.
If Jill does marry Ed, I fear that the picture of Jill in our minds will break and shatter to the floor. Illusions never stay.